I was in my relationship
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I was in my relationship
Stop with the neediness. Go NO Contact. No phoning, texting, talking in person, emailing with him. He's history. Move forward.
correction
You are better off not contacting him at all.
What do you mean, "what if I still wanted to talk to them" ? There is no need. The guy is a putz and is seeing someone else. What will this gain for you to talk to him anymore? To tell him you're ok with it? It will do nothing except for erode your self worth. Why do you need a d-bag like this in your life? You don't. Move on without him, don't contact him, don't think about contacting him...move forward and forget him.
what if you still value the friendship
What friendship?Quote:
Originally Posted by relationshipgir
Ok...really now....look at what you wrote to us and read it again.
Let me lay it out for you:
1) He told you to stop texting.
2) You were dating, yet you never saw each other.
3) He was talking to other girls.
4) You convinced yourself it was ok for him to do this though deep down, you thought there could be something wrong. Admit it to yourself.
5) You texted him and he wouldn't respond.
6) His GIRLFRIEND (which, you thought was you until this point) answered and told you to stop texting him. He was cheating on you if you thought you were his girlfriend but he had someone else.
7) You want to tell him you're ok with what he's doing...or maybe lash out at him for doing this to you.
So I ask....Why...WHY would you care about a friendship with a butt-head that acts like this guy? To be honest, it doesn't sound like there was any friendship there to begin with. The guy sounds cold. Why would you want to keep being friends with him and having this be a reminder to you of what he's done? I don't get it. Do you have low self-esteem? Gain some self respect and forget about him...it will do better for you in the long run that way.
correction
Now you are confusing me...how could you be a couple but not be dating?
Correction
But no longer.Quote:
Originally Posted by relationshipgir
correction
What I said earlier, I am still going with but I am done now as this seems to be going in circles. You were "a couple boyfriend and girlfriend"...so what I said still stands. Forgive my use of the word "dating" as you had confused me into thinking that you were dating since most "couples" and "boyfriend and girlfriend" happen to date each other.
correction
The friendship has been corroded with the couple/boyfriend-girlfriend phase. It's almost impossible to recapture the friendship -- at least time has to go by, and then it might be possible much later.Quote:
Originally Posted by relationshipgir
Not everyone who starts as friends and then become boyfriend/girlfriend can go back to being just friends, right away. Especially when one gets another bf/gf. He has a new g/f so it make take a long while. In the meantime you have learned a lot, and can make new friends, or get back with old ones.
Good you are not bitter, now be smart and leave him alone.
When he asked you to stop texting did he break up with you or say he needed a break? Were you paying attention if he did or were you hoping he would come to his senses and change his mind?
This stopped being about what you want when he told you to stop. You cannot make him want the same things you do. He has made it clear he wants you to leave him alone. You have to respect the boundary of No Contact that he has created.
I know you want to be friends, but he doesn't. Your texting sounds like it may be verging on harassment and that is not a good thing. Do you want to push the matter until he gets upset enough to contact the authorities and/or a lawyer?
It is time for you to let go. Move forward with your life. Make new friends. Meet new prospective boyfriends.
Most of all, take time to learn more about yourself and why you felt so insecure in the relationship. Why did you feel the need to keep in constant contact? What can you do to control the urge in your next relationship? What can you do to feel stronger and more confident about yourself? I am asking these questions because if you feel good about yourself and have a life outside the relationship you will be less likely to be clingy and needy in the relationship.
One last thing, if you are looking for closure, understand that it comes from within. There is nothing he can say or do that will make your pain and other negative emotions go away. You have to work through them on your own and let them go. Trying to contact him or remain his friend will only keep the pain alive and fresh in your mind. You will heal faster if you give yourself permission to accept you do not need him.
Give yourself a chance to come out of this stronger and more secure in yourself.
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