So, it's complicated.. my best friend is dating my crush (she is more than a crush, I love her) and I really love her.. I told her myslef, that I love her in front of my best friend ( the same guy dating her ) and another close friend of mine, because we needed to get some stuff sorted out.. She thanked me for the honesty, and told me I was brave.. I love her.. I know that I'm brave enough to tell her I love her, and certainly can stand up for her. I could walk heaven and hell for her... I cry everyday because I know how long it will be before I can date her, and I dream about her every night, and think about her every second of my life... what do I do? :/

I think you cant do much! Just be happy for your love and your best friend. If you love her truly, be happy that she is happy to be with your best friend.

You need to forget about her. She is in a relationship with your friend. Why would you try to interfere with that? Would you like it if you were seeing someone and your so called friend came up to your girlfriend and did what you did? Frankly, if I was this other guy that you call a friend, I would have knocked you out when you did that. That is really low. So you think you love her...that doesn't give you the right to dump on your friend like that.

So now I have to ask...because I think I know the answer....how old are you?

Dude, you don't go crazy over love when you know she loves someone else. That's not love, it's downright creepy, rude, and disrespectful to her, and your so called friend. You are out of control, and better get it together.

Thats not too complicated is it?

Proclaiming your love for a girl in front of her boyfriend(your friend) is just rude. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
You need to get over it and maybe learn some manners while you're at it. How old are you?

You are a jerk, and after telling her all of this in front of her boyfriend, it shows you have no manners or self control. I would doubt, she would ever consider you at this point.

First you are obsessed, love can only grow over years of being together and sharing many things. You have to let it go, and now have (or should) have lost your good friend over this.

She's a crush... you don't and can't "love" someone that doesn't reciprocate and that you haven't been with for at least several years. I really can't say it better than Fr_Chuck just did. Dude seriously... there are some lines that should never be crossed, and some things that should always be off limits. And you really aren't much of a friend at all. At this rate you won't have any friends and nobody will trust you... and that's head and shoulders about the rep you are going to get as a creep by everyone around... and a bad rep is exceptionally diffucult to overcome once you earn it... and speaking as one dude to another... you earned it. Be thankful he didn't beat the snot out of you. When I was your age that would have been almost certain to have resulted from your actions. And there are people that would have done far worse than that...with far less provokation.

Harsh yes... but apparently nobody has tought you any of these things yet.

Ok, guys I think I missed a really important point... my best friend knew about my crush, waaaaaayy before he started dating her... so yeah, he knew about my crush, and he still dated her... now this hasn't changed anything between me and my friend, and he was okay with me saying what I said, because he knows me and is actually proud of me for what I did, because he knows I had to get it out ( she had a suspicion that I had a crush on her )

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Originally Posted by smoothy

She's a crush... you don't and can't "love" someone that doesn't reciprocate and that you haven't been with for at least several years. I really can't say it better than Fr_Chuck just did. Dude seriously... there are some lines that should never be crossed, and some things that should always be off limits. And you really aren't much of a friend at all. At this rate you won't have any friends and nobody will trust you... and that's head and shoulders about the rep you are going to get as a creep by everyone around... and a bad rep is exceptionally diffucult to overcome once you earn it... and speaking as one dude to another... you earned it. Be thankful he didn't beat the snot out of you. When I was your age that would have been almost certain to have resulted from your actions. And there are people that would have done far worse than that...with far less provokation.

Harsh yes... but apparently nobody has tought you any of these things yet.

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Yeah, I have many friends who trust me, thank you. So you're saying, that this guy who I have known for ages, will be offended, even after he knew I had a crush on her for months now, andwho still went on and started dating her? Imagine how I must feel..

I can imagine how you feel, been through the same thing when someone else had a crush as strong as mine but acted while I sat on my hands to afraid to act. Well he got the girl while I got the hurt. Got that! The real question is how you deal with it the right way. It's very hard not to be hurt, and accept the girl and your friend decided to do their own thing with no regard to how you felt, but imagine how THEY feel now, since they wanted each other.

You made your point and told them how you felt, now be a big boy, and accept that things didn't work your way, and back off and be happy. Would you feel better if he said sorry, or she told you to your face that she rather have him than you, or she doesn't love you like you love her? Would that make you feel better? I doubt it.

You have to accept the obvious here, and adjust your own thinking, and get control of your own hurt feelings, and get beyond this hurtful event. Trust me guy, this won't be the only time in life you cannot have what you want, and no one will care if you throw a hissy fit about not getting it either. Just the opposite, they will say poor brat, can't get what he wanted, so he cries loudly instead of showing maturity, dignity and self respect.

You can be a baby and cry until they break up, or you can try your best to be an adult and deal with your hurt and disappointment. Which do you think is the best way to go?

Those are your choices, so make a decision what you will do about this situation. I chose to accept it and move on to better things, and in time I did, what will your choice be?

It only hurts as long as you let it so don't be stuck on the hurt, let yourself heal, and do better.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I can imagine how you feel, been through the same thing when someone else had a crush as strong as mine but acted while I sat on my hands to afraid to act. Well he got the girl while I got the hurt. Got that! The real question is how you deal with it the right way. It's very hard not to be hurt, and accept the girl and your friend decided to do their own thing with no regard to how you felt, but imagine how THEY feel now, since they wanted each other.

You made your point and told them how you felt, now be a big boy, and accept that things didn't work your way, and back off and be happy. Would you feel better if he said sorry, or she told you to your face that she rather have him than you, or she doesn't love you like you love her? Would that make you feel better? I doubt it.

You have to accept the obvious here, and adjust your own thinking, and get control of your own hurt feelings, and get beyond this hurtful event. Trust me guy, this won't be the only time in life you cannot have what you want, and no one will care if you throw a hissy fit about not getting it either. Just the opposite, they will say poor brat, can't get what he wanted, so he cries loudly instead of showing maturity, dignity and self respect.

You can be a baby and cry until they break up, or you can try your best to be an adult and deal with your hurt and disappointment. Which do you think is the best way to go?

Those are your choices, so make a decision what you will do about this situation. I chose to accept it and move on to better things, and in time I did, what will your choice be?

It only hurts as long as you let it so don't be stuck on the hurt, let yourself heal, and do better.

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Dude, thanks a lot. I'm trying to man up, and act tough in front of those guys, telling them how I'm happy for them. I have accpeted the fact that it's a two way relationship and how she must like him too,otherwise they won't be dating, would they? But at the same time, I'm not giving up.. Cuz I simply can't. I will try to control myself, but I don't think I will be able to get over her, because I won't feel the same way about any other girl. So I'm going to back off, let those two do what they want, and if I'm lucky.. who knows?

I think we all feel the same way in those situations and we know how hard it is while its still fresh in our hearts, but we finally get tired of hurting, and find other things to do to be happy.

So start by leaving them alone for a while, until you feel better, and looking around for other things to do, and different people to do it with.

It still sucks though!

I am going to start off by saying that you cannot call 'dibs' on another human being. If you had a chance to tell your friend you had a crush on her then you had time to tell her before she started seeing someone else. You didn't and even if you had she may not have shared your feelings. She could have had feelings for someone else. Actually, it looks like she did and probably would have turned you down.

Have you stopped to think that your friend may have had a crush on her and tried respecting your feelings by not telling you about his? Only difference being that he acted on his feelings and she shares them.

Stop thinking of her like a doll that you want to play with but someone got it off the shelf first. She is a human and has her own feelings. If they break up she may not want to have anything to do with you. Asking her if she would go out with you if she broke up with him would be even worse than telling her about your feelings in front of him. So you need to let thoughts of her go. It is healthier for you. Holding on to hopes about her may have you getting frustrated and unconsciously attempting to break them up or someday in the future attending their wedding hoping they will get divorced.

Think about this, while you are acting like a fool over her, you may be missing the female standing beside you who keeps hoping you will notice her. This female may be someone you might have even stronger feelings for but you are ignoring them because you are obsessing over one particular person.

Time to let this fantasy go and find a new one.

It really doesn't matter that your friend knew about your feelings before all this....the fact is, you pushed in where you shouldn't have. That is not cool no matter how you look at it. Again, would you like it if it was the other way around and he did this to you?

You need to realize that you can't have everything you want. You also need to learn acceptable behavior because this is not a good example of it. He moved first, you lost out...it's something you have to learn to live with. Many of us have already been there and dealt with it. I know I have...and I never tried to squeeze in because I knew it was my loss for not acting sooner.

Point...I still would have knocked you out if that had been me. You're lucky this kid is stupid enough to let what you did slide and to still be your friend.

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Originally Posted by ElectricWarhead

Yeah, I have many friends who trust me, thank you. So you're saying, that this guy who I have known for ages, will be offended, even after he knew I had a crush on her for months now, andwho still went on and started dating her? Imagine how I must feel..

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THis is a quick way to lose that trust your friends have in you. What you did was and didn't just have the appearance of stabbing a friend in the back.

The fact is... "having a crush" doesn't make someone hands off. Actually going out with them does when it comes to friends and anyone they date. He made that move first, and if it wasn't him it would have been someone else. Besides... just because YOU have a crush on someone, doesn't mean they will feel the same in return. In fact they more often won't.

Basically what I am saying is if you like someone... you don't spend months or years admiring them from affar. You either suck it up and ask them (assuming they aren't someone a friend is dating or is married to anyone).. or expect someone else to move in and do it.

Just having a crush on someone, doesn't make them yours or off limits to anyone.

Consider yourself lucky he is even still talking to you. You got lucky he didn't kick your butt right then, but I will bet even though he hasn't said as much... he is fuming mad inside and just hasn't decided how to deal with this breach of trust.

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Originally Posted by ElectricWarhead

Ok, guys I think I missed a really important point... my best friend knew about my crush, waaaaaayy before he started dating her... so yeah, he knew about my crush, and he still dated her... now this hasn't changed anything between me and my friend, and he was okay with me saying what I said, because he knows me and is actually proud of me for what I did, because he knows I had to get it out ( she had a suspicion that I had a crush on her )

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He may have known you had a crush and she may have suspected, but you didn't act on your feelings, he did. She obviously did not share your crush because she is dating him. Maybe he's glad you got it off your chest so you will now leave them alone. How old are you guys? That was still a pretty tacky and immature thing to do. You need to move on.