Ask Me Help Desk - Will my ex show up again?

I dated this Virgo man for 6 months, and we had a long distance relationship, but we saw each other a lot because we were both committed to make it work. In the beginning we were inseparable and after 3 months I got pregnant, but we decided to abort, we cried a lot over our decision. The truth is that I did not trust him, I did not know him enough and was afraid. After that abortion everything change for me and I became a very angry and hurt woman, very judgmental and rude, I was completely chemically imbalanced and had no idea how to act, so I kept on pushing him away, and he was always very kind, very present. With time I realized that he is very irresponsible and still immature, but I love him very much and am willing to work things out. About two months ago he was evicted from his place and the day he got the notice he called. I was very upset and brought an old issue that was completely off call, to the table, and he exploded. I said some mean and hurtful things. He hang up the phone on me and hasn't call back. I tried to call him many many times but he kept hanging up on my face, finally I called and his phone was disconnected, and now I have no idea where he could be. I am so sad. The thought of never see him again is unbearable and so often I cry in desperation. This is killing me. The truth is that I am hurt, and very disappointed. Do I deserve this? Is he just needing some space? Will he call me ever? Please help. And please be honest but kind with your answers, this is real life. Thank you

Honey, in all honesty, if he is evicted from a home, gets a phone disconnected or whatever, he isn't responsible enough to have a serious relationship, not even CLOSE to having a baby. If he has anger problems, that's his deal. Let him work it out on his own and once he is in control of the anger and doesn't let the anger control him, give it another shot and maybe he will be more mature and responsible. I know its hard, but its one of those decisions in life you just have to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMTACHE

I dated this Virgo man for 6 months, and we had a long distance relationship, but we saw each other a lot because we were both committed to make it work. In the beginning we were inseparable and after 3 months I got pregnant, but we decided to abort, we cried a lot over our decision. The truth is that I did not trust him, I did not know him enough and was afraid. After that abortion everything change for me and I became a very angry and hurt woman, very judgmental and rude, I was completely chemically imbalanced and had no idea how to act, so I kept on pushing him away, and he was always very kind, very present. With time I realized that he is very irresponsible and still immature, but I love him very much and am willing to work things out. About two months ago he was evicted from his place and the day he got the notice he called. I was very upset and brought an old issue that was completely off call, to the table, and he exploded. I said some mean and hurtful things. He hang up the phone on me and hasn't call back. I tried to call him many many times but he kept hanging up on my face, finally I called and his phone was disconnected, and now I have no idea where he could be. I am so sad. The thought of never see him again is unbearable and so often I cry in desperation. This is killing me. The truth is that I am hurt, and very disappointed. Do I deserve this? Is he just needing some space? Will he call me ever? Please help. And please be honest but kind with your answers, this is real life. Thank you

Oh my dear, I so hate when someone can evoke such pain in someone that so clearly loves them. The thing I'm seeing here is your "life after abortion" was never properly dealt with, those kind of major things take lots and lots of time and (frequently) real professional help. Clearly it threw you off in a major way and you should see that this is a true test of what kind of bond you have with this gentlemen. Even though he was very "nice" about it he should have made more of an effort to help you through that kind of transition. So now he's having a major life crisis, he was evicted... WHY was he evicted would be my first question, that should make you wonder how stable he's capable of being. Now it's easy for me (an outsider) to say to forget about him, but as a woman who's endured a few male disappearing acts... it's just not that easy. First, quit forgetting about YOU; really be honest about how you're feeling and where your life is going with OR without him. Second, try getting professional help in dealing with your abortion issues. Lastly, it's ALWAYS ALWAYS good to pray about it and seek help from God. I hope this helps you, change is never easy but perhaps his absence was the best thing for you.