Sexual assault recovery am I crazy??
About 6 months ago two men broke into my home. Long story short I was beaten by both and assaulted with an object by one of them. They have not been caught and from all appearances there doesn't seem to be an attempt to identify them. Despite a concussion, broken nose, stitches/staples in head and face, and deep cuts in my back I felt an overwhelming drive to immediately clean up my home (4 hrs after attack) and return to work within three days.
In the last 6 months I seem to be all over the place. I'm zoned out one minute flying into a rage the next. Everyone around me seem to be the motionless robots who don't care even those Ive known for years and considered close friends. Early on I would obsessively talk about it even when I didn't talk about it. I feel desperate to find anyone who will make me feel safe.
This led to a sexual encounter with an old friend in which I inexplicably blinked out for a considerable amount of time without realizing it. I feel like I need someone to just hold me and understand if only for a bit but everywhere I turn it's a cold callous avoidance which propels me into a rage and unbelievable sadness and loneliness.
Am I going crazy?? Its been 6 months when will I be me again if ever??