Ask Me Help Desk - Advice. Suggestions. Something please.

Hello, I am a 15 year old girl. Graduated from high school, I now work a part time job and go to college. I do not get along with my mother and stepfather and have a hard time trying to live with them. For a while I have been spending my pay checks on food for the household and paying bills when my mother can't. She has been married a year to my stepfather who is only 24 while she is 39. She is childish and my stepfather is also still a child. My stepfather doesn't have a job and my mother is on unemployment. I know I could have a better life elsewhere and my mother won't let me leave. I would go live with my father but I can't get my desired education at the college in the state he lives in. Also his house is filthy because they have 4-6 dogs they let roam the house and defecate and urinate everywhere. HIs Wife doesn't clean and her daughter who lives there is on drugs. I don't think either of the environments are stable. I have major depression and anxiety and I was abused for a year because my mother had a boyfriend who had anger issues. He was only 21 and also never had a job. My mother has multiple guys closer to my age in and out of the house often. I know she tries to be a mom but she's ruining me. I've been in an institute for a suicide attempt and if I have to live here much longer I'm afraid it may happen again. I need help. I don't know what to do. I've looked into emancipation but I don't have a good enough income to support myself. I'm stuck. What do I do?

You're 15 and in college? That's incredible, you must have skipped at least 2 grades to accomplish that, which is amazing in light of all the issues you're dealing with at home.

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My mother has multiple guys closer to my age in and out of the house often.

How does her new husband feel about this? Does he know? If you know than he must know too.

Do you have any other relatives that would be willing to take you, that are more suitable than your biological parents?

The fact is, you're 15. They will only emancipate you if you can support yourself, that means you have to make enough money to pay rent on a place, pay for food, clothing, your education, insurance, etc. etc. You can't do that part time, heck, if you're working for minimum wage you can't even do that working full time. No matter what you can't do it while you're going to college.

You've obviously worked hard to get where you are, and your home life hasn't affected your education, in fact you're excelling in that area. In three years you'll be legal to leave without permission. Just keep going to school, get good grades, get a degree, get a great job with that degree, and then leave. In the meantime just do what you've been doing to get to the point that you're in college at 15!

Alty is right, you have to keep hanging in there, and doing what you are doing. I mean you have already overcome a lot. Home may not be great but you do help keep a roof over YOUR head, and can look around, and save a few bucks for when you CAN leave. Actually you have come too far to quit now, or even worry about the dysfunctional people around you stopping you.

If you have no solid relatives around, then a teacher or counselor would be a good choice for a mentor, for guidance, and some support.

Young lady, your goals are a lot closer than you think, as hard as that is to believe... but believe it.

Agree with both. Although it's difficult you are on the right path.

Thank you for the support. I'm thankful, and it's something I really needed. Today I had an employee, she has experience with situations like this because of her previous career, she found some information. My grandparents are wonderful people who live closer to the college. They would love to take me in but I have to wait until I'm 16. Hopefully I'll be able to get emancipated with a roof over my head, and proof of my income. Even though it will be with help I believe exceptions can be made. I'll have to stick it out until my birthday but thankfully it's only a few months away.

I am very lucky. As a 15 year old I am able to make $10.00 an hour so my income isn't too shabby.

And my Stepfather does know, but when it comes to my Mother he isn't willing to speak up. It's her way or the highway and she can be very controlling. I don't think either of them knew what they were getting into. They have been together about a year now, but they met online, spoke for a month, and got married a week after he got here.

And yes. I had to work very hard to get where I am today. Honestly I had a lot of problems with the kids at school, closer to my age. They were cruel. I took summer school classes, and went to the school on weekends so I could graduate a lot quicker. Even though some people can still be cruel at the college, it really is a much better environment.

I want to thank you twice. You have helped me open my eyes, and you are right. If I just wait a little while longer and keep doing what I am doing life will get better. I'm glad you stopped by and took the time to reply to this. I was beginning to lose all hope.

I'm glad we could help, if not physically, at least to boost your spirit a bit.

Please keep us posted on what happens next, or post if you just need to vent. I have great hopes for you. You can do this, in fact, you already have! Keep it up kiddo, you're doing great.

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As a 15 year old I am able to make $10.00 an hour so my income isn't too shabby.

Maybe not for a 15 yr old, but its not great income.

But it is extremely rare for a 15 yr old to be in college. But assuming you are, I would talk to your college career counselor. They can probably help you deal with this or point you to someone who can. I don't believe emancipation is an answer for you, but I do believe there are answers available and someone at the college can help you find them.