About 2 months ago my boyfriend of 6mo ended our relationship because he felt he needed to be alone and couldn't be with anyone right now. He showed signs of depression a week before but I didn't see it until later. Everything happened so fast. Our relationship was truly solid, no problems. When he ended things he still called me honey, babe and said he still loved me.

A month later after I stopped by his house he said he still loved me, he never fell out of love with me. He said all this was not premeditated, that he felt himself pushing me away. He says he needs to do this and get through this himself, he knows how he can get. He was like this before with his divorce 15-20yrs ago. He says he can't be there emotionally for me. He says it isn't fair to me and that this may take 6mo-1yr and its not fair to me. He isn't specific with his answers to me when I ask things. Basically he doesn't tell me what he wants, good or bad.

He was liking things on my Facebook but no longer does after I asked him to stop and no longer calls me honey in texts because I also asked him to stop. I did because it hurt me, I regret it but expressed later that it was OK to like things on FB because at least I know he is thinking about me and it was OK to call me honey if that is how he feels about me. I asked him to see his doctor, he stated he was on enough meds. Long story short he said he would and agreed to tell me when it was. He never did therefore never telling me. After that we went 3 weeks without contact. I tried to call him first, then followed it with a text saying "Just wanted to call and say hello. See how you were doing...That's all." He replied 3hours later with "I'm ok how are you?" I replied with "I'm ok as well, thank you for asking. I won't hold you up. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. I apologize if I bothered you." His reply "You didn't.. glad you text me. Good night"

We ended the beginning of December and the only time he initiated contact was on Christmas. My question... If he loves me (and I feel he is tying to protect me by ending our relationship), is the depression the reason he isn't initiating contact? He says he wants to stay in touch. But I am the one reaching out. I don't know if I should keep reaching out or does he really want me to go. I have asked him this and I don't get a answer. I don't know what to make of his silence. I don't want to be that girl that won't go away but yet I don't want to make the wrong decision. I feel he is keeping me at distance more for myself than himself. There is more but I can touch upon that later if needed. Any insight would be helpful.

Note: I believe this is a situational depression, he is retiring at 42yrs old and is overwhelmed and stressed with things surrounding it.

Honestly, I think that he isn't contacting you because he doesn't want to. He wants the benefits of a relationship without the work. He is using you as a crutch to deal with his issues, and using you for his own comfort. He doesn't seem to care how these mixed signals affect you and that they are incredibly confusing.

You seem to be interpreting these messages as a sign that he wants to continue the relationship, when they really appear to be the childish actions of an emotionally immature partner. When you have to decipher his every action to see if there is some meaning behind it, something is wrong. If he truly loved you, he would make your emotional and mental needs a priority as well. If he needs time and space to deal with his thing, then GIVE IT TO HIM, and step back from this relationship for your own mental and emotional well-being.

You have been dumped for 2 months and he hasn't changed so perhaps all he wants is a casual friendship with no commitment. I think he thinks he is being nice about it, but its up to you to leave him alone and take some healing time for yourself and top investing in any hope he changes his mind.

It doesn't matter what his personal issues are. You still have to accept the break up for what it is, for your own sake, not his. Sorry but you are just prolonging your own misery at this point.

Aww the poor guy.

He wants to be alone, and then turns it around to mean that that is the best thing- for you. Maybe a month, maybe six months, he doesn't know when he can tell you the truth and not keep you guessing if the relationship will happen, or not. He feels himself pulling away from you, and says he can't be there emotionally for you, but he doesn't know why, and doesn't want to hurt you.

He doesn't tell you what he wants, good or bad, and fails to answer the simplest of questions.

In any solid relationship, it is the strength of two people together, that solve problems, and work through anything that comes up- together. One does not run, with flimsy excuses, and fail to provide anything of substance to explain their behavior. To make things seem like they are incapable of communicating honestly, that they are no longer interested in a relationship, is cowardly, hurtful, and without respect to the other party, who is left hanging.

You have been under the impression that he is protecting you! Wake up and smell the coffee here.

Take your life back into your own hands, and stop playing into the whims of a dishonorable man, who is playing with your feelings. Don't let him control your life and keep you in limbo, waiting for something to happen. People in a loving, solid relationship, as I've said, don't run away, and leave their partner cold.

My advice to you is to take him off your Facebook, and take his number off your phone. Stop being available for this sorry excuse for a man, and get on with your life. You are wasting precious time waiting for him. Even if he comes back begging and crying, realize that to fall for his insincere behavior- again- will only land you in the same place.

You can do better.

It *almost* sounds like he has found someone else he is pursuing a relationship with but doesn't know where it will go and is keeping you in the wings, just in case it doesn't work out. Perhaps I'm cynical. OK. Then if it really is a medical condition of depression and he wants to get better, then he needs to go see a Dr. or a different Dr. or a different kind of Dr. until he gets the help he needs. If he can't take care of himself, then he sure can't be there for anyone else, including you.

He ended the relationship. Move on. Take care of yourself, emotionally and physically. If he doesn't want to keep you, fight for you, do what he needs to be with you, then he's not the one for you.

You deserve better. Create the life you want for yourself. When you find the right person to share it with, you will know it.