Ask Me Help Desk - I'm confuse and lost

I'm almost 15 and my parent shave been fighting for almost a year. Both of my parents have been remarried and my mum is about to have a baby. I already have 3 younger sister who look up to me and I can me more of a mother most of the time (in my eyes). Lately I feel like I'm unloved, I feel like my dad is only nice to me to get sex out of his wife and my mum rarely says I love you. When I tried to tell my mum how I feel I mentioned running away a few months ago and she stopped me and said "are we really talking about a few months ago Taylor". I went and cried and started to look for another home... foster care. I have cut before and my mother knows this and my dad is to blind to see anything wrong with me and I cant leave because I can't just leave me younger sisters alone and I'm scared to go to foster care in case my mum or dad get investigated. All I want is a time out and I have no where to go.all I want is for my mum to say she loves me and look even a little worried and for my dad to remember that family is more important then sex. But then again I do love them and they don't mean to make me feel like this. I'm just so confused at the moment.

Taylor, first, are you talking here about your new dad? If so, where is your bio dad? Do you spend any time at his house?
Second, you can't look for a foster home. Social services has to investigate, and determine that your parents are unfit. If so, they would take away ALL of you children. And foster homes are only occasionally loving. Most of them just want the extra money they get from the state, and it's not much, so you could find that you get nothing but meals and a roof over your head. From what you say here, there is no legal reason for the state to charge your parents with being unfit. And it costs a lot of money to put children in foster care. And finally, just about every teen in the world wishes they could run away at some time or another.

Most of us want to be told we are loved and many of us don't hear the words. I do feel for you, not having felt loved myself long ago. It is sad that you are in the role of being mother to your siblings. And when the baby comes, it might just be more so. Depending on where you live, you will be a legal adult in a few years (I know it seems like forever) and can leave. What are your plans for your life, if you have given this thought?

Rather than cut yourself and wish for something they aren't going to do, have a heart to heart talk with your mother. Try to see her as someone who has problems of her own. She apparently wasn't really prepared for having so many children and being a good mother, and that's the breaks for all of you. My mother made it clear that she wished she had had a career and NO children! At least I knew. Yes, you go out into the world feeling unloved. You struggle with that, finding an inner 'self' to love you as a substitute. You may find someday that your mother felt plenty of love for you, but there were obstacles and worries in the way. You may find this out in the heart to heart talk. Tell her that you plan to go out on your own and worry about her ability to get along without you. AND start working on your future! I wish I had done that. I know that at 15 most of us don't. But you really do have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

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I feel like my dad is only nice to me to get sex out of his wife

I really don't understand this part of your post. How is being nice to you, getting sex for your dad? I could see him getting sex by being nice to his new wife, but to you? That doesn't make sense.

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my mum rarely says I love you.

Rarely isn't never. My mom was of the old school belief that saying "I love you"all the time, meant nothing. Words are easy to say, showing someone you love them by what you do, how you act, means a lot more than words.

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I have cut before and my mother knows this and my dad is to blind to see anything wrong with me

This is a cry for help and if you're doing this it means mental issues that you cannot control on your own. You need mental help, may even hospitalization in a mental health facility.

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I'm scared to go to foster care in case my mum or dad get investigated.

You wouldn't be placed in foster care unless your parents were investigated and your home was found to be a danger to you and your siblings. In that case, if they did find that you're in an abusive home, or being sexually molested, mistreated, malnourished, etc. etc. you and your siblings would be removed from the home and placed in foster care.

You don't mention that your parents are abusive, or that you're being sexually abused, or that anything else is going wrong in the home. You do mention that your parents are fighting, and that you're not happy. That's not reason enough to remove you from the home.

I don't know enough to say with certainty what you should do. If I base my answer only on what you posted, and I'm sure that's not the whole story, I'd have to say that it sounds like you're the one with the issues, that you're depressed, unhappy, and need help dealing with that.