Ask Me Help Desk - Help! I want him back!

Well I dated this wonderful guy for two years (I'm 19). We were wonderful together, like best friends and all. The last month though we got on eachothers nerve and I broke it off almost two weeks ago, but he didn't want to so he told me to think about it and I did. One day later I went to see him to work things out, and he told me we did need to break up, but not "permanetely". He told me that he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. I know we need time to sort things out, I mean we saw each other everyday, we both need space. But I'm afraid he's not going to want me back. I'm not ready for this relationship to be over! He is really a great guy and I know I can do things diferently. As of now, I think we're on a breakish thing. I want to use this time to show him that we can have a really awesome thing again. We talk almost every night, except the last 2(both of which I spent mopping around!). And the last time I saw him was 3 days ago, he came over and I slept with him. Was that a mistake? I don't know what to do except not call him, and keep the pressure off him and have light happy conversations. I talk to his mom occasionally, she calls me and tells me she'll love me no matter what happens I even went out with her today. It sucks because I'm close with his family and I miss them. I want to give him space and all but I'm afraid of losing him for good! All he does lately is work like everyday from noon-11 at night! He doesn't even have time to miss me! What should I do? If there's anything.

There is a carpenters term "Measure twice and cut once" I think this term applies to not just wood but everyday life. You really need to think long and hard before mention the term break-up, divorce and/separate because mention will no doubt damage a relationship.

Now, I'm confused :confused: people are inventing new relationship phrases. We are on break or in your case breakish. There is no such thing! I'm sorry you are either dating or you are not. Now find out which one are you.

If you broken up, you need a clean break. You should have never slept with him that was a mistake. Technically, there is no need to miss you because you are not together only in title. If he called you tonight you would be OK if you two slept together.

You have to shut the relationship down but you can reboot.

Listen Im 27, Whatever It Is Get It Out Before You Get Back With Him, If He Is The One. 19 You Should Have Took A Weekend Trip To Spice It Up Or Something. Do That, Get A Nice Room With Room Service. Show Him That You Really Want Him And You Will See If He Really Wants You. Talking Eye To Eye With Honesty And Trust Is The Key To Anyone's Heart. Good Luck

When your on a 'break' sleeping with the person doesn't help. It just shows you two still lust for each other, and if he is a shallow guy, that he doesn't need to be committed to you to have sex.

If you want to show him whatever it is you want, then show him. Go on a date with him, don't be overly pushy with wanting to be with him. Don't have sex until you are committed. It will just cause more problems in the end.

Communicate with him. Say you want to take things slow. Then wait and see what he wants. Don't rush it.

Just my 2 cents

Quote:

Originally Posted by lnh814

Well I dated this wonderful guy for two years (i'm 19). We were wonderful together, like best friends and all. The last month though we got on eachothers nerve and i broke it off almost two weeks ago, but he didn't want to so he told me to think about it and i did. one day later i went to see him to work things out, and he told me we did need to break up, but not "permanetely". He told me that he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. I know we need time to sort things out, i mean we saw eachother everyday, we both need space. But i'm afraid he's not gonna want me back. I'm not ready for this relationship to be over! He is really a great guy and i know i can do things diferently. As of now, i think we're on a breakish thing. I want to use this time to show him that we can have a really awesome thing again. We talk almost everynight, except the last 2(both of which i spent mopping around!). And the last time i saw him was 3 days ago, he came over and i slept with him. Was that a mistake? I don't know what to do except not call him, and keep the presure off him and have light happy conversations. I talk to his mom occasionally, she calls me and tells me she'll love me no matter what happens I even went out with her today. It sucks because i'm close with his family and i miss them. I want to give him space and all but i'm afraid of loosing him for good! All he does lately is work like everyday from noon-11 at night! He doesn't even have time to miss me! What should i do? If there's anything.

Firstly what you should not do is sleep with him again because you will just be digging a deeper hole, because you will interpret sex as love, and become more confused... I know it's hard because you really love him but if you make it so easy why bare the downfalls of a relationship when sex is readily available. If you want to heal and you want him to consider that this relationship can work you must give him the space... Being close to mom can do one of two things, make him realize you are a great gal or it can annoy him.. it's very tricky in situations when the family feels one way about you and your partner feels a different way.. In order to be friends in the future you need to give him the space don't smother him, and when you have time alone, do things that make you smile.. You being with him everyday allowed you to become dependent on him, almost like a drug, you based your whole happiness on the relationship... If being together everyday didn't work for you obviously it didn't because it led you to break up with him, how about try the opposite, and give him time to think... Everyday will get better, I know it sounds cliché but it is the truth your first love is not your last romance... Just be patient, and in the meantime keep yourself busy you have to accept whatever decision he makes, respect it because you love him so much... and let him come back to you without the pressure.. GOOD LUCK... take it one day at a time...