Please forgive me for this message being too long, but sometimes I just need to rant and rave. And PLEASE forgive my spelling if I did not spell correctly. I have a spelling problem too.

I have a listening problem that never occurs when I'm around people EXCEPT when I'm with my own father. I mean, how impossible is that? I love my father so much but yet I really wish these parent child dilemas with him never happened.

Whenever someone, even my teachers, ask me to do something, I'm usually "Johnny-on-the-spot" with it and get it done, even when around my mother. But, when I'm with my father, it's a completely different story. When he tells me to do something or ask me a question, I end up not understanding what he's telling me, or I'll end up doing the wrong thing! It happens every time I see him.

So I try to convince him that I don't have this problem when he actually does think I do. And the other people in my life are literally defending me and arguing against him- even my teachers! They don't see that I have this listening problem yet my father is trying to convince them of THE problem. And the teachers reply "I don't see that! How dare you say that to my own student! He's one of my best students and you have no right as his father to mistreat him" And this is all my fault! My dad literally got thrown out of the committee at my school!

Okay, so my father even made a statement saying that if "I really do have a listening problem whenever I'm around him then maybe I'm doing it on purpose to **** him off" and I do not intentionally **** people off because I have very good intentions and I always try to do the right thing!
Dad tends to label me as someone who is a "flake", "unreliable", "disobedient", "someone who cannot manage "something about details, or whatever it is (that's not what my father really said)".
He always thinks I'm doing everything wrong! He mistreats me! He's mean to me almost all the time! He breaks my chops for no reason, even when I didn't do anything to make him break my balls! I'm totally innocent! I never try to do that! He left me and my mother when I was 10 years old!

Why is this happening to me? How did this problem happen in the first place! I don't know what it is and I don't know why it's happening!

I do not want any bad responses from anyone! I do not ask for any sympathy ( I never look for that-which my dad accuses me of doing all the time) nor do I want any complaints on how the very long context of this message. I need the most professional advice that you can give!

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a happy Kwanza, happy and blessed New Year!

"for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that everyone who believed in him will not perish"
-John 3:16


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Does your father speak clearly? Does he have a speech impediment that you may not notice because you've grown used to it, but still makes him hard for you to understand?

Obviously you can hear well, since you hear and understand what everyone else is saying to you. It seems like the issue is only with your father, which leads me to believe that the problem is with your father and his ability to communicate.

Do you live with your father or your mother? It sounds like your father is not good for your well being and mental health. Have you told your mother how he treats you? How old are you? How are you doing in school?

Bottom line, I think this is his issue, not yours, and I urge you not to let him bring you down.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Freue Weinachten, etc, to you as well. I hope that you overcome how your father treats you and continue to thrive despite him.

First, why is it a argument, and why are teachers envolved with a family issue. You should also merely admit there is a problem, ( why deny it to father, if it is happening?)

Next then if he tells you to do something, you repeat to him, what you think you heard. And confirm, it is what he wants.

Maybe you tune him out because you resent him, or its possible he is an unfair, mean man, or both! Bottom line is a failure to communicate, and a lot of drama over nothing! His reaction is over the top if he involves everyone else in this drama.

What does your mom say about this situation?

You mention the fact that he left you and your mother when you were 10, yet see no connection to that? You throw that in there like it's an afterthought.
I suspect that you are angry, plain and simple.
I won't suggest that you try to talk to him about that, because I doubt it will go anywhere at your age. But do talk to your mother about it. Talk to the teacher you like and trust the most. Talk to someone. Just going back over that time and maybe finding out more about why he left will be a little start towards understanding him as a person, not just a father. Not easy - I don't think I saw my parents as anything other than parents until I was well past my 30s.

How old are you now? What are your living arrangements between you and your father? All these are important factors in this situation.