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-   -   What shall I do if he's mad at me and ignoring me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=805090)

  • Nov 25, 2014, 12:13 PM
    kamenashi
    What shall I do if he's mad at me and ignoring me
    Hi,

    I(fobby asian) have dates with a guy (caucasian) these days and have one problem, please help me:

    Last weekend we watched movies at his place(its' our fifth dates), and after that we had a cuddle and he was trying to kiss my neck. As I don't want to do sexual things early, I covered my neck up. And after that he didn't let me touch him and sent me message that what I did was harsh and I was not a affectionate person. And I text him to explain and asked him to go out to have a drink so that I can explain face to face. However, he is just ignoring my message in this way: he didn't reply words but sent me few pictures(like what he was doing at that time). And not responded for the message I asked him out. I feel like that he don't want to go out and still gets mad.

    And it's the second time that he get mad at me for only 5 times dates.
    I feel so tired to keep explaining and waiting for his response and it distracts me from my own life. I don't like something he did as well, but I choose to be calm and try not to annoy him and communicate later instead of fight. I doubt that is he really interested in me?

    And Am I too traditional for western person? What shall I do?

    Thanks a lot for reading!
  • Nov 25, 2014, 12:24 PM
    Wondergirl
    Ignore him, and carry on with your daily business. You're tired of explaining, so stop trying. And no, you aren't too traditional. We Western girls/women go through this a lot too, until we find a guy who is respectful and patient. Keep searching. It doesn't sound this guy is one of those.
  • Nov 25, 2014, 12:34 PM
    catonsville
    Stand your "moral ground". This guy is just interested in scoring and not interested in a
    long term relationship. Move on and don't play his game, he is a gamer.
  • Nov 25, 2014, 12:38 PM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Ignore him, and carry on with your daily business. You're tired of explaining, so stop trying. And no, you aren't too traditional. We Western girls/women go through this a lot too, until we find a guy who is respectful and patient. Keep searching. It doesn't sound this guy is one of those.
    Thanks! It's good to know that it's not my problem. And just I am not lucky ：(
  • Nov 25, 2014, 12:44 PM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by catonsville View Post
    Stand your "moral ground". This guy is just interested in scoring and not interested in a
    long term relationship. Move on and don't play his game, he is a gamer.
    Thanks! That's what I am doubting too. If so, I feel so disappointed.
  • Nov 25, 2014, 01:08 PM
    talaniman
    Don't let his immaturity mess up your attitude. Be glad you found out after only 5 dates, and don't ignore the warning!
  • Nov 25, 2014, 01:14 PM
    tickle
    Yes, you are just fine, have no doubts. This man is a player, you will run into them from to time. Now you know how to handle them !
  • Nov 25, 2014, 02:09 PM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Don't let his immaturity mess up your attitude. Be glad you found out after only 5 dates, and don't ignore the warning!
    Thanks a lot!
  • Nov 25, 2014, 02:15 PM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    Yes, you are just fine, have no doubts. This man is a player, you will run into them from to time. Now you know how to handle them !
    Thanks a lot!
  • Nov 25, 2014, 04:42 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Nothing is wrong with you. He seems to have been after what's under your pants.
    Forget about him and hold on to your standards.
  • Nov 25, 2014, 11:51 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Different women have different limits, if you read here, you will see many have sex on first or second date, other do not.

    You are not too traditional, nor is he too loose, you are both just who you are, Dating is finding that right match. Also some issues can come from where you are meeting men,

    I doubt if you could be more traditional than my wife, During dating, we never had any physical contact in public, and no sex of course, till wedding was scheduled and we moved in together. Even now, the only public personal contact is holding hands

    You just have to find someone who will respect your boundries
  • Nov 26, 2014, 05:55 AM
    talaniman
    Its not even reasonable to get carried away by this fellow, and chase him down, or give him your heart after only 5 dates. Why compromise your own dignity, and self respect, for a stranger that rather play kid games, than communicate honestly, or be RESPECTFUL?

    He had his chance, so tread carefully of him, or anyone else in the future, who isn't even interested in putting his BEST foot forward to impress. He should be chasing you, NOT the other way around. Heck if you just have to have a white guy at least get a GOOD one.
  • Nov 26, 2014, 07:26 AM
    J_9
    You have only had 5 dates. 5 dates does not a relationship make.

    Move on and keep your dignity intact. You don't need to have any contact with a man who does not respect your morals and values.
  • Nov 26, 2014, 09:43 AM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Nothing is wrong with you. He seems to have been after what's under your pants.
    Forget about him and hold on to your standards.
    You are right! Thanks!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Different women have different limits, if you read here, you will see many have sex on first or second date, other do not.

    You are not too traditional, nor is he too loose, you are both just who you are, Dating is finding that right match. Also some issues can come from where you are meeting men,

    I doubt if you could be more traditional than my wife, During dating, we never had any physical contact in public, and no sex of course, till wedding was scheduled and we moved in together. Even now, the only public personal contact is holding hands

    You just have to find someone who will respect your boundries
    Thanks for your reply! That's true. Sometimes I thought it's culture difference but now I understand that it's personal difference.
  • Nov 26, 2014, 09:52 AM
    kamenashi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Its not even reasonable to get carried away by this fellow, and chase him down, or give him your heart after only 5 dates. Why compromise your own dignity, and self respect, for a stranger that rather play kid games, than communicate honestly, or be RESPECTFUL?

    He had his chance, so tread carefully of him, or anyone else in the future, who isn't even interested in putting his BEST foot forward to impress. He should be chasing you, NOT the other way around. Heck if you just have to have a white guy at least get a GOOD one.
    Yep, You are right. That's not reasonable and I am fed up. I have deleted his contact no though it's tough.

    And no, he is the first white guy I am interested in, and maybe the only one.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You have only had 5 dates. 5 dates does not a relationship make.

    Move on and keep your dignity intact. You don't need to have any contact with a man who does not respect your morals and values.
    Thanks!
  • Nov 26, 2014, 10:11 AM
    J_9
    Not all "white" guys are like this. They come from all colors and all nationalities. He's a player. Stop all contact and keep your dignity intact.

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