Hi,

I am a working mother with a two-year old daughter. My job requires me to travel abroad for around 4 months. Though I have said yes to the opportunity, I am not feeling comfortable with leaving her behind. She has stayed with her grandparents since her birth and her dad will also be around. Will she be fine when I am gone? Will I be okay not meeting her for so long? Will it affect my child emotionally? Will everything be fine :(

Are you married to the father of the child? That is going to be the most prominent thing your going to have to deal with. If your separate from the father of the child it could be grounds for a custody change.


That being said. In todays world of technology you have nothing to worry about as far as keeping in touch. Many programs allow for video conferencing and are free. All you need is an internet connection.

I imagine that cdad is referring to skype, which is an excellent way of communicating in real time when you are far away; of course we cant tell you if 'everything will be fine'. It is up to you to close the gaps as best you can and hope for the best.

I will add that skype is only one of dozens of programs, and that was not the question here, I find a few other programs better, in Asia several others are much more popular.

I have to say that in today's world and economy it takes a lot of pay the bills and jobs are important.

Will this be only one time, for 4 months, or will there be many other months and months you will be gone.

The legal question, as to if you are married to child's father is a serous one, since it could lead to a change of custody, if he takes you to court.

Is it possible to delay such a long absence until the child is older? Will you be in danger of losing your job if you don't go? During the four months you will be absent, are you allowed any time to fly home to visit?

It would be ideal if the absence could be modified to a shorter time.

If you absolutely have to go, daily contact, along with post cards, letters, phone calls, etc. would help. A child has no concept of 'work' or 'four months', they only know that you are not there. It's a very long time in the life of a 2 year old.

While it sounds like a wonderful opportunity to your career, there will probably be concerns you wouldn't have as much, if she were old enough to understand. At 2, she is dependent on the adults in her life, and you being #1.

It would be, in my opinion, that unless this trip is absolutely essential to keep your job, see if you can't postpone, or decline, until your daughter is older. Two weeks is one thing, four months is too long.

Hello All, Thanks for your replies. These were indeed helpful. Yes, we are a well knit family and my husband would take a break from his office and would be visiting me for 2 months. I will be away from the kid for around 2 months. She is used to staying with her grandparents when I am out to work and usually looks for me during the night time. That is my reason for worry actually. Thanks.