I took a drug test 10/29 for a job. My worries are I won't pass, I smoke in the month of April twice, Sept. Five days before that I was clean, I also was smoking with someone else so I didn't smoked the blunts by myself at no time & I'm not a frequent user at all. But I was told no matter what... whatever you have smoked goes back five years or more and they can detect everything ever smoked.
I haven't heard back from them yet. The test was done Wednesday and sent through fed ex to the lab @ 1:17pm.

My questions are, what's the odds of me passing? How long does it take for results?

That's an odd test. Most of the time they take about an inch and a half, or about 4cm, which goes back about 90 days, or 3 months. I believe I had read that most hair follicles live about seven years. That is hair that is about 3ft of hair. To test five or more years you would need at least 30 inches of hair. I have that but not many people I know have that. Who ever told you that is full of crap.

Second point. The hair test is meant to test for habitual use. What you've done doesn't sound like habitual use. When you smoke up the chemicals get into your blood and is, as your hair grows, deposited into your follicle. The same is done with some poisons, I had heard they'd tested Napelon's hair after he'd died and that he'd been slowly poisoning. Funky eh? What they do is pulverize your hair and do the test on it and decide if the amount of the chemicals they're testing for is above a certain cut off. Again this is to test for habitual use, so the cutoff tends to be high enough so that a few hits from a bong won't show up.

In conclusion, you should be fine.