Ask Me Help Desk - What is she thinking? Id love her back

Hi,

I'm new to this and I can't seem to find an answer within myself so would like advice.

It all started 4 years ago. I met a girl who was 17 at the time I was 21, and it was the old cliché love at first site. We were together for a year and then suddenly she left me. Now here is where the real story starts. After she left me, her best friend asked for my number, she got it from the girl who'd just left me because she said she didn't want me again. I dated her best friend for 9 months and just about totally forgot about my ex. At the end of the ninth month I received a call from my ex telling me her best friend/my girlfriend had cheated on me. I phoned my girl up she tried to deny it but I knew the truth and we parted. My ex became a close friend again. She told me she always loved me and hated being without me, we got back together a month later in dec 2004. We had a great relationship, never argued, everything was perfect,we had great holidays together, just me and her, great times and memories she really was my soulmate. We bought a house and moved in this year on 20th feb, then things started to change. She is now 21 and I'm 25. She lived in the house less than a month before she left me, she became depreesed I took her to get help but she didn't want pills or counseling she told me she wanted space away from me and her family. She left 2 live with a mutual friend, she told me she loved me and would be in touch. After a few days she came home but left again saying she 'couldnt handle it'. Like an idiot I kept trying to ring and text her, she's my world and I can't bear being apart. Like a fool I text her a week or so ago saying I needed to know where I stood and she replied by saying a break up would be for the best. We have a house I'm now living in alone, knowing this house was our future, every room bears a memory of her and I hate the lonliness there. Her mum dad and relatives are furious with her. Why has she done this? Now top top it off she is trying to see my best mate, not because she likes him, but for spite, and the thoughts run through my head of them 2 gether doing what we did with each other and my blood boils. I could kill him but I'm better than that, I have so much more than him and she knows this. This is the first day today I haven't contacted her but I so want to. She says she loves me and always will, she came back last time. I have a box full of cards and notes she used to leave me saying she can't wait 2 come home to me every night, that she can't wait for us 2 have a baby that she loves me and every day she loves me more and every day she sees me her belly turns. Whilst together we were perfect but since she's left she has turned nasty and tried to keep me danglin on a thread which she has succeeded at. Im clinging to the hope she'll come back. Will I get her back again? Someone put me out of my misery... Its only been a week since we split but every hour that passes seems like a year

If she's gone and she has not sent any letters for awhile she's probably not coming back or she's found someone new to go out with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rik32

We have a house im now living in alone, knowing this house was our future, every room bears a memory of her and i hate the lonliness there. He

Sell the house and move to a new place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rik32

r mum dad and relatives are furious with her. Why has she done this? Now top top it off she is trying to see my best mate, not because she likes him, but for spite, and the thoughts run thru my head of them 2 gether doing what we did with each other and my blood boils. I could kill him but im better than that, i have so much more than him n she knows this. This is the first day today i haven't contacted her but i so want to. She says she loves me and always will, she came back last time.

With all due respect, I know you love her but she obviously can’t be trusted. She left you before for somebody and is now doing it again, this time with your own friend. Maybe it’s revenge for when you did it with her friend all those years ago or maybe she’s just cruel. But she’s not exactly stable and you are so your not a match.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rik32

I have a box full of cards and notes she used to leave me saying she can't wait 2 come home 2 me every night, that she can't wait 4 us 2 have a baby that she loves me and every day she loves me more and every day she sees me her belly turns. Whilst together we were perfect but since shes left she has turned nasty and tried to keep me danglin on a thread which she has succeeded at. Im clinging to the hope she'll come back. Will i get her back again? Someone put me out of my misery........Its only been a week since we split but every hour that passes seems like a year

Well you said it. She’s purposely keeping you clinging to her. Not exactly the great person you thought she was. She’s using your own emotions against you. Cut off all contact now and let her think about it for awhile. Let her know you can’t be pushed around like that.

She may come back, she did once but I guess I would ask you why bother? She’ll wind up leaving you again and doing the same thing.

IVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION AND I PURSUED MY EX FOR A MONTH. THERE IS NO USE IN THAT IF the other person wishes to have a break the reason is normally they don't feel the same about you anymore t. Take my advice there is no use looking for answers or asking why if they do not feel it then they just don't. Ive been apart from her for 6 weeks and I still think about herv all the time its not an easy thing to deal with. I think of all the good times and how I should have been a bit more stronger and not as wussie and it may have worked.

She is going through something, who knows what because every women is different, but good that you saw your mistake that you were pushing her a little too much. The more you push the more she turns away, right now the best thing you can do is get out of that house, hang out with your friends and go around people, let her figure out herself. Shell call and tell you things but she's wishy washy don't get your hopes up too much. Your relationship is a bit fast paste getting a house so quick and she wanting a baby, she's rushing into things without thinking and though you must love her a lot, she isn't thinking things through and hurting you. Don't do that mental sucicide to yourself. Go outside, be around people and live your life. If its real love shell come around. Give her time and space and shell appreciate.
**LD**

Mate I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing at the moment. It is horrible. I believe the only thing that will help is time. We have no control over other people, their feelings, emotions or thoughts. I wish you only the best and you can get through this. It will be tough and it will hurt profusely. But you can do this. We are here to help you as best we can. Take care friend and remember you are not alone.

Hopefully he's still not in pain since this is over a year old.

Why are we responding to a thread that's over a year old? Anyone?

Dude for get about it! Everyone goes threw a heart break! Just don't be one on the news for killer her! Cause she don't know what's she want... no no no she playing you! You're the guy? That a (girl) want at the age of 25 and up cause there ready to settle down sh!T you ask me? You got a home! Your 25 sh!t homey! You are living every guys dream! Stay single go play have fun injoy life and be happy that a girl with bagass and take you as a fool broke up with you... WAKE UP!.

Thanks to the invention of the date I can tell this post is over a year old.