I want to spend more time with my mom but my parents recently went to court and my dad got custody of me and my sister. We get to see her two weekends out of the month. My parents can't communicate to save their lives. My mom is going on a vacation soon and my sister and I want to go with. She seems to think that if my dad says yes, we can go. My dad on the other hand said he has to ask his attorney and they said no. My dad lies a lot so I'm not sure if I should believe him. My question is if my dad gives me and my sister permission are we allowed to go or will one of my parents get into trouble with the law?

It really depends on the visitation in place, and from what you've written, your mom has visitation, and your dad has full custody. There's a reason for that.

It really does depend on where you live, and the arrangements in place. For instance, if you mom has supervised visits she couldn't just take you on vacation even if your dad agrees.

There's more to it than your dad agreeing, you wanting to go, and what your mom wants. This is now in the hands of the court.

I'd talk to your dad first, and ask him to find out if this is possible legally.

Sure it is ok for you to go if your dad allows it because of it being on his court ordered time for custody. The reason for court ordered custody is to provide a method of guarantee to a parent of visitation. But both parents car vary that to what they agree on. In this situation what is really needed is to have documentation for the extended visitation. That's all that is needed to show everyone agrees.


Ultimately your dad has the final say in all this. Depending on where the "vacation" is taking place it may not serve his best interest to allow you to go. It is sad but parental kidnapping happens every day.

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... She seems to think that if my dad says yes, we can go. My dad on the other hand said he has to ask his attorney and they said no. My dad lies a lot so I'm not sure if I should believe him. My question is if my dad gives me and my sister permission are we allowed to go or will one of my parents get into trouble with the law?

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Your mom was correct; it was up to your dad. However either

• His attorney advised him that, while he certainly could approve the trip, it would not be in his legal interests to do so; or
• Your dad is using his attorney's word as an excuse, rather than admitting that his (your dad's) decision is "no".

And no, neither parent would get in "trouble with the law" were they to both agree.

There can be many reasons for your dad to say no, such as would you miss school, how long and who pays what. How old are you and your sibling? How long has this arrangement after the divorce been in place? Seems to be more adult stuff going on than you may know of.

I mostly agree with AK. It is very unlikely that there is something in the custody order that would prohibit you from going if both parents agreed. But since we don't know what is in the custody order we can't be 100% sure.

If mom's visits are supervised, then if I were your father's attorney I would advise him no as well. By agreeing he basically is saying he doesn't think supervised visits are needed.

But I think AK is right, that he is more likely making the attorney the bad guy rather than himself.

If I were you, I would go to dad with your sister and tell him that you love both him and mom, but as young girls you need to spend time with mom and this vacation is a good time. Ask him to explain why he or the lawyer says you can't go.

Normally there is a reason, why one parent gets the children, so there may be issues you are not aware of

Yes, if there has been some heated court fighting, you dad may not want to give in on anything, without talking to his attorney. Dad most likely does not trust mother, to bring you back perhaps.

But Dad has to say yes if you are to go