Hi, I'm Clarissa I'm new to help desk. What made me want to try it is the fact my entire family is trying to drive me insane and my life is dramatically crumbling down hill and beyond and is killing me. I'm 19 just moved from a different state to my family's home. I have no job yet, but searching. I have no money to eat or afford things for myself or have a car. I ask my mother to please drive me to go and look for a job and fill out applications but she says to walk but the mall and stores are 20-30 minutes away by car.

Everyone in my house argues 24/7. My brother beats me up everyday and my mom and just accepts it. I have no friends since they all moved away. I have a boyfriend of 4 years. I recently moved in with him to show how much I love him but it all went out the window. Our relationship is on thin ice ever since I did the favor by moving in. I cooked cleaned did everything I could but nothing's enough and keeps threatening to end it with me, when I went the long yard for him many times. He wants me to leave him but when I try to he doesn't want me to leave. My family keeps pushing me to live with him again so I'm out of my family's house but I don't want to live with him, or they want me on the street.

I'm hungry with no money, my family, and boyfriend argues and emotionally abuses me. I have 0 freedom I sometimes want to scream for help. I have no where to go, or money to take care of myself, so they use that against me to treat me however they like. Yet they don't want me to get a job cause that'll take their power away.

Someone please help me. I'm an overly controlled 19 year old. I'm not allowed to have friends over, meet friends, go out anywhere, or get a job, but I need help desperately. I don't know 1 person that will help me. My whole family wants me gone and give away my dog and move out. What should I do? Please and thank you!

What do you do at home all day? Do you help with housecleaning, cooking, laundry? And why did you move back home?

Call any local shelter or organization who helps women in need, like single mother etc etc. and see what they can do. But be careful and definitely ask people and read reviews of that organization whoever you choose to go to. Let us know what happens.

I stay home all day and re read books I already have , baby sit my brother and help around the house and that's it

It's time to grow up. Maybe too soon, but it is time to grow up, and take care of your own business, and forge your own life.

Go and visit the local social assistance offices, or a women's help center, or a shelter, church, shelter, etc. Find a place to stay where you will be given assistance, and guidance in how to get your life together- ON YOU OWN- without having the influences you say that prevent you from doing that.

If there is a university or college nearby, visit their schools, and seek out student services/and/or guidance departments. They offer a wealth of information and assistance with local associations that can assist you.

Visit your family doctor if you can, and explain what is going on, and that you need help. Clearly you do. He/she too, will be able to offer direction.

If you have relatives, seek their assistance as well, temporarily, until you can find a place, and make a plan.

I don't see that you have any other options.

Ok I guess il give that a try thank u precious7 !

Sorry to say this.. but you are an adult... if you want freedom, get a job and rent your own place. The thankful they even let you stay there at all, they really don't have to and some family's wouldn't let you. Money and new stuff is also on you.

I also hate to say this but you are 19... and just moved to your family's place? Exactly where was you living for the last 19 years? Sound like you left in a huff MAYBE a year ago (not a lot more) and burned a lot of bridges doing it to be with Mr. Wonderful. Who turned out to be not so wonderful. Its even worse if you took off before you graduated high school to do it.

I see an incredible amount of drama on your part. And it sounds like you are emotionally a lot younger than 19. Be thankful you have a place to stay, be thankful you have food to eat.

You mother isn't a personal taxi service and it sounds like you are a demanding and feeling entitled to handouts as it seems in what you wrote, which would make them react that way.

If you have no money give up your dog... they take money to feed and care for, something YOU can't provide. As much as I love dogs... you aren't in any position to burden THEM with it.

Sorry... take the bus. There must be a bus to take if there is a mall. Do you think a mall job is going to let you pay the rent, AND buy a car to travel that far... OR pay for a bus each day?

Sorry TWO big things you NEED to do... drop the drama queen act. Its annoying for a 16 year old to do it... and NO adult on the planet has an excuse for it... it puts EVERYONE off around you. Obviously even your family.

So clarify this for us so we understand the backstory here better. You ran away from home to be with him? Am I right? Your parents objected back then but you did it anyway? Correct? It sounds like they are trying to teach you the most basic fact of life being an adult. Everyone must live with the consequences of their decisions they make. You can't keep running back home to mommy and daddy and expect everything to be forgotten.

Its YOUR job to find a way to get to interviews and make applications... not your moms. Ride a bicycle there if you have to.

I once had to ride a bike 20 miles to work, and 20 miles home after work... and I had to do that several months in my LATE 20's. Because my car was broke, and so was my motorcycle and I was waiting on parts to be shipped from the United States. I did it when it was hot, I did it when it was raining, I did it when it was dark too on a rotating shift.

As an adult you do what you have to do... (as long as breaking the law isn't part of it).

Sorry if that sounds harsh....but that life as an adult....we have to do what we have to do...and many times we aren't going to like it. I've been hungry, I've been without a job or money before. There are options other than handouts and imposing on others.

Jake2008 that all sounds great il do my best thank you I don't know why I haven't thought of that I do have to get everything all together and ASAP before things get don't worse so il try these suggestions and see how it goes thank u

Oh no my story is I been living at home all my life I been mistreated and abused by my mom so I moved out to live with my dad 2 years ago but has anger issues and I was informed I can't live with him due to him being dangerous to be around so I live with my mom and grand parents trying to get a job but I have no way of getting around I also haven't moved out until after I graduated my mother said If were serious me and my boyfriend move in together and I did and it didn't go well :(... I never had much help I had to sell all my things my bed my furniture when I was younger I sold things so I can save money for later but my mom wanted it to buy things my mom never worked for 10 years so I said I will no problem but she wants me to walk to the places which is impossible sighhh 😪

Thanks for the back story.. it does help us better understand what was going on. Since we see dozens of girls (and boys) that run off to be together(because they think they are in love) So many that absent a backstory its easy to assume that.


Did you have a paying job when you were with your boyfriend? If so you can file for unemployment if you worked long enough and didn't quit the job voluntarily.

Are there any women's shelters in your area?

I think that sometimes when so many things go wrong, and keep going wrong, it is hard not to feel like you're drowning in it.

But, each step you take to take control of your own life, you will gain confidence and direction.

I hope you keep your resolve to improve your life, and I wish you all the best in your future.