I want to throw her off a cliff and catch her at the bottom
As you're reading this, I bet you are kind, and experienced. I know this is a lot to take in, but I went in to detail to clarify my situation. Please help, this is serious :)
To begin with, I'm 19, I studied sociology/psychology for a few years(so I don't have a flexible opinion, everything I say I believe to be the one and only truth, and I have experience and knowledge to back my opinion up) , I studied voluntarily. I always was a party guy but I rarely liked people(no values, sluts, douches, players, damaged girls, gold diggers, or boring introverts(no judgement, just not for me) . I have very strong sense of values, I'm friendly, assertive, intelligent, very outgoing.
Here's the deal, I always wanted a girl who's outgoing, but not slutty, who's intelligent, but not boring... And that's very hard to find, In my situation they are either too active sexually (4-10 partners at 14-18 years -- outgoing and slutty) or they are so boring with no sense of humor (no sex partners and has values --- boring but have values)...
Since I'm outgoing, I was desperate for a girlfriend, I rejected at least 15 girls, at least 5 of them wanted to have sex(they said so, drunk or best friend) and 4 months ago, I finally found a girl (she's 2 years younger).
She has values, she doesn't want me to pay for everything, friendly, outgoing, smart, pretty, great sense of humor, loves me, cares for me, she's my 2nd girlfriend , but I can tell that she's the most amazing girl I've ever met -- full package, and I'm afraid to lose her, also, as years pass, there will be no good girls left, and where I live this feeling is the truth. I don't want damaged goods but I want my current girlfriend.
The deal is, she's the full package, but she's damaged goods, she lost virginity at 14, and she was dumped for another soon after, afterwards she had sex with 5 more guys since we met(2 years later) most guys were one night stands or "friends". Few months before we met she was sending nudes to a few guys from other cities, she was so nasty saying she wants to have sex and stuff don't get me going. From my point of view she's a slut, of course there is a reason, she was dumped, angry , lost , innocent, so I forgave her and stayed with her, because she's changed(sincerely believe that). I have her Facebook , she's so constantly hit on, and many people know of her reputation(I live in a city, where's maybe 80 thousand people, and maybe only 20% of them are teenagers... Lithuania -- 2.5 million people overall)
BUT... She's constantly hit on, and she was keeping in contact with one of her sexting friends, I caught her, she says "they we're just chatting as friends" about sex of course... but she did tell him to lose all hope(before I noticed the chat) so I forgave.
Afterwards , her best friend, whom she met 3 days after we started a relationship, was hitting on her so bad, hearts, kisses, telling her to dump me, and she replied with the same, about dumping me and stuff, of course I found out every little message, and she said "We're just joking" , weird, but us teenagers do have no sense of boundaries, I also did this deed, and was hit on hard by my all previous best female friends, but I was only joking , unlike them(guys hit on girls by "being overly friendly", and it usually works). But I forgave her anyway.
Now, she's still chatting with this guy, he's a player, my friends want to beat him up because he went after their girlfriends as well, he even admitted to hit on them and my girlfriend, but she still says that he's her best friend and I should leave it alone and trust her.
I know if I bug her about it I will ruin our relationship, If I don't , I will go insane, I want to throw her off a cliff, and catch her at the bottom.
Conclusion to clarify : I want a moral relationship, true, pure love --- happy life, my girlfriend offers that, but she has a history with men, and she's constantly hit on, but she refuses to admit that and still chats with others. Knowing her history, she has a tendency to fall for those players who just pretend 'till they get close enough to use her(I'm the best player there is, joking of course, but I have friends(male/female) whom I discuss about everything, I know a lot about this), all her one night stands started with "friends" and she fell for them since she's young and stupid, she changed now, but she still falls for the same trap, and I find it VERY HARD to trust her, I want her to stop, but she won't, She warned me if touch this subject one more time we're through, just by saying anything about this I make her cry and she starts calling me a psychopath because I don't trust her, I know I should, but she should stop doing this too.
P.P.S. She's loyal , that's a fact, I want her to stop letting guys hit on her, and cut off any potential threats. So what should I do? What's your opinion about my situation? What would you do? Thank you in advance, anything will help ^.^
Moral : We all make assumptions, but don't assume you're right, talking is always the best solution.
Don't be judgmental, nobody likes that, neither do we.
Forget the past, if you look back for too long while moving along the road of your life, you may hit a tree.
Be the hero of your own movie, do the thing, that a hero would do in your place, stay confident, work , and you will succeed.
I have trust issues, and I am right to have them. But because I see it that way, doesn't mean it is that way.
Thank you all for your time :)
