My girlfriend of five years left me for another man. She came back, we spent a night together. She left that guy and is with another. I have avoided her and had zero contact.

Two days ago she came for coffee and told me She still loves me but likes her current boyfriend. I think he is a rebound and the feelings she has are forced.
I told her to take a break from me and him and decide for herself what she wants. Financially he is very well off I am not. She said she would let me know what she wanted but I saw them together the other day.

Am I wasting my time?

Of course you are wasting your time. Cant you see the writing on the wall ?

You sure are wasting your time my friend, as she isn't confused at all, or forcing anything. She just likes the freedom of seeing who she wants, when she wants, and that includes you also. It doesn't matter whether you agree with how she conducts herself or why, but whether you can accept it for what it is.

I doubt she comes back to you on YOUR terms, so if you cannot deal with it, be grateful for the 5 years you had, and move on as she obviously has done. It's a waste of time thinking she will come back to her "senses", and give up the life she is enjoying, to go back to the life that YOU enjoyed. Get a life that YOU enjoy without her as your exclusive girlfriend.

That's simply not what she wants now no matter how you feel about it.

She sounds like a child. And you are helping her with that because she knows she can have you and have others besides you. Why settle for someone that does that? From what I have seen, once a cheater always a cheater. Do you really want this relationship to develop knowing you can't ever trust that she will be there tomorrow? Move on.

She's got it made....she can go to anyone she wants and if that doesn't work out for her, she knows she can come right back to you.

You need to wake up and realize that you are being played. Cut off all contact with her...don't meet her. Don't talk to her. Don't text her. Tell her it's over, you're done being used, and then end it.

I thought you said you were in No Contact. No Contact doesn't mean having coffee. It means she is out of your life for good.

My ex says she loves me but cant decide if she wants me or her new boyfriend
I love her but don't know if the love is driving me or fear..
I feel like telling her to move on with her new man.she was with me for five years and him a month but broke it off with me 2weeks before she met him.
If I do tell her to move on do you think it will make it easier for her to move on or attract her to me more

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Originally Posted by phill1234

My girlfriend of five years left me for another man. She came back, we spent a night together. She left that guy and is with another. I have avoided her and had zero contact.

Two days ago she came for coffee and told me She still loves me but likes her current boyfriend. I think he is a rebound and the feelings she has are forced.
I told her to take a break from me and him and decide for herself what she wants. Financially he is very well off I am not. She said she would let me know what she wanted but I saw them together the other day.

Am I wasting my time?

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Yes. There are people, and I believe this woman is one of them, who likes to keep her options open and are basically trying on different men until she finds the right fit. When she finds one close she keeps him strung along until she decides it is the best or until something better is seen.

You're wasting your time, and she's emotionally using you. Go back to the no contact. Block numbers, and delete/block form Facebook.

She is a player. You are her safety net when this guy dumps her. Then she'll find another guy and string you along until that guy dumps her. Do you see a pattern?

Whatever happened to no contact?

Oy vey.

Then take her back and maybe you will learn your lesson when she comes back from the 158th guy.

Or put on your big boy pants and tell her you are done, and then actually be done this time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by phill1234

My ex says she loves me but cant decide if she wants me or her new boyfriend
I love her but don't know if the love is driving me or fear..
I feel like telling her to move on with her new man.she was with me for five years and him a month but broke it off with me 2weeks before she met him.
If I do tell her to move on do you think it will make it easier for her to move on or attract her to me more

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by phill1234

My ex says she loves me but cant decide if she wants me or her new boyfriend
I love her but don't know if the love is driving me or fear..
I feel like telling her to move on with her new man.she was with me for five years and him a month but broke it off with me 2weeks before she met him.
If I do tell her to move on do you think it will make it easier for her to move on or attract her to me more

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It doesn't matter what she does. All that matters is what YOU do... for yourself. Because you think she is "confused" why should you be?

Take your dignity and self respect back because this isn't love anymore, because she has moved on and you haven't.

She is not ready for a serious relationship... she is still in the dating mode and discovering what she wants and doesn't want. She may still be there for years to come, who knows.

If you want to be in a serious, monogamous relationship now, look elsewhere. You want to be with someone who actually knows that they want to be with you; who isn't still trying to figure it out.

Wasting your time is very apparent. Any woman that leaves you for someone else and keeps you as a back up is definitely a waste of time. You deserve someone who values you.