A Walking Economy

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

The friend asks, "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"





Dangerous Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."





Surfin' the Net

So I think I'm in the clear
The boss is no where in sight
I logon to the web and start to surf
And then my hair stands up with fright

The footsteps coming down the hall
Are quickening in pace
There is no time to exit
No way to save my face

So I press the power button
And relax just a bit
There is no way he can tell
Exactly what I hit

I act all surprised
Don't know why my machine died
"simply unpredictable these
computers are!" I cried

"So we'll get you a new one
a computer that won't crash" he exclaims
Do you think he'll wonder
When the new one acts the same?





For The Kids...

What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
Cold cream!

What game do cows play at parties?
Moosical chairs!

Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle?
Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make!

Why was the lamb told off for being rude?
He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum!




Actually I had so many humorous emails, but since they were naughty by nature I can only share the ones that are family safe. :eek: :D