Can anyone help? I have been in relationship with my girlfriend for a while. We are both divorced. Our relationship has got really serious. She has told me she loves me, wants to move in together, and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I had slight reservations about moving in together as I have a young daughter and don't want people coming in and out of her life all the time as I have her 3/4 days and nights per week.

I have constantly pushed the question and asked "are you sure this is what you want?" and she has told me she is 100% sure she wants me and everything that comes with me. Which is great as we were both so in love with each other.

She would stay with me day and night when I didn't have my daughter. Everything seemed perfect, we even talked about having children. Then the other night she stayed over as normal. She told me how much she wanted this and me, and I was her everything, and she loved me. Next morning she got up went to work as normal. Later that morning I got a text saying it was over and she didn't want to see me anymore! I went to see her that afternoon and she said she was sorry. She just had a wobble would I forgive her? "All I thought was back to normal". Later that day I got another text saying don't ever come to the house again, don't text me, don't contact me anymore, and a text saying "I'm not pregnant"!

She has shut me out of her life completely, she ignores every bit of contact I try to make. What have I done so wrong? A few things I did know was that her so called period was very early this time and she's never early, and when I went to see her she had a lot of tummy pains. Can anyone help, as I'm total confused as to why she loved me 1 minute, and now she hates me.

Thanks

I don't know how we would know what she's thinking!

I will say this: I think it's admirable that you put your child first. I do think, reading between the lines, that you may not know what your girlfriend is feeling a lot of the time, and that may have something to do with this sudden change. Her 'so called period?' What do you mean? A period is a period. And you went to see her after she told you not to contact her at all? Why did you?
It's possible that she just had waited long enough and decided to go cold turkey. Maybe a friend told her it would never happen. Maybe her clock is ticking and she wants a baby now. Maybe she met a new possible romance.
I would have written her a letter. Yup, an old fashioned letter. Do you want her to move in more than losing her? Is your daughter ready to know how involved you are (or were)? It would have been a good idea to introduce her into the house overnight once a week for a bit and told your daughter that it was going to be full time, and find out how she felt. And observe how they interact. And get a sense of any resentment by either one. Will your gf be able to give as much love to your daughter as she will to a baby of hers? You don't say how long you were together! Or how old your daughter is!

Write that letter. Say what you are willing to do, if you are willing. Buy some flowers. Have them delivered.
If you just want her back the way things were, don't contact her at all.

I don't know what your definition of a "while" is but obviously her words and actions aren't matching, or her period makes her a NUT! Or even more probably you are caught in lust with a stranger and in denial about her true nature. Much more to learn if she let's you. What you never dated and fell for a NUT?

They are confusing but you better give her what she asked for whether you understand or not, OR she is confusing to you. Maybe she has many WOBBLES, regularly. See if she can talk rationally after her latest WOBBLE, but keep her away from your daughter in the meantime. IF she has a change of heart after this mood swing.

Couples get along great in the dating stage, love is easy. When the lust fades and reality takes over, as it always does, it gets difficult, complicated, and CONFUSING.

Do as she has asked, leave her alone. That's not confusing at all.

Move on... if she acts like this much of a nut now... imagine how bad its going to get later if she lived with you (keep in mind she quickly becomes a tenant if its your place and you can't just change the locks)or even worse, got married to you.

How long is "awhile" for you? Pay attention to the red flags that are flying all over the place.

If she had told you that she was having second thoughts, that she wasn't sure that she was ready to be so serious after all, or something to that extent, that would be one thing. To text you, twice no less, to stay away from her, that she doesn't ever want to see you again, and then ignores you for no apparent reason is just not rational. Even more so after recently telling you that you were her everything and how much she wanted to be with you.

If you are absolutely certain everything was normal when she left, something is going on that doesn't make any sense. There likely is more to her on and off behaviour than you are aware of. She may have some things going on emotionally that she hasn't shared with you.

Do not have her move in, and certainly don't marry her unless this gets sorted out and you have some answers that are satisfactory to you.

Again, continue to put your daughter first and that includes the type of people that you have around her. You may love this woman, but you may come to realise that she is not a good partner for you or a good role model for your daughter.

You said, she texted you that she is not pregnant. Did u asked her whether she is or not? If she said that by herself without even asking does it mean that she is pregnant and want you to know indirectly. Just guessing!

I think you were wise to put the relationship in a holding pattern, before allowing her to move in. Obviously that was a good choice.

Consider yourself lucky that she did not move in.

Instinct tells me that she was looking for far more than you were ready to give. She pushed her needs and wants on you, and you held your ground, because you were unsure. Because she didn't get what she wanted, she dropped you. She will move on to the next man to try her luck again.

I don't know how long 'for a while' is, as you described how long the relationship had been going on, but, I don't think you saw, in the beginning, that you were probably being used.

I say that because she just turned that tap on, clearly mapping her future with you (moving in, etc.), and then when you rightly shut that tap off, she offered no explanation for dumping you; just completely shut you down.

Who knows what her motivation was- perhaps she was trying to get pregnant to force the relationship, who knows. Maybe she wanted a solid relationship, and then planned to seal it with a baby.

Either way, you've dodged a bullet. Count yourself lucky, and move on.

Thanks all its nice to hear other peoples views, looking back I can see I've had a lucky escape, just had a bad feeling she was going to knock on my door in a few months time and say I'm pregnant as she was acting so strange!

Such is the chance one takes when banging someone they really don't know all that well. And it takes a number of years to really get to know what a person is really like.