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-   -   Unwanted Child (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=802856)

  • Oct 12, 2014, 09:45 PM
    megami8elie
    Unwanted Child
    I'm 7 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend is threatening me about using his last name. He wanted me to get an abortion but I didn't. I told him I'll keep the baby and give them a life. He said if I chose to use his last name, he will now stop communicating with me regarding with my pregnancy. Or if I don't use his last name he'll still could communicate with me and visit the baby but only once. He's scared that the state will force him to pay child support. Yes, he's an army-based in Anchorage, Alaska, he's 21 and I'm 28. I really don't know what to do. But I'm solid on my decision to keep the baby. Please help me.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 09:58 PM
    odinn7
    Last name or not...if it's his baby, you go after him for support. The baby does not need his last name for you to get support from him.

    To be honest, he sounds like a real a-hole....I hope you go after him for support.
  • Oct 12, 2014, 10:15 PM
    megami8elie
    @Odinn7 Thank you! I will go after him even if he said he's poor and only getting small pay.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 04:43 AM
    ScottGem
    First, the US armed forces frowns on deadbeat dads. So yes you go after him for support. The state (and the Feds) WILL require that he pay support, but it will be based mostly on his income.

    Whether you choose to give the child his last name or not is up to you. You can still list him as the father when you fill out the paperwork in the hospital without giving the child his last name.

    Whether he wants to be a part of the child's life or not is his choice. But helping to support the child financially is not.

    Clearly this is an immature person. I wonder why you got involved with him.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 06:54 AM
    AK lawyer
    When the baby is born contact the Child Support Services Division about requiring him to pay child support.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 09:06 AM
    catonsville
    He may have small pay but it was not his finances, that got him in trouble. His other head is as dumb as the one on his shoulders. Make him pay regardless. He did the crime do the time. 18 years min.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 10:58 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by catonsville
    ... He did the crime do the time. 18 years min.

    Figuratively, of course. Fathering a child is not really a crime (not in this case anyway). Both parents are to blame for this irresponsible behavior. But he will be required to pay child support until the child is no longer a minor (or adopted).
  • Oct 13, 2014, 11:13 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    ... Whether you choose to give the child his last name or not is up to you. You can still list him as the father when you fill out the paperwork in the hospital without giving the child his last name. ...
    I'm not sure that is correct (Although perhaps I should, because Alaska is my turf). But I believe OP may give the child any surname she chooses by putting it on the child's birth certificate. And she cannot have the father's name put on the birth certificate without an affidavit of paternity or court order.

    For example, say the putative father is named John Smith, the mother is Mary Jones, and the child is a boy, to be named "Bob". In such case, OP can name the child "Bob Smith", "Bob Jones", or even "Bob White", if OP wants. But the name of the father would be left blank.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 11:24 AM
    ScottGem
    You are correct, if the mother is unmarried, it will require a signed and witnessed Affidavit of Paternity to include the father on the birth certificate.
  • Oct 13, 2014, 08:42 PM
    megami8elie
    Thank you all for the advice. I asked him if he could be with me on my EDC and he said he will be deployed overseas. Is there any way he could use his emergency leave?
  • Oct 13, 2014, 09:03 PM
    J_9
    No. Birth of a baby is not considered an emergency. My son was in Iraq when his daughter was born.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 04:51 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by megami8elie View Post
    Thank you all for the advice. I asked him if he could be with me on my EDC and he said he will be deployed overseas. Is there any way he could use his emergency leave?

    I'm still wondering what you see in this jerk?
  • Oct 14, 2014, 07:22 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by QUOTE
    I'm still wondering what you see in this jerk?

    I'm guessing that it's exactly the same things which motivated her decision to have sex with him.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 07:46 AM
    J_9
    Contrary to popular belief, you cannot give the child any last name you choose. Unless the father signs an Affidavit of Paternity, the child will have the mother's last name, unless the couple is legally married. Since he won't be at the birth, and will not be available to sign the Affidavit of Paternity right after the birth, the child will be given the mother's last name.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 10:21 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Contrary to popular belief, you cannot give the child any last name you choose. Unless the father signs an Affidavit of Paternity, the child will have the mother's last name, unless the couple is legally married. Since he won't be at the birth, and will not be available to sign the Affidavit of Paternity right after the birth, the child will be given the mother's last name.
    Unfortunately, neither the statutes dealing with birth certificates, nor the regulations on the same subject, address that point. So there is no way to verify this statement.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 11:15 AM
    megami8elie
    He's now talking with a girl on Facebook, not only he's a loser but a big-time cheater. From this day forward, I'm leaving him because of his immaturity and being an a*hole . I want to take revenge but it's not worth my time. Please don't let them know about this.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 12:26 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by megami8elie View Post
    Please don't let them know about this.

    We have no control over who can access this site. That's why we removed the identifying info and attached photo. If you don't want them to know, you shouldn't post such info.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 03:38 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Unfortunately, neither the statutes dealing with birth certificates, nor the regulations on the same subject, address that point. So there is no way to verify this statement.
    I will see if I can find it at work tonight. Unfortunately, the lady who does our birth certificates only works day shift.
  • Oct 14, 2014, 07:52 PM
    cdad
    Here is a sample PDF from Mn.

    It allows for ANY name to be given to the child.

    http://www.health.state.mn.us/divs/c...worksheets.pdf
  • Oct 14, 2014, 08:06 PM
    J_9
    This is for Tennessee.

    Quote:

    Based on TCA Section 68-3-305 and 36-2-304

    - the father's surname, or
    - the mother's maiden name, or
    - the mother's legal name, or
    a combination of the above.

    No other surnames can be used unless the parents have a court order to that effect.
    Again I am looking at the Vital Records Act, Section 68-3-305 in the Tennessee Code Annotated.

    Will the OP be giving birth in Alaska? If so, we can clear this up for her better as it appears this is a state specific law.

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