Please forgive my writing I have learning disabilities and my writing is bad I'm very sorry please don't judge me.

Good morning I have question. I'm married of 3 yrs. We are high school sweethearts since '97 been off and on. I have 4 yr old son during that time I was pregnant and he's not father of my son. Birth father choose not to be in his life. My husband knows that. He told me I want to be in your son's life so he can have father figure in his life. I said ok. He legally adopted him as his own.

My question is my son called his father grandpa and his step mom grandma. I never was okay for my son called them that because they are not his grandmother and grandpa. I told my husband I don't want him calling them that. What should I do? I'm not comfortable with it. I asked my husband how come you don't called your stepmom mom? He said cause she's not my mother, but why are you having my son calling them grandma and grandpa and they not blood related?

From the stepfamilies I know, the parents of the step parent are usually called grandma and grandpa, at least when the marriage takes place when the child(ren) is young. Sometimes older children, teens and young adults, might call them by their first name. Some families use a different term for grandparents, such as nana, poppa, etc.

Maybe come up with a different term that everyone is comfortable with as an option. Or determine why it bothers you to have another "grandma and grandpa" in your child's life.

When did your husbands stepmother come into his life? That can play a role in what he calls her.

I think you are being very unreasonable, selfish, and controlling.

Think of the people you have involved here over stupid names to call people, or not call people. And to force the issue!

What you DO have is an extended family, and obviously for your husband's parents 'step' or not, to even have your child call them 'grandparents', is truly, in my opinion, a GIFT. They care enough to want to be in the child's life, and to be closer than just 'people in his life that aren't blood'.

This is a child who will BENEFIT from having grandparents, and aunts and uncles, even if they aren't blood. Who cares! What possible harm can come from a child developing a loving, stable relationship with two 'grandparents' who love him...

When your child is old enough to realize that they aren't 'real' grandparents, they may choose to call them other names, but I'd bet my bottom dollar that they will not even consider that.

You really need to give your head a shake.

I totally agree with Jake and couldn't have said it any better.

Just curious... what does your son call your husband?

He adopted your child, this is his real son now

Your comment is not only selfish, but unreasonable. You owe your husband an apology.

Once adopted, he is the father, in fact, if you divorced, he could even file for custody.

But, they are all grandparents, and it is sad, you are trying to take this joy away.

My advice, shut up, let them be called that. And stop trying to destroy a great relationship

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

He adopted your child, this is his real son now

Your comment is not only selfish, but unreasonable. You owe your husband an apology.

Once adopted, he is the father, in fact, if you divorced, he could even file for custody.

But, they are all grandparents, and it is sad, you are trying to take this joy away.

My advice, shut up, let them be called that. And stop trying to destroy a great relationship

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Hello you don't know me who ever you are not mother r my father so don't tell me shut up
I really thought this sight about positive not negative I came had concern I just didn't understand
At all so don't.attack me and you don't know my life what I'm

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ischa23

Hello you don't know me who ever you are not mother r my father so don't tell me shut up
I really thought this sight about positive not negative I came here I had some concern I just didn't understand
At all so don't attack me and you don't know my life what I'm

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Going through in my marriage and me dealing with his family I.dont trust them around my son