Terror Alert Threats Escalated in Europe - By John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing.." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels...

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

The americans on the other hand have said the danger is now greater than 9/11 so that means that they are anticpating a large scale attack launched from Syria

snopes.com: Alert to Threats in 2013 Europe

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Originally Posted by NeedKarma

snopes.com: Alert to Threats in 2013 Europe

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Thanks for that karma these things always do the rounds and thanks for the acknowledgement that we terrorise the Brits more than ISIS our fast attack leaves them sprawling with their captain sent home for derelection. The G20 will be here in a few days so Tony, the budgee smugler from down under, Abbott is alarmed but not alert, or is that the other way around, we can never get these things straight because they want to talk the language of dills, a simple tie me kangaroo down sport would have been sufficient, 'nough said

the footy finals are on this weekend and the dills have security all over the place, like some arab understands it enough to think of bombing it, they can bomb Melbourne AFL if they want to

A problem is small until it is not . Last year they were a rag tag off-shoot of the so called "FSA" . Now they are over 31,000 strong and seemingly growing as exponentially as the Ebola plague in Liberia .

CIA: ISIS now has an estimated 31,000 fighters - The Week

Ebola threatens to destroy Sierra Leone and Liberia | Sci-Tech | DW.DE | 11.09.2014

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The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

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they are about to tell England to bugger off .

Aye, Jimmy, they want the sassinacs to go home but the scots haven't terrorised anyone since 1745. The scots have their ain tongue and want their ain land. ISIS is like a magnet sucking up muslims who want to confront and the idea of the caliphate appeals, former glories and all that, I can imagine that the thought of them terrorises Assard and Malaki and several other ME despots because their military forces are incompetent, little more than ceremonial posturing whereas ISIS has a plan, a simple plan, eliminate the enemy, a black flag with a black intent, it is fairly easy to explain this plan to the young and stupid. Why did they turn to Iraq, it is because the Syrian army is too strong for them, but a few thousand fighters in Iraq could quickly gain territory where they are not opposed, where the population is sympathetic

Why did they turn to Ir

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aq, it is because the Syrian army is too strong for them, but a few thousand fighters in Iraq could quickly gain territory where they are not opposed, where the population is sympathetic

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Think of the pipeline ...then it all makes sense why they want to control the land that the alternative to the Qatar-Turkey pipeline would go through.

You suggest they are pawns, but I think they are simpler than that, opportunists, they take over oil fields and do some simple nation building. It is easy to reroute a pipeline to leave Iraq out

You suggest they are pa Quote: wns, but I think they are simpler than that, opportunists, they take over oil fields and do some simple nation building. It is easy to reroute a pipeline to leave Iraq out I think they are true believers . But their funding comes from the Gulf states ,and they have a clear agenda to run their pipeline through Syria into Turkey. It is not so easy for the 12ers to run their alternative pipeline to Syria bypassing Iraq. They want it to go through Kurdistan and Northern Iraq . That explains ISIS attacks on both regions .

True believers, in what? Mayhem? This is what you get when you disturb established power structures, criminals, terrorists

True believers, in what?

Salafist jihadism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Tom that article doesn't suggest ISIS are part of that grouping, so I think you are drawing a long bow, even the Saudi don't like these people and they have been part of spreading extremist teachings.

the Saudis play a dual game. They want to be traditional monarchs ,but have made a devil's bargain with jihadistan. Make no mistake ,they may not like the Islamic State . But for now ,ISIS serves their interests and are their proxies .

There is always someone playing a double game in the middle east Tom but you are saying the Saudi are state sponsors of terrorism

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but you are saying the Saudi are state sponsors of terrorism?

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duh ;although it doesn't come officially from the regime ... financing comes from wealthy individuals in the regime ...with the kingdom giving it a nod and wink.

An oblique reference to OBL, we are aware that various saudi's have turned up in AQ

Some may wonder why we took the ISIS threat so seriously far from the conflict

Sydney Christian school targeted by death threats from 'Islamic State' flagged car

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-1...isbane/5752002

Terror alert to rise as two men arrested after Islamic bookshop raid

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-1...isbane/5752074

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Originally Posted by paraclete

Some may wonder why we took the ISIS threat so seriously far from the conflict

Sydney Christian school targeted by death threats from 'Islamic State' flagged car

Anti-terror operation in Sydney and Brisbane 'thwarted' beheading plot - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Terror alert to rise as two men arrested after Islamic bookshop raid

Live blog: Senior Australian in Islamic State 'ordered kidnappings and beheadings in Sydney and Brisbane' - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

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good job . When the US broke up terror plots during the Presidency of GW Bush ,the lefties used to dismiss the plot as insignificant . I will not be so cynical . This proves that the Islamic State is the international threat we think they are .

Sec State 'Lurch' JF Kerrry has identified the real reason we should take on the Islamic State... (are your ready ? ) ..... because they don't offer health care !

Kerry to Code Pink: ‘ISIL is Killing and Raping and Mutilating Women’ | CNS News

That's one of the many things he said. Saying that he stated that he "has identified the real reason we should take on the Islamic State... (are your ready ? ) ..... because they don't offer health care ! " is a total falsehood. Did you even read the article?

sure did ;and watched the video too . Here is the relevent passage :

“I respect the right of Code Pink to protest and to use that right,” he said. “But you know what, I also know something about Code Pink. Code Pink was started by a woman, and women, who were opposed to war but who also thought that the government’s job was to take care of people. And to give them health care and education and good jobs.”
“And if that’s what you believe in — and I believe it is — then you ought to care about fighting ISIL,” “Because ISIL is killing and raping and mutilating women. They believe women shouldn’t have an education. They sell off girls to be sex slaves to jihadists. . . . And they’re not offering anyone health care of any kind. They’re not offering anyone education of any kind.”

Maybe the beheaded can apply for coverage on the exchanges. Or maybe the Code Pinko's can volunteer to stand as human shields for the Islamic State.