Hello, thanks for reading this. Me and my ex had a very confusing separation, with her coming back from a month-long vacation, us hanging out for one day, then her deciding she no longer wanted to be with me. She messed around with my feelings for a week before I finally got a call out of her, and in short, I was trying hard to get her to try to fix it but she simply repeated that she was confused and basically just gave up. So I didn't talk to her for a while, then sent her a letter about a month later telling her I still care and always will. She called me, and told me how confused and insane the letter felt and bringing the stuff up was, so I told her I was sorry, it's all true, and unlike what you asked for we cannot be friends. So now I have to see her everyday, but we just completely ignore one-another, and it seems very deliberate from both sides. I want to move on and I've got a lot of stuff I want to do with myself, not feeling like she's the only girl out there, but I still want to try to get her back.

She seems to have just lost interest at the end, no longer attracted to me... I don't know why. I don't think she cheated because that's the first thing I asked and she was adamant that that was not it. The one time we hung out when she got back I was a ty boyfriend but I told her it wouldn't happen again. All she kept saying was she was confused and lost the feelings, and I was blindsided. Now she's probably just annoyed with me. It only lasted two months, but she seemed really into me, and we met each other's families in the first two weeks. We had plans all the way up until December together.

Now I'm curious, how do I attract her again? She said that it wouldn't be possible, but I know people say a lot of stuff like that during breakups. She seems upset and somewhat pities me. I'm thinking about not talking to her for a month or two, but my goal is to try before Halloween. Do I ask her out with friends? Do I break the ice with text? Do I get her flowers? I don't know how to go about this to where she'll actually give me a chance.

TL;DR
Girl broke up with me because 'she lost the feeling/confused' after month-long vacation. I annoyed her. We now ignore each other. What do I do to attract her again? How do I break that ice and get her to give me a second chance?

I know its sounds harsh but, why you want to be with a person, who just left you because of no reason. I know it feels really bad but why you want to go again and build relationship with that person. Is it just because she dumped you? Its normal, sometimes people go through those moment, so you can also overcome. You said,'' she to me seems to have lost interest at the end, no longer attracted to me.. '' In real relationship even you loose attraction, even the other person feels less interesting, but still they stick with each other because of the commitment they have made and out of love! So, what you want to achieve to get again on relation ship with the confuse mind?

You stop talking and communicating, cancel her as a face book friend. No text nothing. And by Halloween, have a new and better girlfriend so you are not even thinking about this one.

She's made it pretty clear that she is no longer interested. That's part of dating... getting to know different people and finding out what you want in a partner.

She knows that you are interested.....there's nothing more you can do. You can't make her feel what she isn't feeling. And you certainly don't want her back because she feels sorry for you.

It's obviously difficult when you are still interested but you need to accept it and move on. Give yourself time, do the things you were wanting to do, hang out with friends, and eventually it will get easier and she will become just one of the girls that you used to date.

You don't "make" her do something she doesn't want to do... and its painfully obvious she wants nothing more to do with you. The flame went out, it was saturated with lots of water and stomped into a pit of very sloppy mud.

So what you do now is pull up your big boy pants and move on... stop thinking about her, stop trying to fix what can't be fixed and move on with your life.

You have no other choice. Otherwise she might call the police, claim you are a stalker, and you find yourself sharing a jail cell with Bubba and Leroy.

What it really boils down to, is the fact that the relationship, is over.

After a relationship ends, as yours with her has, there is no fixing, changing, altering, counseling, improvements, or commitment left to try to save it. There is no foundation to work on, or communication to understand why things aren't working. The relationship fizzled out to have no significant meaning, no reason to carry on, and no opportunity to try to work on problems, after the fact.

She is not obligated to help you get over the relationship, nor is she responsible for the breakup. It takes only one to want out, and the one left behind may never figure out the reasons. She owes you nothing.

People fall out of love, and relationships, and marriages and friendships all the time. For you to keep yourself in limbo hoping for a miracle, isn't going to happen. You won't have closure to the end of this relationship, until you accept it is over. Also not her problem.

Try to learn from this, and gain some insight into why it didn't work out if you can. This will be helpful, because it is likely you will meet someone else, and if you have matured a bit, and learned a bit about yourself, and what you want and need in a relationship, you'll have a much better shot the next time around.

Sending flowers, texting, asking her out with friends, and planning something for Haloween in a few month's time, is not going to work, and you should leave her alone. She has moved on, and to keep hearing from you, and getting gifts, is creepy.

You are trying to hang on to something that no longer exists. Stop flogging a dead horse, and get on with your life. Leave her alone, and move on.

Sorry guy, but for now accept she no longer has an interest in you, and her feeling have changed. It happens all the time, and unless this is your first relationship, its happened to you before. Be glad for the two months you had but moved forward and get ready for the next life experience with romance.

Let it go, and chalk it up to life. Yeah it sucks to be dumped so soon with all those high hopes and plans down the drain, but the good news is it will get better, when the shock wears off.

Thanks for all the answers and the reality check, everyone!

Its never easy... but the easiest least painful way is to put it behind you as quickly as possible.

Hello. This is the OP. I just wanted to thank everyone again for all their answers. After I let go of her and decided to work on myself, she came back. You guys really helped me get a grip on myself.

Did you get back together?

I hope, you did not take her back. No contact is not to get back together,

Remember, unless the issues of why and the problems are addressed, this is just waiting to happen again

Not yet. I am not getting fully invested into this, because, well, I already cried, I don't want to do it again. Not over her. We are not going out, but she shows interest.

SO why are you messing around with her at all then... you may not want to admit it to yourself (yet anyway)... but you actually are putting yourself back in the very same position again. There is no other explanation as to why you would even take her back at all after all of this. You are hoping for something that's not going to happen and is only going to cause you further heartache.

So all you are doing is playing hard to get after she dumped you and made you cry. She is showing interest? Interest in WHAT?? Giving you another chance? I know, its complicated! Let look at this again, she came from her vacation, didn't miss you, just the opposite, wasn't happy with you, now she shows interest.

Why are you even talking/listening to her? She dumped YOU, leave her alone to deal with whatever she is going through, and regroup, rebuild your life and leave the worry about crying over her again alone. Crying is over with, you said so so act like it.

What is this second chance you want supposed to accomplish when you still have the failure of the first chance so fresh in your mind?

Truth in one sentence- " Don't eat what you've already vomited, its not only gross but also will make you more sick.''
By ''Precious''. ;)

She went cold again. This is, to be honest, just funny. I didn't get into it enough because I knew this would happen. Damn her feelings are irritating.

Well guy, only you will know when you have had enough.

You're a glutton for punishment if you keep going back for more.

I really don't know why I keep doing this. It's just the same process over and over, happy, then sad, then happy, then sad. She walks with me, then she's cold over the phone, then she's telling me about her day, then she's cold again.

I don't know what I should do. I really miss her and want her but I have no reason why. I don't see her as super attractive anymore, she does this, I really don't see any good in her personality, at least, anymore... But I still want it. I don't want to be a and cut off, but I'll stop performing first contact. I think I might be scared, and I don't know why because I used to feel fine alone, of nobody really liking me like that again.