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-   -   My boyfriend called me ugly. Is he jealous? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=800235)

  • Aug 27, 2014, 11:25 AM
    mons123
    My boyfriend called me ugly. Is he jealous?
    I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. He's never called me ugly before (and I'm not too attractive) but recently I've made a new guy friend and I was texting him a lot today (We were only talking about school stuff). My boyfriend was with me and he kept asking who I was texting. I told him and he got a little agitated. Finally, after like a few hours, he got mad and asked me why this guy (who lives in another state) was texting me so much. I explained to him that we were only talking about school stuff because the guy has done the program that I'm planning on doing too and my boyfriend got mad and said that the guy is a creeper.

    He asked if the guy's seen my pic on fb and I said probably. To that, my boyfriend said that "well, he's a creeper because you're ugly" That got me mad and when I told him, he said he was only kidding. Is he just jealous? Should I be upset with him over this? He's never called me ugly before, but he did twice today. Once, directly to me and once when he was just singing out loud and said ".... is ugly and blah blah". I got upset and he didn't seem to care much? He seemed angry/defensive and when I asked him if he was jealous he denied it. Then a few hours after I stopped texting the guy, he asked me lets play truth/dare (a game we have never played before). When I said truth, he asked me if I have a crush on the guy and I said no.

    Soooo he's jealous right? Does he actually think that I'm ugly??
  • Aug 27, 2014, 11:32 AM
    joypulv
    Of course he's jealous. Jealousy makes people hurt and angry and they strike out any way that pops into their heads. End of story! Surely you know this by now, and are just looking for affirmation.

    Now what you do about the actual remark is up to you. You are the only one who knows if he really loves and cares about you. If you are secure in that, then you forgive him. Tell him he's no prize if you feel a need to get a wee bit of retaliation. I'd be more inclined to say that it hurt and see what he says.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 11:39 AM
    odinn7
    Wow...

    You guys are young?

    So much wrong here. BOTH of you are immature. He handled the situation terribly by reacting as he did. Calling you ugly is too low. For that, you might want to consider dumping him. He is childish.

    You are not innocent here either though. I would go as far as to say that you are the more immature one here. Your boyfriend didn't handle it well but you pushed him, almost purposely I would say. There you are texting some strange guy all day long and making sure that your boyfriend knows you are. You find nothing wrong with this? Like it's perfectly ok for you to be stuffing that in his face like that? Would you be ok if he was texting a strange girl all day long while making sure you knew he was doing it? Where and how did you meet this new guy and what do you expect to come of it? Chances are, he is not just texting you with happy thoughts of school in his head, he probably has a deeper goal in mind otherwise he wouldn't be wasting his time.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 12:01 PM
    Wondergirl
    Bingo, odinn! I was seething as I read her post, telling how she was texting some guy for HOURS in front of her boyfriend and ignoring him -- and made no secret of how interested she was in their texting. If I, who don't even know her, was seething, I can only imagine how her boyfriend felt.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 12:07 PM
    smoothy
    I think they deserve each other.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 04:34 PM
    Jake2008
    Who cares what he says, or why.

    Surely you know you aren't ugly, and he has no reason to treat you the way he has right? And of course it's jealousy.

    I didn't realize public school had already started.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 05:03 PM
    smilelifesgood
    Regardless of the situation I would not be with a guy who called me ugly.
    It *is* possible to have male friends if you are female - but you could be more considerate about how you are handling that communication.
    But regardless- being called ugly by a person who is supposed to love you and with whom you are in an intimate relationship with is a huge breach of trust in my book. Unforgivable and borderline abusive really
  • Aug 27, 2014, 07:36 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    After hours of my girlfriend texting another boy, even I I said something, sorry, I would have left her sitting on the side of the road.

    There is no excuse for this girls behavior, she is so childish, I must guess she is maybe 12 or 13 at most. ( not sure,how together 3 years maybe a few months?? )

    The guy, should not have said, this, he just needed to walk away and leave her by her self.
  • Aug 27, 2014, 10:38 PM
    Precious7
    Yes, he is obviously jealous! But don't you think your action caused this to happen?
  • Aug 28, 2014, 06:36 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    he got a little agitated. Finally, after like a few hours, he got mad and asked me why this guy (who lives in another state) was texting me so much.
    I do not condone the name calling but anyone would be mad if they were ignored for a few hours for a text buddy. Jealous? I doubt it.

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