I became a mom to a wonderful baby boy when he was 1 years old I was 29 I was very strict with him as he got older I thought maybe I was to strict I always thought that maybe someday he would hate me and want to live with his birth mother that thought just broke my heart. So I decided to be not so mean and began to that things slide being the mom and all I let dad be the mean one Now he's 8 and he think I am a push over and my husband tells me I need to put my foot down and be the mean one again I don't know I understand I need to put my foot down but how? Is spanking bad I was spanked when I was growing up I turned out fine I do know talking to him only works for about 10 seconds but is that normal for a 8 year old I would ask my mom and dad but both of them are gone. I really need someone to tell what they think please help I don't want he to turn out to be from hell when he turns 14 I need to get a grip now please some tell me how.
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Yes

There is nothing wrong with spanking as long as it isn't the punishment you dole out for every situation. Spanking out of anger or frustration tends to easily get out of hand. I would suggest grounding him from friends and activities for his defiance or rudeness. Spanking is a good tool, but only if used for very serious issues. A child who gets hit regularly will not learn anything except that the bigger person wins. (Which may come back to bite you when he is 14.) But the occasional spank can catch a child off guard, and demonstrate how seriously you feel about whatever situation your child has gotten himself into. Also, this is a good time to initiate a chore list and base an allowance on completed chores. Give him some responsibility and make him earn money for the things he wants, or make him earn time to play with friends or video games. Most importantly, if you answer a question and he keeps nagging because he doesn't like your answer, DON'T CAVE IN! He has to know that he can't get what he wants just by nagging. Now if he can prove a point to you or give you information you didn't have when you first answered, it is OK to change your mind, but explain why, and make sure the new information is true and is a good enough reason to change your mind.