My boyfriend, with whom I have lived since February, bought me a ring in NYC for my birthday as an engagement ring. He is wealthy, and financially stable. I have a decent job, but struggle to make ends meet.

When I confronted him about certain issues regarding the way he treats me, he broke the engagement and abruptly tossed me out. I won't go into he gory details, but he's been acting like a real jerk.

Now he says he misses me, and just needs some time. Do I tell him that the only way he's getting the ring back is if he takes me back too? Or, do I tell him he broke his promise to marry me and take care of me and take the ring to a jeweler and sell it so I can provide for myself?

A ring is like a contract. If it's an engagement ring, the man gives the ring on the condition that the female marries him. If that marriage doesn't happen, and the relationship is severed, the ring goes back to the man that bought it.

It doesn't matter if he dumped you or you dumped him, the ring was given you on the condition of marriage, and since that isn't happening, you legally have to give it back.

I have to add. If you pawn it, he can sue you for the cost of what he paid for the ring. He paid for it, not you. You are legally obligated to give it back now that you're no longer engaged to marry. If you don't, he can sue you for either the ring, or the cost of the ring.

He kicked you out, instead of working it out, after less than 6 months living together? How long were you together before moving in with him? Really doesn't matter because I would take this as a preview of how you two resolve your conflicts, and never go back anyway. That's just me though, but pawning the ring for your expenses would certainly end the relationship for sure.

Will he sue? In my mind he broke the deal when you had to move, and the ring is yours, but I am no judge, but makes no sense at all to make him take you back to get his ring back. You do what you want but moving back with him sounds foolish and taking a chance he will act like a jerk and kick you out again. Giving his ring back is a clean break, and your personal finances has nothing to do with it as likely you struggled before him, and will struggle after him, whether you pawn the ring or not.

Has he asked for it back?

Give the ring back... he paid for it... and cover your own butt if he he decided to sue you to get it back... which would only increase your problems and expenses.

And just be glad this all happened BEFORE the wedding took place... rather than after.

The ring isn't yours to sell to provide for yourself...thats your own responsibility to earn enough to live on....or adjust your lifestyle to live within your income.

Quote:

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certain issues regarding the way he treats me

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Will you go back to him if those issues remain the same?

I see we have a little dispute concerning the ring. If he broke the contract, why should he get the ring back? Does this have a Precident in Law?

It may not be a legal issue, although it is a moral one.

It has nothing to do with all the justifications one way or another (ie he's wealthy, you struggle financially, etc.), or any other reason, such as who broke off the engagement.

He bought the engagement ring, the engagement was called off, the right thing to do is give him back his engagement ring.

You can't bargain your way out of this, and there is no justification for keeping it.

]Lets see, we have: is like a contract, condition, relationship severed, ring goes back, doesn't matter he dumped, she dumped, condition of marriage, he bought it, you legally have to give it back, sue, pawn shop, kicked out, he paid for it, ring isn't yours to sell, will you go back, precident in law, he is wealthy, you are struggling financially, you can't bargain, no justification in keeping, bottom line it is a moral one.

Sure are a lot of things to consider in this case to name a few. Glad I am not the judge. Lol

I think you weigh the consequences of your actions, with you own value of dignity and self respect. Broke or NOT, I would give the ring back and disappear from his life after being kicked out by him.

A clean, permanent break from the drama of this whole situation. Revenge may be sweet and justified for the short term, but just prolongs the anguish, drama, and conflict.

Consider this perspective...

You feel you are entitled to keep the ring as payment for putting up with him and sleeping with him all this time.

Ever See the Movie Pretty Woman? Know what profession the woman was in that Julia Roberts was playing the part of?

Give that some thought... do you want to equate yourself with that profession? Because that is who expects to be reimbursed for their private time with someone.

As others have suggested... give it back... cut all ties... be thankful this all came out before the wedding... and by giving it back... it lets you keep your dignitiy and moral high ground, all of which you would give up in exchange for the value of that ring at a pawn shop or Jewlers.

I'd rather have my dignity than a few extra bucks. And I know what its like to not have two coins to rub together....I've been there. Some things are worth more than money.

Smoothly, good job of painting that picture, referring to PM.