So I've been hooking up with this guy for almost 2 years on and off.. I want more than just sex from him but I know that's all he wants from me and apart if me is okay with that but at the same time I'm not.. we hook up at least twice a week and I love it!. but I don't like that I wake up and he's gone.. we're supposed to be friends with benefits but it seems like its just benefits.. I want someone who will tell me I'm beautiful and be here when I wake up and I know he isn't willing to do that.. I want to cut him out of my life but I can't make myself do it because I enjoy the sex so much.. so I guess what I'm asking.. does anyone have any suggestions on how I can make this more than just sex or is that all were ever going to be..

Doesn't sound like "friends" at all. Sounds like a "booty call." Does he claim to be exclusive? How would he react if you weren't?

You are nothing more than a booty call to him. Have you had a physical that includes blood tests? You need to make sure that he has not passed any STDs on to you because the chances that you are the only booty call are very slim.

The expectation on a friends with benefits arrangement is that your physical needs will be met, not your emotional ones. The friends with benefits arrangement works as long as neither part changes the expectation. If you communicate to him your expectation change, he can either bolt or stay.

Here's the next problem. In a relationship you start building an emotional bond and getting to know each other. You two really haven't done that I suspect. So I would imagine that if you both would agree to a relationship, it would be fraught with difficulties.

What did you expect from a friends with Benefits arraingement? That's exactly what it is... you weren't boyfriend and girlfriend which is what you really want and were looking for (or apparently expecting).

You don't buy a Ford Escort then complain its not a Mercedes S class.

A late comment, but what do you honestly expect? Friends with benefits is a good idea, but is often hard to properly manage because someone, as you are, often is getting emotionally attached to the other in the agreement. He just wants to get his winky wet. You want something more. You don't want a FWB arrangement, you want a significant other. That's fine. What hurts is that you're expecting him to feel the same way. Which he obviously doesn't. You're expecting him to have developed the same feelings you did and he didn't. That is probably the part that hurts.

I don't know what your intentions were when you first started this arrangement. I don't what your secret intentions or hopes were either. I don't know if you expecting this to turn out differently or not. The problem is now that you know that this isn't going to turn into a relationship. It is really sounding like you're more in the market for a relationship instead of a FWB. I would suggest either terminating this arrangements or lowering your expectations to his. You're also going to to figure out your emotional needs and find that outlet as well. That's going to be the hard part.

I am also assuming that you've also had the protection/STI talk with him so I won't go into that.

Friends with benefits, do not have romance, and love.. They are friends, they may hang out, go out to drink.. even dinner, do a ballgame.. They often do not spend the night, they will not say you are beautiful, that is a boyfriend.

You are suppose to have a boyfriend, for the emotional needs.

You have been satisfied with the FWB arrangement, but now you are longing for something more. He doesn't appear to want more, so you need to say "thank you" but you are moving on. You could be grateful to him for the good times, of course, and if he responds by saying he is interested in something more, you will be pleasantly surprised. But your description doesn't make it seem likely. Say "thanks' and cherish the memories.