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-   -   Aching Heart (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=795793)

  • Jul 2, 2014, 07:12 PM
    thehyghwayman
    Aching Heart
    Hello from Ohio,


    I will get straight to it;


    I've been with my wife for 23yrs and married to her for 18yrs and I want out of this marriage. We had one child together back in 93, he's 20yrs old now. I'm 48 and mmy wife is 51. I've lost the feeling/love for my wife and want out of this marriage.

    We had a good relationship with love and what not until we were both victims of a high speed rear end collision in 2004. My wife was in the drivers seat and walked away unhurt, I was not as lucky. My injuries created financial hardships on us being at the time I was the bread winner and was unable to work for several (11)months. 52wks after the first accident I got T-boned which exasperated my original injuries. My wife believed I was faking my injuries so I wouldn't have to work which is BS because I loved my chosen career (Auto Mechanic). Between that and the pain killers we grew apart. After healing from the 2nd accident I found work in the automotive field as a Service Consultant but the income was nearly 1/2 of what I made as a Mechanic so my wife went out and found work to help make ends meet.

    I have been sexually faithful to my wife for as long as we have been together, to the time of this post. Early into our relationship we both agreed that if we ever had feelings for someone other we would let the other know before acting out. Now here's the issue, in 2012 I was contacted by a crush I had in jr high. Feelings I had for this crush returned 10 fold because we were separated (my family moved out of state) and I never got to say goodbye. We communicated via phone/text for almost a week before I told my wife and therefore in her eye I cheated on her by giving my attention to another woman. I stopped all communications with my crush a few days later thinking we could get past this bump in life and the first year we grew closer but the last year has been hell.

    Seeking legal and spiritual advice.
    Thanks in advance to all that reply.
  • Jul 2, 2014, 08:17 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You telling your wife, about the old friend, and the feelings, is most likely the main issue. It has given her more doubt. ** many married couples have feelings or desires for someone else, but never act on them.. I believe that we need to keep those types of feelings to our self, if we are not acting on them.

    You need to work on marriage counseling, not giving up. I have not heard any word of months of counseling, before you give up
  • Jul 3, 2014, 01:54 PM
    cdad
    Legally the span of time the marriage has lasted will make the divorce harder because other issues come into play such as spousal support which at this point can last a lifetime.

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