Hi, I am a 25 year old guy who hasn't dated much in my life and horrible with dating. The last time I dated a girl was 4 years ago... Since then I have decided to put that part of my life and focus on my career. Fast forward to today. Right now I have just landed my dream job in the public sector and I am most likely financially set for life. I think its time for me to start dating again. The other day, I have met this girl at work. We introduced each other to the other. She seems genuinely nice and is someone I would like to get to know better. I think there may have been a spark there but then again I am horrible in reading social cues. So I'm not sure how to proceed, should I ask her out or something? Actually I want to but don't know how to and I don't even know if she has a boyfriend or if she's nice to everyone. Anyhow thanks for listening.

Never a good idea to date someone you work with, especially since you know absolutely nothing about her. This could end very badly.

I'd find someone you don't work with.

I don't actually work with her. We just work in the same company. Does that change anything?

Nope, doesn't change anything... I've seen so many relationships between people who work at teh same company that end in such spectacularly horrible ways BOTH ended up fired on the spot. And even at best one person always ended up fired and even the person that wasn't... their career there was forever damaged.

Never... EVER date someone that works for the same employer. Most relationships WILL end at some point... usually not in a nice way... and very few last the distance. Meanng the odds are significantly stacked against you before you even start.

Yes...YOU may not talk....but if she does...you are screwed. If people SEE it going badly....you are screwed.... any way around it....its almost certainly going to end up with you screwed before its over....and there goes your dream job down the toilet.

Rumours get around....and its impossible to stop them. people WILL find out. Never underestimate the power of the grapevine to dig up dirt and other information.

I'm going different on this one...

I don't know where you work but as long as they don't have a policy about it and as long as both of you don't work in the same department, there might not be a problem with this. I would be sure about company policy first though. Also, keep in mind that if the 2 of you break up or have some other issues with each other, it could be very uncomfortable at work.

I'm going to go one step further than Odinn.

You don't know her, not really. You don't even know if she's single or not. So you obviously haven't really talked to her or gotten to know her well enough to know if you want a relationship with her. That is a slippery slope when it comes to someone you work with, and yes, working in the same company counts as working together.

So, if you pursue this and she's not interested, not as flirty as you thought, words like sexual harassment, and litigation, come to mind.

It's NEVER EVER EVER a good idea to date or pursue someone you work with.

In this case, since you really don't know a lot about her, and aren't really invested in this, I'd back off and find someone else. Someone you don't work with.

Going to go the Odinn route... again depending on the size of the company and type of work you do. Work, just like university, is a very common place to meet people. For some people, that's about the only place that they will meet someone.

However, as also was said, there is the possibility of work place drama if things didn't work out, depending on the maturity and professionalism of the people involved. Although you've just met her so it may or may not be something you even need to worry about.

Talk to her some more if you happen to cross paths. If you feel she might be interested, you could simply ask if she would like to catch a movie sometime.

*as others suggested...keep your options open at this point and get to know women while doing other activities that you enjoy as well

Forget dating her or asking her out until you know much more about her plain and simple. If you want to get back in the dating scene and get the rust off your social skills, then go where its appropriate and NOT at your brand new dream job. I found that building a life that you enjoy outside of work is the way to not only explore and experiment with yourself (and have fun) but learn to interact with others in a much better environment than your job.

You probably benefit from looking around and having more safer options for fun and dating than just the cute female at work. Especially being inexperienced and maybe anxious. A date isn't an exclusive commitment, its an opportunity to interact and learn so don't just zero in on one female. ENJOY getting to know them all... as people and JUST friends first. Trust me, it will flow naturally from there if expectations are reasonable, as you get more comfortable in your own skin.

Did I mention having fun outside of work?

One question that was not asked, is where are you at. And what culture.

You make the first date sound like a plan on marriage. I know here in China this is how it is, you will not even do a first date, until you know they may be a great marriage partner

In Western culture, you date. Just date, it is causal and you go out to enjoy and get to know them.

So if you want to date, you ask them out, you ask several people out, and date several people and get to know them.

Thank you for your insights guys. For more information, I work in a government position with more than 700 employees at my division. I don't even know when I'll see her again because the workplace is so big. However I have run into her a few times already and chatted. She seems interested but I can't really tell for sure. Maybe she's just nice to everyone. I'm sure I'll run into her sooner or later.

Like I said... you don't have to work WITH her directly... people at work tend to find out almost everything that happens there with everyone else... PARTICULARLY if , another person there is involved.

Sounds like you haven't been in the work force long enough to know this happens anywhere you work. And rumours once started.. tend to have a life of their own... and even if not completely true... can and will effect your career and future because your bosses will hear these rumors, likely long before you ever find out they are circulating.

THats an important bit of advice that is very important to always remember the rest of your working life. If its something you don't want everyone to know...you never tell anyone and only then is there any chance of it not getting around. And I say chance...because sometimes people still find out somehow.

Once its out there.....its too late to hide.

Trust me I know how easy it is.....and when every single case I've encountered where both parties didn't own their own business turned out badly in the last 33 years I've been out of college and working....you see why I have the opinion I have on this.