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-   -   Is our relationship fixable? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=795043)

  • Jun 24, 2014, 04:52 AM
    openmindedgirl
    Is our relationship fixable?
    My boyfriend and I had a big fight. The reason was that he wanted to take my promiscuous friend to his house to be his housemaid. He just dismissed his last one so he needs a new one. He asked me if it's okay with me. I told him I don't like the idea but he asked my girlfriend anyway. My friend is the last person I want my boyfriend to be with in a house for weeks. Aside from the fact that she is very weak when it comes to temptation, my boyfriend was already showing signs that he is attracted to her. I don't mind him being attracted to someone else as long as he won't make advances on it. Coming from a relationship with a cheating boyfriend, I don't want that to happen to me again, especially that this girl friend of mine just recently broke my trust. My boyfriend took it as I don't trust him. What I don't trust is the situation they would be in. When temptation calls, there is very huge chance they will do it given that my boyfriend once told me that "it's the woman who's in control". How am I supposed to trust the situation? With the way they both are, how can I be confident that I won't be cheated on? I tried to explain that to my boyfriend but sees it otherwise. Our arguments got heated and I told them I would just break up with him if she'd take the offer because I can't live with the thought that they are in one house. He said he can't deal with my inner monster. He can't take the threats and ultimatum. But he refuses to see my side.

    I talked to the girl and we are now okay. She understood why I reacted that way and she's hoping for the best for me. I tried reaching out to my boyfriend but he said he is bitterly disappointed in me and told me to leave it like that. So, our relationship is on the brink now. He sounded like he doesn't want me anymore but won't talk about it. Can we still fix this?

    Please enlighten me. Thanks much.
  • Jun 24, 2014, 05:08 AM
    Oliver2011
    "I told them I would just break up with him" When you make statements like that you have to know it can go either way at that point. Either you are serious about breaking up or your not. Don't use it as a threat because at that point you lose control.

    I totally get why you were upset with the whole situation. I get why your boyfriend was disappointed. Now it will take the two of you to work towards fixing the relationship, if that is what both parties want. If not, then it won't be fixable. I would give him some time to cool down so that he can rationally see the situation for what it is. Afterwards you need to be understanding of his feelings and not constantly throwing your point in his face. He gets it at this point.
  • Jun 24, 2014, 07:47 AM
    talaniman
    I would have dumped them both from my life. No threats or drama.

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