Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Insecurity and trust (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=79451)

  • Apr 5, 2007, 07:25 AM
    imation
    Insecurity and trust
    At some stage in a relationship, chances are someone is going to get some jealous or insecure feelings. These can lead to distrust and ultimate relationship breakdown.
    Trust can come from an incident with a third party, a build up of action..
    Or just an overall jealous person.. there's heaps more but these are main ones

    A common women's complaint in a relationship is that they want more love, attention, affection and effort.
    Is it therefore unreasonable for a man to expect the same love, attention, affection and effort?
    Women want a man who can talk to them, understand them, be confident, reliable, trustworthy, committed... there's a long list lol
    But is it unreasonable for the man to expect the same in return?
    Where is the line where one party thinks that the other needs to change, and if compromise is the case... as it often is... what happens if one side of the agreement is met but the other is not.
    What happens when the man is constantly let down by his partner when there has been unfulfilled compromise after unfulfilled compromise? Even if the issue is a common female problem..
    How does a relationship stand a chance when the man thinks more effort is needed, but the woman feels that she is making an effort...
    Who's turn is it to compromise?
    Does the woman make more of an effort and if so... what does she do?
    Or is it the man who needs to trust his partner and learn to feel content with the effort that's currently being made?
    I hope a lot of people could comment on this topic, I know there's no succinct question in there... but you'll find it if you look hard enough
    Thanks
  • Apr 5, 2007, 08:09 AM
    sypher373
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by imation

    a common womens complaint in a relationship is that they want more love, attention, affection and effort.

    Seems to be just as common a complaint that they receive "too much love and attention" which leads to the common complaint of "smothering".

    I guess it's a balance that each relationship needs to find.
  • Apr 5, 2007, 09:03 AM
    phillysteakandcheese
    Many people - men and women - are often very confused over what they really want, and change their mind about what they want based on a whim or fleeting momentary desire.

    Many people - men and women - also often want what they can't have. It doesn't matter "how good" they have it now, they see "something better" and decided they "can't settle".

    By following one of these to an extreme, many people ruin their lives. You can apply these to just about anything - not just relationships...
  • Apr 5, 2007, 04:30 PM
    imation
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sypher373
    Seems to be just as common a complaint that they receive "too much love and attention" which leads to the common complaint of "smothering".

    I guess its a balance that each realtionship needs to find.


    Your right, that's one thing I forgot to add. It is a common complaint that men are "needy"
    But what spawns this neediness...
    Is it in all cases that the man has insecurities and needs to get over them with no change on the woman's part, or is it the mans point of view where he want to be more loved and feel more effort is being made in the relationship?
    Can it be both?

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:21 PM.