Ok I had a horrible break up almost two months ago now, we were together just over a year. Things were great until last July when I found out she was talking with her ex. We talked about it and decided to stay together. To make a really long story shorter I caught her two more times talking to her ex, but once again we worked it out. Also I should say she has a past with drugs, something I was uncomfortable with but accepted. So things were pretty good up until March of this year. That's when she started acting different and I was let's just say never really past the whole her talking to her ex situation, so I wasn't the same person I was when we first met. I paid for rent, bills, food etc. The entire relationship which also changed how I acted towards her, I suspected I was being used but pushed that feeling aside since I loved her.

Anyway towards the end of April, the 18th to be exact we got into a fight and she told me she wanted to take a break, I told her OK I understand. Then the next day I asked her that morning if we were still taking that break, she said yes it will be good for us. So I left for the day, ended up stupidly texting an ex of mine, realized it was something I didn't want to do so I never replied to her message back. Then that night she tells me she doesn't want to take that break, that she still loves me. So we had a heart to heart talk for hours, which is when she asked me if I had talked to anyone or texted anyone, I lied and said no. :/ Then Sunday was a great day, everything seemed to be OK and back to normal.

That Monday she had my phone (she needed it for work) and my ex texted me. By the time I got home she had already packed her things and left. I tried contacting her and she never replied. Then to make matters way worse I went to where she was staying and for my sake I'll just say I got into some legal trouble. No I didn't lay a hand on her. But since then I have heard nothing from her.

So my question is do I need to just accept what happened and move on? Or is there ANY chance she'll take me back at some point?

No one can tell you what to do.And you should not let anyone lead you one way or the other. Especially about this type of situation. You must follow your heart. And sometimes that leads to a very painful experience. What you must remember is that a relationship is similar to a house. It must be built from the ground up. If the foundation is not solid the house will falter, it may not fall but it will lean and twist and moan and groan. Its walls will never be straight and the floors will always be un-level. Any issue at the conception of construction will only grow and multiply as time goes on.
My father once told me , If they do it to you once, they'll do it to you again and time heals all wounds.
Good luck.

With all that drama why would you want to get back together with her?

You knew each other a year and you were already living together? I am guessing that you didn't know each other well enough to make it work. My partner and I have been together almost 3.5 years. But we didn't live together until we knew each other inside and out, and that was after 2 years of dating. There's no set time table, but if you are going to make a huge move of moving in together, then you need to know that person well.

Don't settle. As the previous poster said, time does heal. And you can help make that happen. Call your friends to go out, get exercise, go for a walk and appreciate the beauty, and keep your mind focused on other things. You will slowly but surely start to move forward.

You had doubts right from the beginning.

She had doubts of some kind, because she contacted her ex.

Then, you contacted your ex, immediately after a break up.

The next day you lie about that, and the relationship starts up again.

Then she finds out, what you found out about her, that you were texting your ex.

Now you are in legal trouble for still trying to make a dead relationship work.

Yes, leave her alone. It's over. I imagine further contact with her will land you in more legal trouble, if not in jail.

This thing has been dead a long time but was kept alive by high false hopes, and assumptions, and issues that were never resolved just ignored. Now you have legal troubles after you lied about doing what she has been doing for quite sometime. The difference is you gave her chances yet she gave you none.

Walk away and keep your dignity and self respect. Good riddance. Heal, and do much better for yourself.

We knew each other just over a week and we were living together, it was one of those situations where she had just moved out to CO and had no place to stay, I wasent going to let her sleep in her car but I still felt like it was a bad idea at the time... Anyway thanks for the advise! I appreciate it...

All you can do is learn from this. For me that step is huge and I wanted to make sure that both my partner and me were ready for that. And we were because we knew each other well.

As a side note I used to live in Littleton.

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Originally Posted by Mike022

We knew each other just over a week and we were living together, it was one of those situations where she had just moved out to CO and had no place to stay, I wasent going to let her sleep in her car but I still felt like it was a bad idea at the time... Anyway thanks for the advise! I appreciate it...

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Ya it is a huge step, but it was just the situation she was in and how it worked out... Don't get me wrong we had a ton of awesome times, and after the first few months I felt like I knew her pretty well, turned out I dident but that's how things go I suppose... Anyway I used to live in Littleton! Haha right of Santa Fe and Bellevue... Small world

Yup. I was in the Highlands on S. Garfield Way. That was between, if memory serves me correctly, County Line and Dry Creek, and Colorado and University. I went to Arapahoe High School.

Crazy, I also used to live right by arapahoe hs, SE of dry creek and university... Lol I was going to go to AHS, but ended up moving up north to Northglenn...

Ok my question is simple. My relationship lasted just over a year, I thought it was a "normal" relationship, but the way she left and some of the things she did while we were together had me wondering what was up... So my question is, how do you know someone truly loves you? Or were they just using you?

That takes experience... a lot of it. If she left... then odds are its not something that popped into her mind two minutes before she walked... but had been something she was thinking about for a while.

Besides... a relationship takes two... if both parties don't feel the same then its doomed... and that appears to be the case here... after only a year... nobody "loves" you. That's still very much into the lust phase, long before actually love could begin to grow. Apparently that was fading for her and they was no love coming in to replace it.

First thing you do is you don't move in together after knowing each other a week. The honeymoon period was still happening so you didn't know her true self and her true colors. Just think what would have happened after she moved in and you saw something you didn't like. You would have been stuck in a bad situation for some time.

A person who truly loves you puts you first in everything, like you do for that person. That happens over time.

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Originally Posted by Mike022

Ok my question is simple. My relationship lasted just over a year, I thought it was a "normal" relationship, but the way she left and some of the things she did while we were together had me wondering what was up... So my question is, how do you know someone truly loves you? Or were they just using you?

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Your relationship was not normal at all. It moved very quickly into one without the getting to know you part, after about week of meeting, and while you were being a knight in shining armor, and her a needy damsel in distress, with much baggage to unpack I might add, you got enamored and attached and went for it.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn.

You ignored the obvious, she still had the ex on her mind and was running from him so, with your help she got her strength back and decided she was ready to face whatever without you. Just look back at the way you gave and she took and you would have seen the signs and protected yourself. Never a great idea to take in a stranger and provide for them, AND give them your heart. In the beginning she had no choice, ut over time she did.

Helping another in a time of need is great, but to expect love in return was not realistic, though understandable, and from this experience comes the knowledge to slow down with the love stuff and make sure its love and not just gratitude or an attachment for the moment. As for being used, that's entirely on YOU, as it was voluntary, and even when the signs indicated it was time to backoff, you did NOT, nor did you think twice about continuing down the path you were on.

A messy experience, disappointing, but just chalk it up, and learn from it and do better next time. Often its so easy to blame others when we are hurt but recognize the part you played in letting them hurt you. They can't do it without you, can they?

I was afraid of those answers... But you all are right, I'm just as much to blame for letting it happen... It's just confusing, as much as I hate to say it we talked about getting married and having a family. I mean who talks about that if they don't mean it? Pretty cold hearted... But like I said you guys are right, and once again I appreciate the advise!

All you can do is learn from this. Life's lessons are cool if we learn from them.

Just remember, slow the relationship train down. The more you put into getting to know the person first, the longer it has the potential to last. My partner is very important to me, so I took it very, very slow in the beginning. I wanted it to last forever and I wanted to be in love for the very last time of my life.

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Originally Posted by Mike022

I was afraid of those answers... But you all are right, I'm just as much to blame for letting it happen... It's just confusing, as much as I hate to say it we talked about getting married and having a family. I mean who talks about that if they don't mean it? Pretty cold hearted... But like I said you guys are right, and once again I appreciate the advise!

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I guess that's something I'm going to have to learn, it's hard for me to get to know someone... Which is probably why I rushed things so much with her since we just kind of hit it off right from the start... But lesson learned, life goes on!