Ok so we have been together for a year, everything has been amazing until now we used to have amazing sex! Like THE best!. we would cuddle all the time watch movies take showers together go out and do things it was nice.. but the past 4 months or so have seemed a little off.. out of no where he stopped wanting to take showers with me then it slowly led to no sex at all no cuddling no watching me movies that I like me more every time I try to have sex with him he makes an excuse or ask what I'm doing ): I really feel like he's not sexually attracted to me anymore or he might be seeing someone else I have no I idea, a and every time I bring it up and ask why he acts as if I'm crazy and tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me and is just as a attracted to me today as the day we first met... but if that were true why the hell is he not ducking me.. Lol like am I over reacting?? I really don't think so sex is definitely not everything but it's odd to start a relationship with lots of sex then go to none at all... tired of getting shut down and regected! But I love him and knows he love me he tells . Me he loves me every dayand shows it in many other ways too! Ugh is me one else's boyfriend like this??

I'm 20 and is 40... crazy I know but we fell for each other and its been over a yr now and for the past 4-5 months we have had sex maybe 3 times I'm still very attracted to him and I'm always horny but he sais he's not horny anymore and he never want to do it... he can usually one do it 2 times a day which is more than enough for.me.but not it's to the point where we don't have a sex like at all.. is he just getting to that age? Please help.. feeling hopless

It can be anything, is he going through some sort of stress, is there something he isn't happy about and try to communicate and ask him what is going on? Does he wants to marry you! But you're not ready! I don't know , talk to him what's happening in his life, if he is going through some tensions in his life then support him, may be you'll get your reward! Who knows!
All the best!

Clearly you haven't been in any long term relationships before... you only go at it like rabbits at first until the novelty of a new partner wears off... which can be weeks, months or at most a couple years. If you think any guy can do it 2 or more times a day for any extended length of time with a single woman you have a lot of misconceptions to overcome.

Add the fact he apparently has come to the conclusion the relationship isn't what he first thought. Now you see there is a difference between lust and love. THe lust has worn off for him but it hasn't been replaced by love. And its way too soon for love to have grown yet anyway.

And that all assumes he isn't upset about anything... or isn't tired or stressed from work.

I agree that you need to look at the larger picture. Issues in intimacy usually have their beginnings in other areas and generally not even related to the bedroom.

Did anything happen about four or five months ago that may have caused him to back off? Health scare, pregnancy scare, change is jobs or working conditions, family or friend issues, etc.? Has anyone given him difficulty over being with someone 20 years younger than he is? Does he have any children from previous relationships?

When the slow down first occurred how did you react? Did you accept it or did you press for more intimacy? I doubt you meant to put pressure on him, but if he felt pressured to be intimate when he didn't feel like it, he could be reacting to it by backing off. If he shows affection, are you attempting to turn it into sex? Pressure to have sex/be intimate (real or perceived) can cause a person to shut down. In some cases they don't even realize what is happening.

From your other question about potty training, I know that you also have a three year old son. Is there a chance your boyfriend is concerned about the child walking in or over-hearing the two of you? As children get older and obviously pay more attention to what is going on around them and become more mobile, it can cause some self-consciousness about private matters.

When you try communicating with him, make the discussion more about what is going on in your lives and general stress. Take the focus off of sex. See if that leads to uncovering what the main issue is.

Maybe the young thing has worn off with him and he is not as interested. I would imagine at 40 he is not interested in 2 times a day sex. Maybe your year long thing has run it's course and he does not want to hurt your feelings by telling you so. At 20 sex is more important to you than it is to him and you are not helping the relationship by pestering him about it. It may be time to leave him alone and seek someone closer to your own age.

The lust has worn off for him quicker than for you and while you still relish it, he does not. If you want to stay together, you have to reach his mind and explore other areas of intimacy and compatibility outside the bedroom.

Its very typical, as LUST always fades, and if there is nothing else between you, then so will the relationship. Fun while it lasted but if you are not ready for the work that always comes after LUST, then its time to find a different LUST buddy. Lust fades, love grows. Lust is about the body, love is about the rest of reality.

Yes he asked me to marry him I said yes but haven't set a date we have been engaged for a while now.. and he is stressed a lot from work

Ive talked to him about it though and he tells me he loves me more tha anything in the world and all he wants is me... its nice seeing things from other people's point of views.. thanks

Actually I was in a 4 year relationship and the sex was great we did it at least 2 times a day.. but anyway... do you really think he's just tired of me..

No, I don't think he is tired of you, I think he loves you. And I will still stick to my opinion regardless of what other says, that it could be the result of stress at work (according to what you've mentioned). I think when everything will get little better at his work, he will be back. May be you can give him some time and be patience with him through this journey. :)

Okay thank you so much (:

Each relationship has its own ups and downs. Be careful that you aren't comparing past and present. It isn't fair to the current relationship.

If you are 20 and have been with him for over a year, then you met him when you were 18/19. This puts you at 14/15 when the previous relationship began. Perhaps even 13 if there was some time between the two relationships.

This shows that you don't really have a lot of experience in long term relationships. You haven't had the time. You are learning. Be patient with yourself and with him as the two of you learn how to communicate and work through the issues.

As long as you are able to talk and work with each other, give the relationship a chance. If you start harboring frustration and resentment and there is more arguing and fighting than showing affection and love with no hope of things improving, then walk away. But only you will know if that tipping point on the scale is reached.

Good luck.

My dear, you have a whole range of stuff besides the bedroom to bond about if you are planning to be married. Besides the body, is the mind and soul. If you are going to be insecure about the lack of ex the way it was, you will never adjust to the reality of two souls working together.

Relax. It's not always about you and love.