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-   -   Should I write to my ex? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=793468)

  • Jun 3, 2014, 11:55 AM
    lshbl
    Should I write to my ex?
    I'm sorry that my story is a bit long. My ex dumped me over a year ago. He's my first everything. We were together for 4 years, including 2 years long distance. We've been through so much. I was the only person with him when his best friend and dog died and I helped him deal with his court cases. We are from different countries. He left me 2 years ago to go to graduate school and we planned to get married once he got his degree. He had records of cheating and constantly lied, so I was very insecure when he's not around me. He's a social butterfly, and he's loud. He always gets people's attention. I was aware that he couldn't stand the loneliness if I wasn't with him so I would constantly tell him that if he lost feelings or love for me or he fell in love with someone else, please let me know. I would be cool and let him go. He would always reassure me that he loved me and only wanted to be with me.

    He works at a bar and he's got so touchy when girls are around. He put his hands on girls boobs almost in every picture I saw. He thought I was overreacted and we fought so many times because of this and this is basically the reason we broke up. I initiated the breakup but he said nothing. He left me without a single word. I was heartbroken. A month after the breakup, I asked for closure. He told me how bad a person I was. Then I cut all ties.

    Until 6 months ago, I found out that he's got a girlfriend. I was upset and told him that I'm not over him. He said he's not over me yet. I mean so much to him, and no matter who he's with, no one can ever be as nice as I am. I cried for 3 days because of his words. I was thinking if we could give it one more try, and gave him the offer, he became silent. He was just saying things I wanted to hear. He lied to me again. I swear to god that I will never ever talk to him again and I told him how much I hate him.

    It's been six months since we last talked. Now he's got his degree, but he still works at the bar and still plays around. This wasn't the reason he went abroad. I let him go to pursue his dream instead of begging him to stay with me. I'm so disappointed in him. He really deserves a better job. I tried very hard to move on. I'm doing better now, but I don't think I will ever get over him. No matter how much I hate him, I think about him every day. I'm moving abroad soon and I think it's going to help me to focus on myself more. I'm thinking about writing him an email telling him how I feel and I think he deserves a better job. Is it a good idea?
  • Jun 3, 2014, 11:58 AM
    Wondergirl
    NO!!!!! Do not contact him!
  • Jun 3, 2014, 12:34 PM
    smoothy
    NO... leave well enough alone... and move forward in your life... not backwards.
  • Jun 3, 2014, 12:47 PM
    odinn7
    Why do you want to keep hurting yourself?

    The guy has proven over and over that he's an absolute jerk...so let it go. His job isn't good enough for him? Who cares.

    He disrespected you and was a poor example of a boy friend...don't keep trying to talk to him, you are only making things worse for yourself. Move on, someone better will come along and you will forget this lying, cheating, disrespecting jerk.
  • Jun 3, 2014, 12:54 PM
    talaniman
    What more evidence do you need that he just isn't into you? He hasn't changed or come after you, and despite the words that made you cry, his action are he is over you, and moved on. Let him, and leave him alone and move on yourself.

    You can do better. He has his degree and if he wanted a better job wouldn't he get it? I see no good in ever contacting him again, and I hope you aren't keeping this fool dream alive of being with him again by keeping up with him from behind the scenes. That's no good.

    You can do better for yourself, and I hope you do.

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