I got a text message from my best guy mate last night... and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me... now I'm not sure what to do because I've known him for all my life, and I too have feelings for him. But I don't want to ruin our 10 yr friendship... :eek: :eek: WOT DO YOU THINK I SHULD DO?? Someone please tell me! :confused: :confused: :confused:

Here is the thing.. I think men and women can have purely platonic relationships but it is hard for men to really have them unless they are mature beyond their years. In my opinion he wanted you all along or had feelings for you before and finally took it upon himself to bring it up.

To answer your question, most fulfilling and long lasting relationships come from being friends first. The key is to understand that once you make the decision to move forward, you will never be friends this way again... never. And your feelings and thoughts for him may be completely different once dating because you will see him in a different light. Up to you but make sure you weigh the consequences with it and figure out. But it is more of deciding is it worth ruining a friendship to date and see what is possibly there or just keep him as a great friend and find something else.

And also he sent this I love you comment via text... very immature in my opinion and maybe he was drinking and blah blah blah but something to make note of

Ruin your friendship?

Its not ruining its advancing. If you like/love him go out. I don't see any problems here.

Kriscool

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Go for it.

LIFE IS ABOUT TAKING RISKS. SOMETIMES EVEN THE MOST DRAMATIC RISKS.

You are right it is advancing but most likely the friendship will go away if it doesn't work out is all I am saying. It would completely contradict every sort of advice that is on this site. When you break up even if amicably it takes time to be friends and even then it is very difficult to set aside those feelings. If he loves her like he says he does and if it doesn't work out then it would ruin the friendship and you can't be naïve and think that it can't happen.

But yes it is jumping the gun and like I said in my response, many great relationships begin after having fulfilling friendships and whose to say you can't be any different. I say if your feelings are the same and you would regret it if you didn't try then go for it. But I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into not that it hasn't already crossed your mind.

It is possible he was too shy to contact in person so he sent a text... of course it is just as possible that the text was a drunken thing like No hitter said.

But if you never take the chance, you will never know. You can't be scared to love on the chance that it may end badly. It may be a mistake, but it is worth making.

I took a chance with my best friend and we have been married now for 3 years. We have been 'together' oficially for 8 years. I am closer to him than I could have ever been with anyone else. He knows me from the inside out and he grew up with me, so we share many fond memories and many hard times.

Thanks so much for your advice.. maybe I forgot to tell you that I'm going out with one of his close mates... all I see him as a mate and I can't say I don't love him because I love him as a mate only. We haven't talked like we used to because of the issue being in the air between us. I'm so concerned about him because he hasn't been at school or work. And I'm not sure why? Did I do the wrong move in our friendship. did I just ruin it?

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Originally Posted by haylz-p

i got a text message from my best guy mate last nite...and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me....now im not sure what to do because ive known him for all my life, and i too have feelings for him. but i dont want to ruin our 10 yr friendship....:eek: :eek: WOT DO YOU THINK I SHULD DO??? someone please tell me! :confused: :confused: :confused:

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There isint much ground work that needs to be done because you know the person... if he is feeling you and you are feeling the same then I say go for it because it will be painfull once that opportunity passas u... I understand that it may put a strain on your relationship as best friends but if u 2 r feeling each other then go for it... trust m , I have learnt from my mistakes in the past... but then try not to blow it when you are now together

Going out w. your best friend is I think the best relationship you guys will always be best friends... 10years? That should mean you both are mature enough and know each other pretty good... I'm in the same relation its real nice... but, I use to mess up sometimes and be a best friend instead of a boy friend to my gril in comforting her sometimes hopefully that mistake won't happen with you guys if it does... you only learn good luck

I know what you mean when you don't want to ruin your 10 year friendship with him, (because if you guys breakup then its all over, sometimes). But you would never know until you try it (as they say) maybe both of you could make an agreement date for a few month/week and if you guys don't think it's a good idea then you would still be friends. But that is what I think, my own opinion. You should do what you think is best.

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Originally Posted by Nohitter410

Here is the thing..I think men and women can have purely platonic relationships but it is hard for men to really have them unless they are mature beyond their years. In my opinion he wanted you all along or had feelings for you before and finally took it upon himself to bring it up.

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I really agree with that...

This thread is from over a year ago...

Please stop replying.