Ask Me Help Desk - What To Do?

Well two years ago I met my ex-boyfriend & we've been on & off & even at certain points we stopped talking but always at some point ended up getting back in touch with each other. Just last month after three months of not speaking at all he inboxed me on Facebook and was just basically asking me how everything has been going in my life so far. The next day he asks can he come over to my house being as though he now works close to my house and I agreed. Prior to this I had looked on his Facebook account & it said that he was in a relationship so when he came over I straight up asked him from the beginning & initially he says "yes" & I replied "does she know you're over here?" & he says "no" & I'm just sitting there confused so I ask "are you serious?" and he says "no". Eventually one thing led to another and we had sex. As I was walking him to the bus stop it was this voice in my telling me that he's lying so I check his Facebook again & it still says he's in a relationship with this girl. The next morning he texts me & I never replied. I was on the phone with my friend this same day & I was telling about everything that went down & she's like "matter fact he does have a girlfriend Kevin(her ex-boyfriend) told me(Kevin & my ex are friends.) I call him & he's still lying so he apologizes which I know he's only sorry because he got caught. After that we stopped talking again & then a few days ago he texts me & we were talking & he sends me a text saying he's sorry about everything that happened before & he just wants to be in my life & for me to comfortable enough to call/text him for anything. Later that day he comes over & we just have a long discussion about how things are & we again got on the topic of his girlfriend & I just was like " I don't even want to know if you have one or not,just don't tell me". He says he's going to tell me anyway and says they broke up. Idk why but I believe him this time.. Am I too gullible? Should I just leave him alone??

Off and on, do you see a pattern. If you want to break up. Then break up... you know this is not working, so just stop listening to him

You are weak and gullible. It's not a good relationship, never has been. Leave him alone.

Since I am the 3d response, I will make it unamimous, forget him move on.

Is this the same guy who has used you for sex since you were 14? That's why you are off and on for the last 2 years, because he finds girls his age to have sex with when you two are off. Now you are what 16/17 maybe and he is 20 something and you still haven't learned to leave him alone?

The only reason he contacted you again was because he broke with his last ho'. Naw,but you don't want to
Hear that so will get used for sex again, until another ho' shows up. You can do better, and should. I would rather you cry for being young and dumb, than keep lying to yourself about being USED. He ain't in love with you,just your willing body. You confuse love and sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You are weak and gullible. It's not a good relationship, never has been. Leave him alone.

Do you even know me to call me weak & gullible? Remove yourself from my page HATER... that was so irrelevant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Is this the same guy who has used you for sex since you were 14? That's why you are off and on for the last 2 years, because he finds girls his age to have sex with when you two are off. Now you are what 16/17 maybe and he is 20 something and you still haven't learned to leave him alone?

The only reason he contacted you again was because he broke with his last ho'. Naw,but you don't want to
Hear that so will get used for sex again, until another ho' shows up. You can do better, and should. I would rather you cry for being young and dumb, than keep lying to yourself about being USED. He ain't in love with you,just your willing body. You confuse love and sex.

I'm all open to hearing people's opinions on this situation but here's where you spoke on something & had no idea what you were talking about. First off I met him before I was 14,Second the reason why we were on & off had nothing to do with any other FEMALES, Third in any situation where him & I had sex I was a willing participant & knew what I was doing,if he was using me trust me I'd know I'm from far stupid... Last you don't know me or him so how could you question our love for each other? #THANKSANYWAY :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by catonsville

Since I am the 3d response, I will make it unamimous, forget him move on.

You're absolutely right & I appreciate you for being the only ONE who wasn't rude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaniyahW_

Well two years ago I met my ex-boyfriend & we've been on & off & even at certain points we stopped talking but always at some point ended up getting back in touch with each other. Just last month after three months of not speaking at all he inboxed me on Facebook and was just basically asking me how everything has been going in my life so far. The next day he asks can he come over to my house being as though he now works close to my house and I agreed. Prior to this I had looked on his Facebook account & it said that he was in a relationship so when he came over I straight up asked him from the beginning & initially he says "yes" & I replied "does she know you're over here?" & he says "no" & I'm just sitting there confused so I ask "are you serious?" and he says "no". Eventually one thing led to another and we had sex. As I was walking him to the bus stop it was this voice in my telling me that he's lying so I check his Facebook again & it still says he's in a relationship with this girl. The next morning he texts me & I never replied. I was on the phone with my friend this same day & I was telling about everything that went down & she's like "matter fact he does have a girlfriend Kevin(her ex-boyfriend) told me(Kevin & my ex are friends.) I call him & he's still lying so he apologizes which I know he's only sorry because he got caught. After that we stopped talking again & then a few days ago he texts me & we were talking & he sends me a text saying he's sorry about everything that happened before & he just wants to be in my life & for me to comfortable enough to call/text him for anything. Later that day he comes over & we just have a long discussion about how things are & we again got on the topic of his girlfriend & I just was like " I don't even want to know if you have one or not,just don't tell me". He says he's going to tell me anyway and says they broke up. Idk why but I believe him this time.. Am I too gullible? Should I just leave him alone??

This is going to be harsh.

Do not get upset when someone uses your own word to describe your actions. You asked if you are too gullible. I, too, might consider you weak when it comes to him but you seem more willful than weak. I have come to the conclusion you know what you want and how to attempt to get it.

I wouldn't call you gullible. I would call you 'the other girl'. I think you were truthful about not caring if he has a girlfriend or not. You want him and you don't care who you are sharing him with or taking him away from. You may not like it but that does not speak very highly of you.

You can either continue to play games with a cheater or you can decide you want walk away and let him cheat on and with other females. Have more respect for yourself and your body.

Get tested for STD/STIs. Delete him on Facebook and block any other forms of communication. Don't let him in the door again unless you really do want to be the other female in his life. If you choose that path, don't be surprised when you find yourself looking for evidence that he is cheating on you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

This is going to be harsh.

Do not get upset when someone uses your own word to describe your actions. You asked if you are too gullible. I, too, might consider you weak when it comes to him but you seem more willful than weak. I have come to the conclusion you know what you want and how to attempt to get it.

I wouldn't call you gullible. I would call you 'the other girl'. I think you were truthful about not caring if he has a girlfriend or not. You want him and you don't care who you are sharing him with or taking him away from. You may not like it but that does not speak very highly of you.

You can either continue to play games with a cheater or you can decide you want walk away and let him cheat on and with other females. Have more respect for yourself and your body.

Get tested for STD/STIs. Delete him on Facebook and block any other forms of communication. Don't let him in the door again unless you really do want to be the other female in his life. If you choose that path, don't be surprised when you find yourself looking for evidence that he is cheating on you.

if you honestly believe I would willingly talk to a boy that has a girlfriend you obviously understood nothing I said, if he thought I would have still talked to him while he had one what would've been his reason for lying? It's not like he just met.me a.few months ago.. he said it himself that if he told me I wouldn't want to talk to him... so that "other girl" expression you used please kill it!

So the battle of the Pro's and the New Member rages on. As is always the case of the internet, understanding and misunderstanding flourishes. With luck success is achieved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaniyahW_

if you honestly believe I would willingly talk to a boy that has a girlfriend you obviously understood nothing I said, if he thought I would have still talked to him while he had one what would've been his reason for lying? It's not like he just met.me a.few months ago.. he said it himself that if he told me I wouldn't want to talk to him... so that "other girl" expression you used please kill it!

You not only talked to him but you had sex with him. Our replies are based on your words. You're going to do what you want no matter what advice you're given. You already have a bad track record with him, why go back?
By the way, you asked if you were gullible, I just said yes but I think you just want to get back with this guy no matter what.

>What to do?<

Leave him alone and live a great life without him, that's what you do.

I don't doubt your love or attachment, but I highly doubt his and so should you. You are and have been one of many for him. It's all too easy to follow your heart and ignore the facts of the matter because of love but you have a responsibility to love yourself and do right by yourself.

I suspect deep down, you know that already, and your anger is really at hearing it from strangers.

On again off again is not true love. Nor is the back and forth healthy.