My problems have been around for a couple of years now, but recently they have been way worse. I honestly believe I suffer with depression and I am only 19 years old. These past couple months have literally been the worst moments of my life. It started with meeting a boy. I fell head over heels for that boy. I have always had trust issues due to how I was raised and how I have been treated in the past so I was always stand offish towards him. He now knows how strongly I felt about him and still feel about him but he could care less. He told me that he could see us lasting a long time and left for a business trip for a weekend and came back a changed person. He was very distant and then randomly told me he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He was the first guy I have ever done anything with so it hurt that he decided to break my heart like that put of nowhere. I took it really hard. I was actually starting to gain his trust and then he goes and ruins it. I tries so hard to keep him in my life but everything I tried seemed to fail due to the feelings I still had for him so I kind of gave up for a bit. Well, one day I started receiving these letters. They were up boosting letters. It was someone who knew me well enough to write about me, but I asked all my friends and they all denied it as them so the only person left was him. I had to get the nerve to straight up ask him.. it was so hard to do. When I finally gained enough confidence to ask him he seemed pretty questionable. He kept asking me questions about the letters so I was pretty convinced it was him. That night I went to a party and went passed a curfew my parents gave me, they shut of my phone and I came home and got into a huge fight with them. The cops ended up being called. I was arrested and put in jail for 38 hours for no reason at all. Jail was not a place for me. I am the kind of girl who never got in trouble for anything so it was extremely scary. I am also one to over think everything so being put on jail after not getting complete closer with tue letters drove me to the point of insanity. I didn't sleep, eat, or use the bathroom all I did was stare at the ceiling the entire time and thought. I just wanted someone there to hold me and make me feel better and the last person I remember doing that was Cristian. When I got out, I tried to contact him. He did answer but he kind of blew me off. Then I felt the need to write a letter. In the letter I wrote all my thoughts, feelings, what I was going through... everything. It was the most thought out letter I have ever wrote. I have never opened up like that to anyone before but I felt the need to. I felt the need to put it all out on the table because what's it to lose. Well, I gave it to him and he basically blew it off. He used to care so much for me and I don't understand how and why someone could do that. It was like a completely different person. I remember he told me he would never make me cry... never hurt me and he hurt me more then anyone could ever imagine. Now this is where I'm left. I'm left with no closure. I'm left hurting. This happened a month ago and this past weekend he deleted and blocked me from Facebook and instagram... I have absolutely no idea why. I haven't done anything. Now I left alone,sad,depressed facing this battle. I have court in 8 days and I'm terrified. I was never even sent to the principals office so I don't even know what to feel. I hate being the criminal... I hate being treated like I'm beneath everyone because I know I don't deserve that. I did nothing wrong. I am going to therapy to help me with all this but I feel like I'm still so down in the slumps. I just want to feel happy again. I just want to feel like my happy laughing silly self. How can I make this better?

Why were you put in jail? You say you don't know why, but there has to be a very good reason for this to happen. You don't go to jail, your parents can't put you there, for blowing a curfew. There is no sense in telling us all of this unless you tell us the truth.

You say this started with you meeting a 'boy'- implying he was your age, or around your age, of 19. Why is he going on a business trip? How old is this person you lost your heart to just two months ago.

The problems you downplay- i.e. your parents, particularly with recent events. Why did you end up in jail. And why do you blame them for trust issues in establishing a relationship with the 'boy'?

You sound immature with the continuous contact, which I think you've also downplayed, with 'the boy', as far as the texting, and continued contact with him, particularly the long letter you gave him.

That you could not accept that this brief relationship was over, and continued to sink further and further into depression, is reason enough for therapy, let alone add to that, your inability to leave him alone.

The letters you received don't sound to me like they were from him. He make things quite clear by saying he didn't want to have a relationship with you and that it was over. Yet, these letters, convinced you he was still contacting you in a silent, secret way. Keeping you hanging, keeping you hopeful, and giving you an excuse to keep trying with this 'boy'.

Is the therapy you are in court ordered? Have you had mental health issues in the past?

And as to your brief relationship, how old was this boy. If you see him every day at school, I hope that it wasn't a teacher. He sounds far older than you.

I hope I'm wrong.

But, honesty being forthcoming from you is lacking. I don't see that you are taking any responsibility for being able, or mature enough, to see where you could have been wrong in some respects. Or, that you could have made a bad situation worse, or, that you are taking responsibility for your parents having to call the police, at least in part.

Can you be a little more truthful, or share a little bit more to fill in some blanks here?

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

You say this started with you meeting a 'boy'- implying he was your age, or around your age, of 19. Why is he going on a business trip? How old is this person you lost your heart to just two months ago.

The problems you downplay- i.e. your parents, particularly with recent events. Why did you end up in jail. And why do you blame them for trust issues in establishing a relationship with the 'boy'?

You sound immature with the continuous contact, which I think you've also downplayed, with 'the boy', as far as the texting, and continued contact with him, particularly the long letter you gave him.

That you could not accept that this brief relationship was over, and continued to sink further and further into depression, is reason enough for therapy, let alone add to that, your inability to leave him alone.

The letters you received don't sound to me like they were from him. He make things quite clear by saying he didn't want to have a relationship with you and that it was over. Yet, these letters, convinced you he was still contacting you in a silent, secret way. Keeping you hanging, keeping you hopeful, and giving you an excuse to keep trying with this 'boy'.

Is the therapy you are in court ordered? Have you had mental health issues in the past?

And as to your brief relationship, how old was this boy. If you see him every day at school, I hope that it wasn't a teacher. He sounds far older than you.

I hope I'm wrong.

But, honesty being forthcoming from you is lacking. I don't see that you are taking any responsibility for being able, or mature enough, to see where you could have been wrong in some respects. Or, that you could have made a bad situation worse, or, that you are taking responsibility for your parents having to call the police, at least in part.

Can you be a little more truthful, or share a little bit more to fill in some blanks here?

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I find it kind of unfair to come up with assumptions. I was not continuously texting him. I left him alone. He said we would be friends so I tried to be friends. I do not have mental issues. I just have trust issues from how I grew up. The reason I was thrown in jail is because me and parents had a fight and under the family violence act if the cops are called someone is going to be arrested. My parents both teamed up on me and I was the one put in jail. My parents have always been controlling, none of my siblings have contact with them for this exact reason. The therapy was not court issued. I went on my own because I know I need help with getting through this. You can call me immature and what not, but if you went through what I have been through you would be saying stuff different. The letter I wrote to him was basically my closer. I have not talked to him since because I know that he is done with the situation and I respect that. He never made it clear to me that it was over. He never straight up told me a reason why. He never gave me closer and that is all I ever wanted. I have came to the conclusion that I might never receive this closer and I am ready to move on with my life. I don't need someone online speaking low to me, and calling me immature and basically pathetic. If you haven't been in my shoes and have even the slightest clue what any of this is like I do not think it's fair to treat someone as you have done. And you are wrong. The boy just turned 19 years old. He went on a business trip with this company his step dad works with.

I don't want to comment on the jail thing or your parents. I will just say that I understand what you are going through is painful. And I want to tell you that, please continue the therapy, and if you know that you haven't done anything wrong then ask help from your friends and siblings or whoever you know can help you in this fight and legal situations. Life can be really messy sometimes but remember the time will pass by so don't loose hope, be strong and courageous! And try to think maturely over every situations. And just except it that the boy whom you loved didn't had guts to love you back, or he was just a playboy or something. Don't waste your time thinking and crying for them, Just change your heart and mind, start everything new and just don't even try to give them any space in your mind or heart or life. Be strong, focus on your own life now. Don't give up, this difficult time will also pass.
God bless you sis. :)

Young lady, I am sorry for your plight. If it makes any difference, most of us have been trashed by a boyfriend or girl friend. Unfortunately it is generally part of growing up. At a young age this can seem to be the end of the world in your mind. Somehow, somewhere, someone has to convince you that this isn't the case and you will be okay. Until then take one day at a time. Make a list each night of your worries. Next to each worry write a note about what you can do about it. The things that have solutions write down the solution and plan to take action. The things you cannot do anything about put down as things you can't change and try to forget about them, because you can't change them. Cross them off your list. May I suggest your ex boyfriend be the first thing you cross off. I don't know you and judgment should be withheld, but I think your issues are a little deeper than just losing a boyfriend you think love. When you realize who you are and that your happiness is dependent on your own strength as an individual then your dependency issues should vanish. Get the counseling. It takes time and effort. It is not like going to the Dr. and he gives you a shot and sends you home healed. Controlling parents are hard to define. If you set limits on your children then you are controlling, if you don't and they end up out of control, then you are assumed to be a bad parent. There is a fine line. One thing I do know after raising 5 children is I made mistakes on both sides of the line. I am glad to say that the maturation of my children as well as myself has ended up being a true blessing. Unfortunately parenting at best is an art and not a science. Five children, five different scenarios, all of which required different approaches. Your greatest peace will come when you realize who you are and that you are okay in spite of rejection by some. I won't give you my life history, but the day will come you will honor your parents for at least trying to teach you and in some cases control what you do. My dad made me tough. I didn't appreciate it for quite some time, but after some times and hardships I knew that he loved me and trained me for the challenges I had to face. Don't give up on them. They are just as hurt as you are and probably frustrated to no end as to how to help. Granted their methods may not be the best, I think deep down they are just trying with whatever parenting skills they have. Mend your fences, find yourself before attaching yourself to someone to fulfill your needs. Fulfill your own needs and become you and then go looking for someone who appreciates who you are and knows that you bring something to the table besides the need to be needed. I didn't go to college to be a mental health professional, but I am an old duffer what I haven't experienced first hand I generally have watched play out over the years. Young lady, you are special, someone created you, someone raised you, someone cries in secret over your tears and trials. You are not alone. You are not worthless or trash even if you have convinced yourself otherwise. I firmly believe you can't really love someone else totally until you truly love yourself. I hope you find this love and I hope you will take what I have said as simply a voice of experience and know someone(s) caring about you. A big smile helps sometime too. Onward and Upward.

What concerns me about you is a theme of assuming that people will do what you want. I'm not just talking about staying in a relationship. I'm referring to your insistence on closure, and on zeroing in on the ex boyfriend as the writer of the letters. No one is under any obligation to provide closure. And an anonymous letter writer isn't going to admit it, right?
I think most of us were not so different from you when we were 19, having intense feelings, and thinking a relationship was the most important thing in life (it isn't). I can't tell if you are almost off the deep end or not, but wonder if you could increase the days per week you see your therapist.
I also wonder if you would tell us why you still live with your parents, when they are so awful that they would call the police. In the US, you would have to hurt them or threaten them with a weapon, or the police would just talk to each family member and file a report of domestic disturbance.