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-   -   A grain of salt (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=792397)

  • May 19, 2014, 03:51 AM
    ScottGem
    A grain of salt
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by catonsville View Post
    Very true, but her mother will get over it in time if she is a real mother. Don't forget her mother was more interested in her baby sitting, than her welfare.

    According to the OP. I'm not saying I don't believe her, but we've had many posts from teens citing intolerable home life that were exaggerated. There are two sides to every story and we are only hearing one side.

    {Mod Note" this was moved from another thread because it went off topic, but I felt it was something to discuss}
  • May 19, 2014, 03:32 PM
    catonsville
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    According to the OP. I'm not saying I don't believe her, but we've had many posts from teens citing intolerable home life that were exaggerated. There are two sides to every story and we are only hearing one side.

    If everything were "peaches and cream", I doubt that this young teen or should I say this young woman would be reaching out for help or advise. If it is a case of having to hear both sides of the story, it might better be heard in court and would somewhat nueter the value of this forum. I am sure due to your long standing on the forum you have heard many untruths. Just a newbie here.
  • May 19, 2014, 03:56 PM
    tickle
    @catonville. Yes, we hear this almost every day, same story. What do you propose that we do from here; in essence we can do nothing from this forum. We are bound by four walls.

    What do you mean 'somewhat neuter the value of this forum'. When we can give only advise; we can't reach out and take this young person in hand.

    Yes, will be better heard in court, and yes, we don't know both sides and probably never will.

    Yes, we have heard many untruths and Scott has upheld many of them and gone and on trying to help, and ultimately the poster never comes back, having vented.

    so, cantonville, respect what you read from us, and please respect our experts. We are all volunteers here and give our time to this forum.
  • May 19, 2014, 04:57 PM
    ScottGem
    What I'm saying is you have to take posters like this with a grain of salt. Assuming she was not a troll just trying to have fun with us, yes she wouldn't have posted if things were all "peaches and cream". But just because she thinks she is being abused, overworked and unloved, doesn't necessarily mean its true.

    I was reacting mostly to your remark that the mother was more interested in babysitting. It made it sound like you were taking her story as gospel. You will notice that none of the responses, including mine didn't offer her good advice. But since you are new here, I was just cautioning you about assuming a poster is being 100% accurate and truthful.
  • May 19, 2014, 05:08 PM
    Catsmine
    Just chiming in since the Mod move, so forgive my ignorance of the original subject. The old saying goes something like: "There's his side, her side, and the truth." Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, speaks from the bias of their own experience and culture. I don't deal with such nearly as much as some, as the forums I concentrate on are more scientifically based, but the phenomenon is universal.
  • May 19, 2014, 06:39 PM
    catonsville
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    @catonville. Yes, we hear this almost every day, same story. What do you propose that we do from here; in essence we can do nothing from this forum. We are bound by four walls.

    What do you mean 'somewhat neuter the value of this forum'. When we can give only advise; we can't reach out and take this young person in hand.

    Yes, will be better heard in court, and yes, we don't know both sides and probably never will.

    Yes, we have heard many untruths and Scott has upheld many of them and gone and on trying to help, and ultimately the poster never comes back, having vented.

    so, cantonville, respect what you read from us, and please respect our experts. We are all volunteers here and give our time to this forum.

    Mr. Tickle, what I meant about "neutering the forum" was that if you or me cannot respond unless we know both sides of the story before speaking, it just makes it less valuable. Was not meant to rattle anyone's cage. Peace
  • May 20, 2014, 04:51 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by catonsville View Post
    Mr. Tickle, what I meant about "neutering the forum" was that if you or me cannot respond unless we know both sides of the story before speaking, it just makes it less valuable. Was not meant to rattle anyone's cage. Peace

    I didn't say you can't respond, I'm just suggesting that your response shouldn't assume that the situation is exactly like the poster reported.
  • May 20, 2014, 04:53 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by catonsville View Post
    Mr. Tickle

    Ummm, Tickle is a lady thus, Ms. Tickle would be more appropriate. ;)
  • May 20, 2014, 07:46 AM
    catonsville
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Ummm, Tickle is a lady thus, Ms. Tickle would be more appropriate. ;)

    See what happens when you are a "newbie", sorry Ms Tickle.
  • May 20, 2014, 07:51 AM
    odinn7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by catonsville View Post
    See what happens when you are a "newbie", sorry Ms Tickle.

    That kind of thing happens around here a lot...nothing to worry about. It's hard to tell who's who just by a name. I had some people assume I am a woman...anyway....

    I know what Scott is saying. Often we take what the poster says as the only truth but then, after being here for a while, you start to see a pattern and you realize....then you become jaded and bitter like me (ok, honestly, I've been jaded and bitter most of my life) and you see there is almost always more to a story. Nobody is upset with you or what you said so don't worry about that. It's just a point that Scott was trying to make and if you just keep it in mind, you'll be up to speed in no time.
  • May 20, 2014, 07:57 AM
    smoothy
    That and your average Teenager MOST times thinks not getting to do everything they want, anytime they want is actually abuse.. still applies to 18 and 19 year olds and even older if they aren't working and still mooching of their parents.

    Its almost as reliable as the sun rising every morning around here. It's a rare teenager that doesn't think that way. At least among those who post here anyway. I like telling them when you rent their own place and support themselves without anyone else giving them money... they get to do what they want. And when they get there, they usually find they can't afford to do it. Thats when they really do some growing up.

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