Hey.

This is about my ex girfriend. We broke up because she can't handle a relationship at the mo "apparently". She was withsomone for 2 years who when we met at uni she left for me we were dating for about 3 months. It was good we didn't have single argument got along great etc etc. but now she said she can't fall in handle the emotional side of things just yet. We still see each other a lot like everyday and get along like a house on fire. Last Monday we kind of got it on :S. fuelled highly by alcohol but still. She still finds me attractive as she has told me. I want her back. And I don't know what to do. Can someone give me some advice please !

Thanks
:)

I posted this for another guy.

I assume you are way too available? You need to learn love tactics. Woman want what they can't have. Be MORE independent.

You need some relationship books - "How to keep your lover" etc.

Humans Are NOT born with relationship skills - you HAVE to learn them.

This website is OUTSTANDING" www.lovetactics.com AND http://www.relationships.blog-city.com - MANY great articles.

www.askmen.com - look under relationships - FANTASTIC stuff - read Doc Love - he will set you straight.

www.sosuave.com

Did you listen to her?? And have quality conversations or were you doing stupid stuff??


Now - with you. Lately have you been clingy/needy?? All lovely-dovey. Did you turn into a Wuss?? Woman hate wusses!! Were you looking for her approval all the time and NOT trying to upset her?? We're you always available and NOT having other outside interest and seeing your friends. Were you being too nice and not having an opinion??

Woman want a confident man. They do NOT want clingy. They want a MAN who has a life outside the relationship.

I say it OVER and OVER here: your SO/GF/BF/Lover is NOT your life. Not your life.

You seem like a 'nice guy' - YOU need to change. YOU need to change.

REMEMBER - people want what they can't have!! Be scares for a while.

How did you react when she broke up?? There are certin things you can do to freak them out and show you are a man and change the light - BUT you have to LEARN this stuff.

START LEARNING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!!

Woman want a nice guy - with some jerk like tendencies:

1. Don't be so nice!! - woman are NOT attracted to this.
2. Don't EVER try and convince her to like you again - YOU can't force a woman to like you!! You need to remember how you were early in the relationship that caused her to like you - act like that guy.
3. Stop looking for her approval for everything - MAKE some freaking decisions - WOMAN want a man who makes decisions. I bet you let her pick all the restaurants, entertainment, everything - woman HATE that.
4. You probablu ALL day long told her how you care and loved her - DON'T SAY it - SHOW IT!! Do things for her. LISTEN TO HER!!
5.NOT getting how attraction works - at one time you gave her a gut feeling that you were a great guy and she let you into her life. It's what ever you DID WHEN YOU FIRST MET!! You got soft dude. Woman DON'T want soft.
6. MOST IMPORTANT POINT!! MOST IMPORTANT POINT!! You gave her ALL the power in the relationship. RIGHT?? All the power. Meaning she made all the decisions - you put her on a pedistal - woman will eat you alive and tear out your heart over this. You did what ever woman wants. Woman hate this!! Wives HATE this!!
7.Not knowing what to do in EVERY situation. LEARN about relationships. LEARN what turns her On. LEARN HOW TO SEDUCE HER!! Learn what she likes.

The ball was in her court!! You thought that was good - you thought she was happy. No, no, no. THE BALL SHOULD BE IN YOUR COURT!! Understand??

YOU stopped being the prize. You need to change. BE THE PRIZE!!

This is tough love. But you really need it dude. There is a lot to learn - this will only help you. These are NOT games, but facts of life!! It's ALL woman talk about!! They have Cosmo and Vogue.

Get this part of your life straightened out.

WOMAN KNOW this stuff!! They have studdied it all their lives!! Guys DON'T know this stuff

WOMAN get CREEPED out by clingy

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Last edited by Wildcat21 : Today at 01:48 AM.

Interesting question, isn't it? We've all had women leave us...

And we've all been in the situation, wondering why she was leaving... and willing to do literallyANYTHING to get her to stay. Read the following scenarios, and nod your head silently if you can identify with any of them:

-You met an incredible woman, and you really hit it off at the beginning. But the more time you spent with her, the less interested she became... but the MORE interested you became. You could feel the balance of power shifting, but there was nothing you could do about it. Eventually she just stopped seeing you, but she never explained why in a way that made any sense...

You were seeing a woman for several months, maybe even a year or so. Everything seemed fine. But then one day she came to you and said "I don't know how I feel anymore, and I just need some time ALONE... some time to 'find myself'...it's not YOU, it's ME"... but her time "alone" turned into her seeing some other guy that didn't treat her half as well as you did... -

You were in a serious long-term relationship that had lasted more than a couple of years, and you were with the woman you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. Sure, you had your problems, but you knew that you'd always work through whatever came up, and she would stick by your side forever. Out of nowhere, she started acting strange... she started to become more controlling and angry... no matter how hard you tried to make her feel better and do nice things, it only got worse. Then she dropped the bomb that she didn't love you anymore, and she was leaving. Or maybe she cheated on you, then told you as her way of breaking up... of course, there are a million variations of these basic situations, but I'll bet you can identify with one of them. I can identify with ALL of them. In fact, I've been through each of them... some more than once. And I'll tell you... I can remember the PAIN and the DESPERATION I felt each time.

I mean, it SUCKED. I hated it.

Probably the WORST part of it was the feeling of POWERLESSNESS that went along with each time.It's bad enough having the woman you like or love leave you... but to have to ALSO deal with the fact that you don't know how to change things, and there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT isjust plain depressing. Again, if you've been there, nod silently with me...

Now let's talk about how to AVOID this kind of thing in the future.

THE PROBLEM ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK

The first thing you must realize in this typeof situation is that the problem you're dealing with isn't what you think it is. Most guys naturally assume that the woman is leaving them because he's not being "nice"enough, or he's not giving her what she wants, or he's not being a good boyfriend... etc.Or they assume that this is just "one of those things that happens", that "feelings change" andthat there's really nothing he could have done anyway. Well, these ideas, and almost all the others that most guys think, are DEAD WRONG.

So STEP ONE is for you to realize that what you THINK you know is WRONG. Throw it out. Start over, and open your mind to a new way of seeing things. I'll share more on this later.

YOU CAN'T SOLVE IT WITH MORE OF THE SAMENow I want to talk about what NOT to do.I know that this is going to sound prettyobvious, but if what you're doing isn't working in a particular situation, you need to STOP. Don't keep doing what's not working. In other words, if the woman you love is breaking up with you, and you've been being nice to her, doing whatever she wants, and telling her that you'll do anything to make it better... if only she'll stay... then STOP. Stop doing that.

Whatever it is you're doing that isn't working ISN'T WORKING. Duh.

So stop it immediately. More of the same is only going to get you more of what is happening.

WHY ATTRACTION IS SO IMPORTANT

One of the main reasons I talk about and teach the concept of ATTRACTION is that when it comes to these types of situations, the REAL underlying reason for them is usually that the woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION anymore. When it all boils down, she just plain does not FEEL IT. Now, a woman will say and do all kinds of things OTHER than telling you that this is the problem. Women have all these ideas in their heads like "I can't tell him how I REALLY feel because I don't want to hurt his feelings" and "I can't tell him what's going on because I don't want to emasculate him" and "It's just easier if I just go away".

Love it.

But when you take away all of the B.S. and you get right to the core of what's going on, you'll usually find that it all boils down to ATTRACTION... or, more specifically, the LACK of ATTRACTION.

I'm going to say something that's pretty bold right now. Get ready. If you do not know how to make a woman feel the GUT LEVEL physical and emotional response called ATTRACTION, then you are going to beout of control in relationships, and will very likely have women leave you for the rest of your life.

There is no security when you don't "get it" in the ATTRACTION department. And you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Women KNOW that they have the upper hand with most men.

As a guy, you can FEEL IT when a woman "has you by the balls". And even if she's not evil or mean, a woman can still crush you emotionally when she's in this powerful position.

Well, guess what?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GIVES HER THIS POWER.

And if you choose, you can KEEP this power

for YOURSELF.

SOLVE THE PROBLEM BEFORE IT STARTS

Now, the BEST way to deal with this particular problem is to SOLVE it BEFORE it even starts.The absolute most important prevention methodis an understanding of female psychology and

ATTRACTION.

Here are a few pointers to get you started:

1) Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.

Women don't feel ATTRACTION for weak men.

Sure, if you chase a woman for long enough, and buy her enough things, she may "fall" for you. But in that case it's not because she feels ATTRACTION for you. OHHHHH NO. It's because she feels AFFECTION for you, and she confuses it with ATTRACTION.

So if your Inner Wussy has been taking the wheel, EVICT IT! -slap the Wuss out of yourself. Do it now.

2) Don't be PREDICTABLE. Predictability is a mortal sin when it comes to attraction. If a woman can guess what you're going to do or say, you're being predictable. If she CAN'T guess what you're going to do orsay, she'll always be wondering...

Now, keep in mind that women are MUCH better at predicting behavior than men. So if you're going to stop being predictable,

then you're going to need to LEARN how. To begin with, PAUSE before you do and say things. Think about what you'd normally do, then

DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Throw in some crazy, off-the-wall stuff for good measure. Predictable is BAD BAD BAD for business.

3) Don't be BORING.

Boring is the bastard child of Predictable. When you are SO predictable that NOTHING is new or different, then you are officially

BORING.

Boring is also the lack of adventure, passion, energy, humor, and ATTRACTION. Unfortunately, most men are REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLY boring. I mean like shoot-yourself boring. Like, if there was a "Boring Score" that took into account everything from food to clothing to interests to conversation, mostmen would score a 99.75 on a 100 scale. It's a bad situation. I used to be pretty damn boring myself,so boring, in fact, that I could probably becertified as an expert on the topic.

So take it from me, BORING is BAD. I don't care WHAT you have to do to stop being boring, but do it.

A few quick ideas:

Take up an interesting hobby. Think wine collecting, not comic book collecting. Mountain biking, not chemistry. Fashion, not Xbox.

You feel me? Now, this is just a taste.

More important than what you do and talk about is HOW you do it and talk about it. There is a way to communicate with women that prevents you from being boring. I suggest that you pay attention to the things you're learning from me so you "get it".

IF THINGS GET BAD, BREAK UP FIRST

Now I'm going to REALLY stick my neck out. This one is going to make the little baby hairs stand up on the backs of necks of women all over the world... If you find yourself in one of these bad situations that I mentioned above, and you sense that the woman in your life is about to leave, then BREAK UP WITH HER FIRST.

DO IT.

Don't hesitate. Cut the line. Hit the road. No matter what your emotions tell you to do, you have to end it FIRST. If you want to have ANY chance of having things work out in the LONG RUN, then youneed to TAKE CONTROL of the situation, and BREAK UP WITH HER. From this position, you will then be ableto see things more clearly, and she will be about 100 times more likely to want to workthings out with you.

If you REALLY want to increase your chances of having things work out, then you should also start dating other women as well.

But let's not talk too much about that, because I'm already in the danger zone here. If you take the time to think about it, you'll realize that breaking up with her FIRST is the best possible thing you can do.As you've heard me say quite a few times, it's important to give a woman the GIFT of

MISSING YOU.

Never is it more important than in one of THESE situations. I know, this is a damn hard thing to do when you're in the heat of the moment... but if you don't do it, you'll probably wind upwith her leaving... and you feeling thatlame POWERLESS feeling that I describedearlier.

OK, so to wrap, let me talk about one more thing... As I mentioned before, the REAL thing that causes women to LEAVE comes down to the man in her life not understanding ATTRACTION and how to make her FEEL IT for him. And, as I mentioned, no woman is EVER going to TELL this to you. Instead, she's just going to LEAVE. When I first started learning all of this stuff about how to be successful with women and dating, I had NO IDEA that I would wind up solving the mystery of why women LEAVE men. I was only looking for the answer to how to get a woman in the first place... I never even thought about KEEPING one once I got her... But now I realize that this particular topicusually winds up being the most important one,because once you find that amazing woman, and get something good going, you certainly don't want to LOSE her.

And when you find yourself in the situation, and you realize that the woman you have is about to leave... you would basically do ANYTHING to stop it. Of course, at that point it's usually TOO LATE to do anything... which sucks. So one of the most important things you can do RIGHT NOW in your life is to learn how and why women feel ATTRACTION for some men... and how to make women feel it for you.