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-   -   Don't know where to go (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=791847)

  • May 11, 2014, 08:26 PM
    Noone2014
    Don't know where to go
    Me and my mum had a big talk about everything. She wants me to go and spend some time living with my dad. She said it was my choice I didn't have to go, but I'm confused does she not want me to stay with her anymore. I know I haven't been the best daughter but I do love her. I don't want to go. I'm just confused should I just go stay with my dad and give her a break?
  • May 11, 2014, 08:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Only you know the situation and how things are.
    Why do you not wish to live with father? What type of relationship do you have with him?
    What type of problems do you have ? How has it affected your mother?

    Has your mother and father already talked about this ? Sounds like they have.

    But yes, sometimes a single parent needs a break.
  • May 12, 2014, 03:42 AM
    Cat1864
    Noon, would living with your father give you a 'fresh' start? Does he live far enough away to get you out of the area where your mother's ex lives (I suggest posters read Noon's previous threads?) Could it help you find a new 'normal'?

    I suggest that you discuss your fears and concerns with her. You might be afraid of what she will say, but she needs to know how this is affecting you. Together you might consider talking to your counselor about everything.
  • May 12, 2014, 08:51 AM
    Jake2008
    I think it is unfair for your mother not to tell you a few things so you know why this is happening.

    She is making it 'your choice', which lets her off the hook, but well establishes the fact that she wants you to go and live with your father at the same time. She doesn't say it's to give her a break, or she wants as part of your summer vacation, which is common in families where parents have split, and share custody.

    Because this will, if you go, be a huge rift in your (known) relationship with your mother, before you make this choice, see if you can't sit down with her and ask a few questions. Perhaps you could also speak to your dad, and see what arrangements have been made, and why.

    I think you deserve an answer. At least with an answer as to why, you may not like what your mom or dad may have to say, but, it is better than not knowing.

    Will this mean moving a great distance, or just a few blocks. Will you be separated from your friends, school, activities?

    You are in a tough spot. You don't want to go, but clearly your mom wants you to. If you stay, you must be wondering how things will go.

    I hope you get some answers to set your mind at ease.
  • May 12, 2014, 01:53 PM
    Noone2014
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    Noon, would living with your father give you a 'fresh' start? Does he live far enough away to get you out of the area where your mother's ex lives (I suggest posters read Noon's previous threads?) Could it help you find a new 'normal'?

    I suggest that you discuss your fears and concerns with her. You might be afraid of what she will say, but she needs to know how this is affecting you. Together you might consider talking to your counselor about everything.

    I thought about it a lot last night it would be a chance for a fresh start I wouldn't have to worry about anything that has happened. My dad lives in a different state so there would be no chance of me seeing him around. I think it would be great but I keep thinking about my sister she needs me I look after her when mum is at work she's to little to look after herself. I do need to talk to mum about it I thought everything was getting better
  • May 17, 2014, 09:56 AM
    Noone2014
    Well talk about life changing decisions they don't make it easy! Do I do what I think is best foe me confused but its all up to me bummer it's all too much wish she just had of told me what to do
  • Jul 26, 2014, 11:33 AM
    JFormby
    When you get older, you might wish that you had lived more with your dad. We don't have our parents forever. Take lots pictures and vidos of your dad, have lots of conversations with your dad.

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