We had a baby placed with us in November. We filed our petition for adoption January 31st. Putative father claims he did not know mother was pregnant. On Feb 4th he registered on the putative father registry, filed for paternity, blood tests show he is the father and now he is contesting the adoption. On his FB page he speaks about smoking weed, not having a job, dealing drugs, no car, no money. I have shared all that info with our attorney. What are our chances of winning? Will the FB stuff help us? He has never given money, and only seen the baby once at the paternity testing. Help! I'm going crazy!

Given all the variables involved, you should be insisting that your lawyer be answering all your questions as this drags on. Laws vary by state and the way courts tend to handle such cases varies by court and even by judge. Is your lawyer an adoption lawyer?
We can't possibly know enough about the mother and the bio father. He really openly admits to drug dealing on Facebook? Sounds odd for someone willing to go to court over this. Does he have a lawyer? Were you at the paternity testing, and when was it? What was the last thing your lawyer told you?
Most of the timeline is missing here.

Many kids today are wanabe gangstas. Unless there is photo evidence then the written word may not be good enough.

Many corts now go to FB, Instagram, and the like to assist in determination of a persons character. I hope your attorney is keeping record of this man's online activity.this doesn't bode well for the father of the child.

First I am sorry this happens, your attorney during adoption should have required a father signing off on adoption. Not having a father signing off, opens up things like this.

I also hope you have made copies of the FB information.

Remember in court he will show up in a suit, maybe have a job by then.

As for as paying money to baby, if there is no court order, he is not required, esp till he proves paternity.

So your lawyer, willl need to try and prove baby better with you. It is a battle,

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

your attorney during adoption should have required a father signing off on adoption. Not having a father signing off, opens up things like this.

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That is not always possible if the mother does not identify a father at the time of birth. And that is what the case is here.

I am not sure what kind of relation has FB to paternity.
If he is determined as the father then he will have all rights and responsibilities. The court should decide who is the parent but not who would be better parent.
There are several cases where the father got rights even many years after adoption was finalized. Baby Richard and baby Jessica for example...

P.S. Your attorney had to explain you that any adoption without father listed on BC is legally at risk adoption.

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Originally Posted by Mommydearest35

What are our chances of winning? Will the FB stuff help us? He has never given money, and only seen the baby once at the paternity testing. Help! I'm going crazy!

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The FB stuff will only mean that a more thorough home evaluation may be conducted. I doubt if the court will make a decision based on it. The court will want a first hand check on his fitness to be a father.

Your attorney can better advise you knowing the mood of the local court better than us. My guess is that the adoption will be put on hold giving the father a chance to prove his fitness.

Here's the thing: There are THOUSANDS of lousy parents out there.

Here's the other thing: They still have legal rights to their children.

And another thing: A lot of people change and step up their game when they become parents, putting behind them things like drugs and partying and flitting from job to job in order to try to be a good parent.

This man has a legal right to have his child, and if he didn't even KNOW about the child, it's not exactly his fault that he hasn't yet.

As far as visiting the child--he may be following his lawyer's advice and not interrupting your life and taking the time since the paternity test to get his life in order--a better place to live and a job take time, you know.

No one can tell you how this will play out. NO ONE.

I know your heart is breaking right now, and you're really afraid, but you need to not look for reassurance on the internet and you need to make sure your lawyer is on top of everything. That being said--you are facing the fear of losing your child right now. Can you not see how the father is facing that same fear? Can you really build your happiness on the pain of someone who didn't want their child to be placed with someone else? Do you think it's fair to take his child away from him when he didn't have a say in any of it?

And I'm not on anyone's "side" here---I'm a birthmother who chose adoption 22 years ago this week, and I'm also a mother who faced years of infertility and dozens of treatments before my "miracle" son was born. I know the pain on both sides. I'm just saying that you shouldn't look at this man as a monster, but as a parent who may or may not love his child.

The court will decide based on both the law and the best interests of the child. If you are religious, I would pray. And I would also keep on top of your lawyer to keep you updated on what is going on and what the best thing for you to do right now is.