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-   -   Relationship problems (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=791554)

  • May 7, 2014, 01:49 PM
    kat1996
    Relationship problems
    I'm 18 and my boyfriend or ex I don't know which one yet is 36. We dated for 6.5 months and the he stopped talking to me one night. He told me he talked to him sister and best friend about me. His sister said she had a problem with the age difference and if I would stay with him or not when I was the one who asked him if we could get married. His best friend said "well she's 18 shes plying mind games with you" I have always been honest about everything even wanted to meet his 2 kids. So after telling me that I told him I was pregnant with his child. Which I was I had a miscarriage 3 days ago no joke. I want to be with him for the rest of my life I want to be his wife and I want to have kids with him.

    He says he just doesn't know if we would survive as a couple and that he does want to be that guy that kept me from going to college and not living my life. I was going to go to college either way and I really want my life to be with him. I told him I believe that we would work bcs I would do anything to make us work. I also love him very much. He didn't talk to me for about 2 weeks before he told me all of this. He still talks to me but not ever much yes he has a job and is going back to college right now to be a nurse. But last night he wanted to see me but I couldn't drive down to see him my parents wouldn't let me. (my parents have been married for 33 yrs and dated 7 yrs before they got married and they have never experienced a breakup) I don't know if we are still together he still calls me babe and he says he loves me. I have no clue if I should just stop talking to him or stay with him. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:11 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Leave him alone as he is slowly leaving you alone.
    His family has let him see and I'm sure he is seeing you two have little in common and he has no business with you. He is a grown man and you are a teen, you sound like a teen.
    He is being the adult now.
    Get your education and some life experience and you will begin to see this in a different light.
    How old were you when you started seeing him?
  • May 7, 2014, 02:22 PM
    kat1996
    17 I'm 18 now
  • May 7, 2014, 02:32 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Sounds like he was enjoying messing with a teenager and has now come to his senses. Did your parents know you were seeing the man?
  • May 7, 2014, 02:36 PM
    kat1996
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Sounds like he was enjoying messing with a teenager and has now come to his senses. Did your parents know you were seeing the man?
    Yes they did they met him
  • May 7, 2014, 02:36 PM
    talaniman
    Pregnancy, miscarriage and talk of marriage, all in 6.5 months? What's your hurry to run head first into a brick wall? Think you are more than a little carried away?

    Too much, too fast, crash and burn. Are you even considering birth control? Your parents can't be cool with this.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:37 PM
    kat1996
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Pregnancy, miscarriage and talk of marriage, all in 6.5 months? What's your hurry to run head first into a brick wall? Think you are more than a little carried away?

    Too much, too fast, crash and burn. Are you even considering birth control? Your parents can't be cool with this.
    I want to get married and have kids. Even now
  • May 7, 2014, 02:39 PM
    smoothy
    Under 18... depending on where you live... it could land him a very long time in prison, and a lifetime as a registered sex offender.

    I guess pretty soon you are going to be too old for him.

    Not a swipe at you... but what exactly a 36 year old man sees in a 17 year old is beyond me... you're going to be going through some major maturing over the next few years... you might feel like you are an adult, but the reality is you aren't yet... and have far more in common with a 15 year old than you do a 19 year old when you are 17. You won't be the adult you will be until after you are 21-25, until then you rally don't know what you want in life and will make major changed the next few years.....its common and everyone goes through this at that age range.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:40 PM
    talaniman
    Obviously he doesn't. Only a young fool would after 6 months. You are scary.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:42 PM
    kat1996
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Under 18... depending on where you live... it could land him a very long time in prison, and a lifetime as a registered sex offender.

    I guess pretty soon you are going to be too old for him.

    Not a swipe at you... but what exactly a 36 year old man sees in a 17 year old is beyond me... you're going to be going through some major maturing over the next few years... you might feel like you are an adult, but the reality is you aren't yet... and have far more in common with a 15 year old than you do a 19 year old when you are 17.
    Actually I had more in common with him than any of the other guys I dated and they were my own age. And he didn't always wanted to have sex with me.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:43 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kat1996 View Post
    Yes they did they met him
    And they didn't care their 17 year old daughter was seeing a 36 year old man?
    There is no way this man is going to marry a teen.
    Why were you not on birth control? I'm wondering why he did not protect himself. This is irresponsible crazy.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:45 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kat1996 View Post
    I was going to go to college either way...I want to get married and have kids. Even now
    What about college? It would be nearly impossible to do both.
  • May 7, 2014, 02:55 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kat1996 View Post
    Actually I had more in common with him than any of the other guys I dated and they were my own age. And he didn't always wanted to have sex with me.
    The only thing you had nothing in common with him was what he let you think you did. There is nothing you could have had in common with him. He is probably moving on to the next 17 year old or has come to his senses. All this talk of babies and marriages woke him up.
  • May 7, 2014, 06:23 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kat1996 View Post
    Actually I had more in common with him than any of the other guys I dated and they were my own age. And he didn't always wanted to have sex with me.
    Honestly... thats not saying one thing good about him if its really true.

    He fits the profile of a preditor... and probibly can't get a woman his age... or above the age of 21 because they will have all learned enough to know when a smooth talking guy is BSing them.

    At 17 you don't have the life experience yet , nor are you street smart enough to recognise the games a guy this much older than you will paly with someone your age.

    You will learn eventually... hopefully before you find yourself being a single mom with him nowhere to be found.
  • May 7, 2014, 06:33 PM
    Alty
    Boy this sounds familiar.

    My cousin is doing the same thing your boyfriend is doing, and it's ruining his family. So instead of repeating what I've already written, here's the link to my thread about my cousin.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ut-785031.html

    You're a child. You have no idea what it takes to be a step mom, much less a mom. You have stars in your eyes because some guy treated you nice. If it was meant to be, why start a family now, why rush into marriage. Wait a few years, 7 would be best, then if you're still madly in love with each other, tie the knot.

    You're moving too fast here. Slow down. What's the rush if it's really love?

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