My situation is kind of unique. I dated this guy for a few months and we never had sex. After we broke up we decided to do the fwb thing and see where things went. We have sex weekly and I think its great. The orgasms he gives me are wonderful and he keeps telling me that his are too. But I can't seem to have one through penetration. I get so close but just can't let go enough to get there. We were talking and he was saying how he doesn't see the point if I can't orgasm he needs to know if I can or not and pretty much it makes him feel like he doesn't know what he is doing. I'm not ready to give up can anyone give me suggestions to get to that point of letting go?

How old are the two of you?

I'm in my late 20s he's in his late 30s

This is so much a personal situation for you. I can only say that if you are masturbating in between time when you see him, just stop masturbating. You are obviously having orgasms from clitoral stimulation and this is very predictable for you.

Most women do not orgasm from penetration only. Orgasms for women are mental, rarely physical. You need to be mentally stimulated as well as clitorally stimulated in order to orgasm.

It takes me a while to get an orgasm through clitoral simulation he says he feels terrible because its like I'm fighting for it which yea I kind of am. Its very difficult for me to have 2 in the same night although he can sometimes do it. I'm sorry if I'm getting to personal I just have never had a guy care this much about wanting me to feel good and yet I feel like he's about to just give up on me

2 in one night?!

Orgasms for women are more mental than they are physical.

I learned a long time ago to take the thrills you get and don't worry about the ones you can't get. Especially when you cannot get the one you want and make your partner feel bad about it. Takes years to work out what adjustments have to be made by you both through experimenting, and exploring so enjoy it and see and not fret over it.

I appreciate the replies! He actually brought this up to me I had no idea it was bothering him so much. He's putting pressure on me to make it happen like it's a magic button. I have never been able to get one through penetration or even got close until I was with him.

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Originally Posted by Annabella751

It takes me a while to get an orgasm through clitoral simulation he says he feels terrible because its like I'm fighting for it which yea I kind of am. Its very difficult for me to have 2 in the same night although he can sometimes do it. I'm sorry if I'm getting to personal I just have never had a guy care this much about wanting me to feel good and yet I feel like he's about to just give up on me

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Sorry, didn't mean you were getting too personal ! I mean, and I should have stated it better, every woman is different for sure, that is a given, but don't masturbate anymore and see what happens with him.

I usually don't but I'll make sure to completely hold off. We also have only a little foreplay too which I was wondering if maybe that was part of it too. I feel like a teen again with these problems trying to figure a boy out lol

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Originally Posted by Annabella751

We also have only a little foreplay too

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For we women, foreplay is more mental than physical (like J_9 said) and begins long before the "main event." During the day and evening, does he caress your cheek, stroke your neck, tuck a strand of hair behind your ear or brush your bangs off your forehead, hug you tenderly, touch your arm or hand lovingly, etc. How does he talk to you or does he do things for you out of love and affection? With that build-up of sexual tension long before actual intercourse, foreplay preceding it probably wouldn't need to be all that long, but would be just more of the same kind of loving caresses and attention.

I don't get any affection from him. He used to hug me if u kiss him he will kiss me back but that's it. He was like that when we were dating. I know he likes me there's no doubt in my mind its really an odd situation

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Originally Posted by Annabella751

I don't get any affection from him. He used to hug me if u kiss him he will kiss me back but that's it. He was like that when we were dating. I know he likes me there's no doubt in my mind its really an odd situation

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From what you have said so far (and this may sound harsh): It sounds like he is more interested in the goal of climaxing instead of taking pleasure in the journey. Your climaxing seems to be more about his prowess with his penis instead of actually enjoying the experience.

Do you spend time together doing anything other than having sex? Is it more of meeting up and jumping straight into bed?

As has been said, orgasm for females starts long before you take clothes off and get in bed. It begins in the brain and the body follows.

The female body isn't really designed to get maximum pleasure through penetration. Those who do usually are extremely aroused before intercourse and/or use other means such as fingers or toys.

Masturbating is okay and does not sound like it is the issue. For some women, it helps keep them in the mood and makes it easier for them to be aroused. Do you allow yourself to enjoy feeling aroused?

Does he like you or is he wanting a warm body instead of a masturbatory aid?

If you feel like you are having a difficult time getting aroused and aren't fully enjoying sex because of the pressure to climax (from yourself and him), this may not be a good relationship for you. Why are you in this arrangement?

I didn't orgasm through penetration until I was in my 40s.

What do you expect from a friend with benefits that went from relationship to an sexercise buddy? You both like the sex, and now you have an issue? You ended the relationship and went backward, so end the FWB's, and don't be deluded by this no strings attached fake relationship.

So what's so unique about this situation?

We do other things other than just sex. We hang out talk for hours watch movies have dinner etc. I know he likes me but he's been hurt so many times he's afraid to get really close to me. That's why there's lack of affection I think. Carol what changed at. 40 from when you were younger