Hi, I am a 40-something year old male. I have been in a relationship with a 30-something year old female. The circumstances surrounding the beginning of our relationship were somewhat complicated as I was recently divorced and dating another woman and she had been separated from her husband for almost two years. At the time, she lived nearly four hours away and I didn't know if a long distance relationship would ever work and like I said I was in an already rocky relationship with a girl I had been dating. I never told her about my girlfriend at the time mainly because I was unsure of how, if at all, it would work.
Two weeks after we initially met I could not get her out of my head and she contacted me because apparently she couldn't forget about me either. We decided that we wanted a relationship and I broke up with the girl I had been dating. She was everything I had ever wanted: beautiful, loving and funny. A month after we started our relationship she had a hysterectomy and struggled taking care of her two young boys let alone herself. I asked her to move in with me so I could take care of her and help her with the boys which she did. We had been living together for almost two month when she found out about my ex-girlfriend and as a result was very angry. I tried to explain to her that the relationship had already been on the rocks well before I met her and that I didn't tell her about it because I was too busy trying to move forward and build our relationship plus I didn't want to hurt what we had. She took it very hard almost to the point of leaving me. We got engaged and everything seemed to settle down until one night she admitted to me that she had slept with her estranged husband during the two weeks after we initially met. I thought it was strange that she made such a big deal about my relationship when she was virtually doing the same thing. Of course afterwards, I was very apprehensive about her meeting with her estranged husband alone, but she assured me that there was nothing between them.
A little less than a month ago, she confided in me that when her friend came down to visit late one night that she had called her estranged and she had told him that she loved him but she was drunk. But it gets better, after prying a little more she admitted sleeping with him in November (it being March at the time) when I was away and he came to visit the kids. Of course, I was floored. I couldn't believe it. She said she was sorry and that it was a big mistake that she would never repeat.
Being the suspicious person that I am, about a week later I hacked her email and found that there were emails sent back and forth between them with sexual videos and pictures and comments in January. I was livid. I confronted her with these and she admitted that she did it and said she was sorry again. I told her that I wanted her to call her estranged husband and tell him that it was over which she did. He also texted me said that what they did was “dumb” and that she told him it was over because she loved me.
Just to make it clear, I have been faithful to her since we began our relationship. We are still together, but I will have to admit that there are days where my mind wanders and I wonder why it all happened and whether it will happen again.
Any advice? What do I do now?