My husband won't allow me to have male friends. He says I am not to even talk to a man. Think this is controlling and wrong for him to be this way. Is he right? What should I do?
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My husband won't allow me to have male friends. He says I am not to even talk to a man. Think this is controlling and wrong for him to be this way. Is he right? What should I do?
Of course he isn't right!
He can't tell you who to talk to or look at.. what is he like!
Wake up and stand up to yourself!!
It doesn't mean because you talk to a man you are going to jump to bed with them!!
Does he have female friends?
What the? I agree with Krs above.Quote:
Originally Posted by taiowa
This is not a good sign.
Is this the only controlling thing he does? Does he tell you what you should or shouldn't wear, eat, or do? If so, this is more than just insecurity or jealousy and it is a HUGE red flag.
Well he has serious issues, but why, did he have some problems in a previous relationship. And of course one just has to read some of the other posts to see that sadly often there are things to fear, work place relatonshiops, women in love with married men, married women having affairs with married men and so on, we get dozens of them on here a day.
What it appears is that the two of you need to go to marriage counseling to help build your relationship.
With that said he did not just start this I will guess and had to be like this while you were dating, so he had to be like this for the entire time you were dating,
You describe your situation in 5 lines... but WHY is your husband insecure, does he have a bad experience with you, with another woman, what is going on that you don't describe...Quote:
Originally Posted by taiowa
If he is your husband you must have known him for a while... and if he was as insecure as you describe him then you surely must have noticed this in the past... were you fine with it back then?. if not, then what -ask yourself that- has happened for him to become like this...
It's never so simple to give somebody feedback when there are just 5 lines posted...
Was he this way before marrige? If he was you sure made a dumb choice in men.
If he wasn't then, you better nip his control in the bud, and let him know he has none (control over you) It will get worse.
Tal I disagree with your above post.
Many many people do not change until after marriage. Some stay the same. Does not mean she made a dumb choice in a man, there must have been lots of aspects she loved in order to marry him.
As far as nipping the control in the bud. Yes, I agree she needs to let him know that he can not demand or tell her what friends she can and can not have or who she can or can not talk to.
I also agree, that if this just started or was an issue before that IT COULD BE a sign of things to get worse. Does he hide you away from your own family and or friends?
Joe
Yes this is wrong and it is just the tip of the iceberg. No he is not right, and you should run as fast as you can from this man before it escalates.Quote:
Originally Posted by taiowa
This is controlling behavior, and men who are this way usually get worse. Not always, but usually.
Insecurities in men are perhaps the worst thing any woman can go through... Men who are insecure with themselves usually tend to be controlling and emotionally negelectful towards the woman they love... This if not stopped could lead to further problems in your relationship like you losing repect for him and possibly leaving him. Trust me if this continues he is simply going to treat you like a possession in his life and the consquence is that you will not be a person in his eyes... That is one of the worst examples of disrepect toward another human being. Men like him need constant admiration and yes affectionate reassurance. You as the woman in the relationship need to talk to him, explain to him that you are the love of his life. Establish a good routine of talking to him, take him by the hand and sit down with him and have strong eye contact with him... do this always every time you two talk. Never let him stray away from the conversation. Let him know that you are serious and that you are concerned with his feelings and understand why he feels the way he does. Do not let your emotions run your conversation no matter what he says to you. He needs to learn to trust you and then he will open up to you. You need to get to bottom of why he is so insecure with himself. It could be prior relationships, or his up bringing that makes him the way he is. As a woman trust is everything and if he can't find it in himself then your relationship will fail. That old saying is true, "If you can't love yourself, then how could you ever love me"
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