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-   -   How do I get him back after our break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=79062)

  • Apr 4, 2007, 06:52 AM
    urbantiger
    How do I get him back after our break up
    My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, we only went out for 3 months but I get an overwhelming feeling that we are meant to be together.

    We both work for the same company and live abroad in separate flats. All relations, whether friendships or relationships are very intense here as we all work together, socialize together and live very near to one another. We probably spend too much time together, and when I came back from my holiday we spent 2 nights together then he told me that he just didn't think it was working. I've never really had a valid reason for this but it must have something to do with personal space. However the amount of time we spent together was a joint decision!

    Now I'm going out and doing my own thing he told me he feels left out! He keeps texting me and e-mailing me and I'm so confused, he either wants me or he doesn't, I want him back but I'm not going to be the one to make the first step this time! How do I play it?
  • Apr 4, 2007, 06:59 AM
    tickle
    I really think you should take the stand here. You need to let him know you absolutely need your space right now. You are correct, it sounds like you two have been living like siamese twins !

    If you have to, put a time limit on doing your own thing and tell him he has to as well. Better be safe then sorry and absolutely sure you two are meant for each other before further commitments.

    Could be both of you need a third party intervention here, like a counseller, someone in the community who can just sit down with both of you and you two can iron out what you each need to make the relationship work properly.
  • Apr 4, 2007, 07:02 AM
    alizeblu
    HOW DO YOU PLAY IT!

    OK I'm sorry...

    Look this isint a GAME. If you love him, you need to seriously sit down and talk to him about your relationship. Stop playing these childish "i dont wanna be the 1st to communicate" games. Cause honestly in a relationship, it doesn't matter who initiates contact 1st, who cares, just talk to him. Wow maybe that's why you guys are having problems?

    Communication,trust,loyalty,respect,security.

    Bottom line... just talk to him. Not that big of a deal.

    OK look, obviously he wants you too, but if he says that he doesn't think its working out ask him why. Tell him you are confused and you need to know where this relationship is heading, you need to let him know your opinions about the situation, because obviously I'm thinking you 2 still like each other,but you're just sending mixed signals to each other, and you both are getting more confused than you were before you started the break.

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