I am having a hard time believing I will ever be able to get a minimum wage job when I'm constantly anxious about something. I had a job when at 18 with my cousins' help and with one rude comment from a customer I broke down crying. I left and could not physically go back into the store. Of course I was fired and haven't had a job since. Some jobs would eventually call and since the 21 years I have been alive I manged to get 21 jobs to call me and skipped over half of them due to nervousness. Would manage to get to the store and turn back crying like a damn baby. Out of those interviews manged to go to 3 crying during all of them and making them uncomfortable with me apologizing for being fat worthless stupid trash. The rest I couldn't even pick up the phone to even talk. One time I did managed to talk and ended up stuttering, and ruined all chances with my saying I am a terrible candidate and sorry for wasting their time. It automatically flew out of my mouth. As for solutions I only tried exercising and it doesn't help. I am terrified of mock interviews. In community college I am somewhat OK people still make me very anxious but I don't have to talk at all even though I am getting terrible grades because of it.

You are 21, and in college or university?

Is the part time work you are seeking, also causing stress?

Because these issues, for a lack of a better word, have been going on with you for many years, I have to ask if you've ever had treatment to address them.

What about friends and family?

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

You are 21, and in college or university?

Is the part time work you are seeking, also causing stress?

Because these issues, for a lack of a better word, have been going on with you for many years, I have to ask if you've ever had treatment to address them.

What about friends and family?

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I am in community college dropped out of university. Um no I haven't because I thought it will go away on its own when I grew up.

I have no friends. I don't know what you mean by family tbh

Is there a college counseling center?

Sorry, and um no or I don't really know for sure. I don't think they do cause all problems one have they can go to these places a list on their website..i beilve.

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Originally Posted by numbafive

Sorry, and um no or I don't really know for sure. I don't think they do cause all problems one have they can go to these places a list on their website..i beilve.

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Counseling is confidential.

I guess so. Can't make myself go then been putting it off for years.

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Originally Posted by numbafive

I guess so. Can't make myself go then been putting it off for years.

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Would telephone counseling be worth a try? Or email?

Possibly.. all I wanted is a job can't even seem to get that if I got one all my problems would vanish.

I know I can get one wondergirl I went to a temp agency once and able to get a 3-day job packing boxes no interview required at all. Only had to grunt a few words and sign some papers I was in. I was supper anxious but no pressure at all. Couldn't do it anymore because they needed people early in the morning and no one was willing to drive me there anymore. back when i had my mp3 player music was the only thing that calmed me.

Where do you think the anxiety is coming from?

It sounds like you can get a job just fine, but your anxiety (or other problems) don't let you keep it. Make sense?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It sounds like you can get a job just fine, but your anxiety (or other problems) don't let you keep it. Make sense?

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Yeah, the job my cousin got was the only one I ever had everything else was just simply a failure. I can't tell if it is an anxiety or extreme nervousness everything about interview makes me want to hide and cry. I know I need to grow up but I feels more like an interrogation than a conversation. And how am I suppose to be positive when I hate everything about myself? Can't say a simple positive thing about myself or anyone else. It is always negative.

People make me anxious thinking about people make me anxious having to talk to them makes me anxious. Community college is fine because I don't have to speak to anyone. If I say something wrong I just stop going don't have to see them again.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Where do you think the anxiety is coming from?

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I don't know self loathing self hatred all since I can remember I disliked everything about myself and it because people keep telling me I am exactly like my mother. Every negative thing imagined is applied to my mother maybe out of anger and joking and when people say I am just like hell how the heck am I not supposed to take that personally. She ugly, lazy, fat, smelly, rude, careless, loud and I am just more introverted than her.

You need counseling...this is not something you seem to be able to get past on your own. You hate yourself and you make sure everyone knows it....this is not going to help you in life at all. You need to seek out therapy and get this out of the way.

I agree, you need to seek professional help. If you see what I look like, big, fat, bald. I limp. Have a bad eye. And will trade scars with the best. Guess what, I could get a job tomorrow, Because I believe in myself. I will not get a job as a underwear model, but I did get in a Bus company advertisement last year as a bus driver.

It is correct, jobs have called you, you could have had lots of jobs. The problem is one you need to fix. Please seek professional counseling or therapy

I can help you answer your question. You can get a job if you have anxiety/or are an anxious person. I am the most panicky, inconfident and anxious person I know. I stepped out of my comfort zone and bagged myself a full time job.
Here's some tips that helped me:

- Smile!! - Seriously, it works! It's like smiling almost tricks your brain into believe you're happy, content... The more you smile at interviews or horrible situations, the less you think about how crap everything is... It really does work.
- In job applications, do not put 'Anxiety' or 'Stress' under 'any medical conditions' - I know for myself that when I'm about to be put in an uncomfortable situation, I'd like someone there to know exactly how I'm feeling, so if I panicked at all they'd understand, they wouldn't judge. But do not put this on the Application form - Companies 'don't have time for that'...
- If you reach the interview, you can say then that you suffer from anxiety/are an anxious person, because then it should make you feel more comfortable around the employer, but make sure you follow it up with a high point, e.g; I am an anxious person, but if I were to panic I know how to control it, it's not an issue.. Etc.
That's if you really feel you need to say it.
- Keep Breathing! - What I've recently discovered is a good way to control your breathing, this is very handy especially for me as I have panic attacks all the time - Drinking water! Because what happens when you drink water? You breathe, you're breathing in through your nose, you're hydrating yourself and once you swallow the water, you breathe out. It really does control your breathing and allows you to feel less flustered.
- Stop insulting yourself! - These people may be looking at you with so much hope or promise, you may be so suiting for the position, but putting yourself down like that will only make them think otherwise. It puts them in an awkward position and they begin to feel uncomfortable.. it's not just like that with employers, it's everyone! I know how hard it actually is to do, but Try to be confident, I literally Fake my confidence into things! Haha :) Nobodies perfect, everyone's different. You should do things that make YOU feel good, go out for long walks, get some fresh air, it clears your mind and you'll feel good about it!
- Don't worry - I actually hate it when people tell me not to worry. But it's true, there's actually nothing to worry about really. Whenever you're in a horrible situation, ask yourself 'what's the worst that could happen'?


Wishing you all the best xx