Ask Me Help Desk - Kicking out my 22 year old daughter

My 22 year old daughter got pregnant at 19... She and the baby live w/my husband & I. I baby sit my grandson while she is at work & school. (which is almost 24/7) She contributes nothing to the household and her new boyfriend "accidentally" falls asleep in her bed and stays the night. She's verbally abusive & says anything in front of her son. We have told her to move many times... but to know avail. We love our grandson & hate to put "Him" out. We've called the cops and they said put her things out on the porch in boxes & that our grandson isn't our responsibility
... what are our rights?

You have the right to kick her out.

What other rights are you asking about?

Are you wondering about your rights to your grandson?

You evict her... which is the actual legal process you will need to follow. YOu can kick him out since he doesn't live there.

You give her in writing the legally required notice to vacate... which is 30 days in most of the country, 60 days in parts of California and 15 days in Florida.

Doesn't matter she's related... doesn't matter she pays nothing... legally she is a tenant... one who as an adult... you have ZERO obligation to support.

As noted the police were wrong. If you put her stuff out on the porch that would be an illegal eviction. You have to serve her written notice to vacate and if she doesn't, then you go to court for an eviction order.

But if she goes so does your grandson. You have no right to keep him in your home. You may have some rights to continue to visit him but that's slim. So you need to make a decision, because if you force her out you probably will not see your grandson any more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As noted the police were wrong. If you put her stuff out on the porch that would be an illegal eviction. You have to serve her written notice to vacate and if she doesn't, then you go to court for an eviction order.

But if she goes so does your grandson. You have no right to keep him in your home. You may have some rights to continue to visit him but that's slim. So you need to make a decision, because if you force her out you probably will not see your grandson any more.

While you may be technically correct about the eviction, another question to ask is whether she actually has the resources to enforce an action against you for an illegal eviction. If she doesn't have the knowledge, coupled with access to an attorney, chances are nothing will happen if you evict her (ie: someone has to enforce her rights).

I also would be cautious about blanket statements that you have little rights to your grandchildren. Many states enforce grandparents rights, and if you have provided, mentally and physically, for the minor child, that may strengthen your case. Additionally, if you are babysitting often, your daughter may actually wish to leave the child with you, which would further strengthen your case for visitation and or custody rights. I would speak with an attorney about both issues.

The better question, is whether you actually want to go through with this. It sounds like your daughter is causing you terrible emotional turmoil, and if she is being abusive, whether emotional or physical, you shouldn't have to put up with it. But, it may be worth it to consider the strain this will have on your relationship going forward and your relationship with your grandchild.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anoni Mouse

While you may be technically correct about the eviction, another question to ask is whether she actually has the resources to enforce an action against you for an illegal eviction. If she doesn't have the knowledge, coupled with access to an attorney, chances are nothing will happen if you evict her (ie: someone has to enforce her rights).

I also would be cautious about blanket statements that you have little rights to your grandchildren. Many states enforce grandparents rights, and if you have provided, mentally and physically, for the minor child, that may strengthen your case. Additionally, if you are babysitting often, your daughter may actually wish to leave the child with you, which would further strengthen your case for visitation and or custody rights. I would speak with an attorney about both issues.

The better question, is whether you actually want to go through with this. It sounds like your daughter is causing you terrible emotional turmoil, and if she is being abusive, whether emotional or physical, you shouldn't have to put up with it. But, it may be worth it to consider the strain this will have on your relationship going forward and your relationship with your grandchild.

First, A person doesn't need a lot of resources to pursue an illegal eviction. Depending on location there are plenty of resources that may be available. Tenant support groups, small claims courts, etc. If the eviction is illegal the police may get involved. Suggesting that a person commit an illegal act on the possibility, even probability, that they won't be caught is very poor advice. It is the job of sites like this to make people aware of the possibilities that they may encounter.

Second, I made no "blanket statements". While it is true that many states have enacted grandparent rights, the vast majority of those laws cover situations where there is a marital breakup. That is not the situation here. If the mother decides to sever relations, most laws will not cover such a situation. So my statement was accurate.

Third, here we agree and that is the point I was making. If she throws out the daughter it will probably have an effect on her ability to see her grandson.

I live in a state that has grandparent rights. Grandparent rights don't apply in this situation. The grandmothers daughter has custody. If the child's father had custody then the grandmother could petition the court for visitation. If op can prove that the child's mother is a danger to the child the child might be removed from the mother's care. This too doesn't guarantee that the child will remain in the care of the grandmother. I would likely legally remove the one causing problems. With that said, I do agree with the others that it will likely significantly change the relationship with the grandchild. I feel for the children put in these circumstances.