I live in Washington and am bound here by the army. I have a lawyer and are in the process of finishing my divorce and custody. My spouse lives in WV and had a child with another man while we were still legally married. The child was born in VA and all parties agree that the child is in fact not mine and the other man is the biological father of said child. Is there a way to disestablish the paternity of the child without doing a paternity test if all parties are in total agreement of the paternity? If so, how can I go about doing this?

A paternity test is required. Until then you are considered the legal father and are required to support the child as such.

If you have a lawyer (in West Virginia, I assume) the lawyer should have a much better answer for you than we would.

What is your objection to a paternity test? They are not invasive, relatively inexpensive, and you wouldn't have to travel to do it.

In VA the law states that the husband is the legal father. Too change that someone has to go to court to establish paternity. This will involve a DNA test. Like AK, I don't understand your objection. You go to a lab designated by the court, they take a cheek swab and you are done.

I now see that the child was born in Virginia but the mother (and presumably the child) live in West Virginia. OP fails to specify where the divorce is pending, but it's a good question as to which law (WV or VA) applies (as far as the presumption of paternity is concerned).