I just found nude pics on the computer of my daughter. Some are selfies, others are not. I just don't know what to do. She's 18. Do I ground her? I want to ground her and take away computer privileges. She's paid for her own phone and her minutes, so I can't take that. But I am FLOORED by this. I never expected this out of my daughter. I really don't know what to do?

You can set the rules in your home, no matter who paid for what. I'd have a heart to heart talk with her and explain that something like this can cause problems today and in her future. If she has plans to attend college, what is her desired career? Would these pictures prevent her from achieving those goals? Would she want her future boss looking at these? Today's background checks include Internet searches. She should use extreme caution.

I hope your daughter realizes that now they are accessible to anyone out there. You may point that out to her and see what she thinks. Of course now she knows you were spying on her which isn't very good for you. Don't know how you will get around the spying issue.

Did you already know something was going on ?

Agreed Facial recognitions software is progressing in leaps and bounds all the time... and anything posted on the internet, once out there can end up any and everywhere, and there is no taking it back. Even if she didn't post it online... anyone she sent them to could easily do it.

I wasn't spying on her. We use the same computer, so I was on a website and went to change my avatar pic.. when I hit the choose pic from my files button they popped up. I had no idea, and about fell over dead! She's a good kid, good grades and already taking college courses. I just am stunned over this. I think I'll have a chat with her after I calm down here in a few hours and explain what can happen. My first thought was of some perv using them. Eww! She needs to realize that not only can pervs find them, potential colleges, employers, friends, boyfriends families and eventually my future grandchildren. Thank you all for the QUICK great advice! I'm losing my mind over this one!

A LOT of the nude photos in the internet get posted by boyfriends and particularly EX-boyfriends. Sure a lot get posted by the girls themselves as well... but once someone has something that's so easily copied and sent worldwide... control of it is forever lost.

Keep your cool, mom ! Starting a potentially volatile conversation with her will do no good at all. Good luck !

She sounds smart enough, and well-raised enough, that she should be able to understand the ramifications of any internet usage, particularly pictures taken in compromising positions. These selfies, shoud be called 'self destruction pictures'. There are no good consequences from posting anything like your daughter has, for all the world to see. It cannot be reversed.

I'm not sure you have actually talked to her yet. Please do that as soon as possible, and point out the obvious danger, and the future consequences. Include the fact that it sounds like the pictures were pornographic, and she could be reported to the police.

As to consequences, yes, you are entitled, as a parent, to set consequences for such behavior, as both a deterrent to send a strong message, and a punishment for the behavior itself.

I would remove the phone. If you found a bag of heroin in her room, you'd remove that even if she paid for it right?

The phone was the method to take the pictures, just like a needle is the method to shoot the drugs.

If she has use of the family car, take away the keys. Disconnect the internet from the house.

The phone, the car, and the internet, are the punishment, at an amount of time to be determined by you. The parent. You may wish to re-introduce these things at intervals, over a period of a few months.

Do a little research, and see what you can find on the dangers of posting selfies that include nudity. Look for testimonials of people who have done similar, and have suffered consequences, such as not landing a job, or getting into college. It is not uncommon for any institution to look up her FB page, and who's to say a vindictive friend/boyfriend wouldn't post these pictures elsewhere, to be found.

She didn't take these pictures for herself. Maybe it was on a dare, maybe it was to get attention from a certain boy, who knows what. But there was a reason for her doing this, and you need to know what that reason was.

We aren't talking about punishing her for being 10 minutes late on curfew here, but rather punishing her for something she has done, that could change her life forever.